When you feel like you can’t live anymore because of your terrible intrusive thoughts, What do you do? How do you overcome this? I don’t want to do anything to myself but I want this all to end.

The saying goes: "I'm just taking it day by day." but my therapist helped me reword this to "I'm taking it moment by moment." as sometimes, its best not to try to think about the future of our OCD, to rather, just focus on doing our best in this moment. I know it's hard to see it now or believe that it's true, but OCD is very responsive to treatment. Have you practiced ERP by yourself or with a ERP-trained therapist? Also, The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD by Kimberly Quinlan helped me a lot with suicidal OCD. In her book, she discusses mindful responses to thoughts. For example, you may think: "This thought or feeling will never go away." and the mindful response would be: "This thought is temporary and will pass with time." Another one would be: "This thought is bad." and the mindful response is "This thought is neither good nor bad. It is a thought." Lastly, I'll leave you with a quote from Jon Hershfield: "One of the most effective ways of combating these obsessions is not to fight them at all, but to accept their presence. A thought is not a prediction, instruction, or call to action. A thought is a chemical and electrical event in your brain, neurons firing this way instead of that way. You have weird, unpleasant, or violent thoughts simply as a result of having a brain, which means you can think about anything." It might also be helpful to check out NOCD's support groups just to know you're not alone. ❤️ https://www.treatmyocd.com/support-groups

I feel the exact same way right now. I don’t know what to do either but just know you’re not alone.

I’m just hoping that therapy is going to work

Remember that you are not your I trusted thoughts. Ruminating on them is worse than having them! You cannot control your initial thoughts. You can control engagement with them ( I am learning). OCD is not who you are. And the content of the thoughts does not matter--nor does it indicate anything about you. I think the ONLY way to get over this is to go through this. Sit with the uncertainty and live your life! Let the thoughts come and let them be. Just notice them like a stranger on the street and assign no meaning to it. Just let it be. Be well, friend! We're in this together. We all struggle. And there is hope for us all.