- Username
- kittea
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Sounds like you’re suffering from rumination which is actually a compulsion. Here’s my favorite article on ruminating: https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/rumination-is-a-compulsion-not-an-obsession-and-that-means-you-have-to-stop/ You could also write out a script of the worst version of whatever it is you’re ruminating about and use it for ERP. For example, if you’re worried everything was all your fault, write out a script where it was, 100% for sure your fault and all the disastrous things that means. Then re read it 10x a day without performing compulsions (including rumination) during or after. Just let the anxiety the script causes be there and leave on its own when you’re ready. Treating your ocd will probably help make this breakup a lot easier. But also don’t forget to give yourself some self compassion here. It’s okay to feel crappy after a breakup. It’s okay to feel crappy because of ocd. You don’t have to get “better” on any particular timeline. Be kind to yourself the way you would a close friend who had their heart broken. My guess is you wouldn’t be telling them they’re stupid for feeling sad.
Hey, I've been through break ups that I'm sure ocd made harder. It's rough how hard it can be. What are the fears you have? Think the person above is spot on, breakups are gonna feel shit sometimes, and so is ocd. It's something I'm practicing too but the going over everything isn't getting you the answers you're hoping for. Maybe there's a way to practice sitting with uncertainty. Would depend on what the fears are, but could be like "maybe I could've done more, maybe I couldn't, I'm probably not going to find an answer". That'll feel terrible for a bit but it's the truth, sometimes relationships end and we won't always know why or if something would've helped
thank you both so much for your input and help 💕 for both of y’all—it’s very much a couple things 1. an uncertainty about whether or not we should’ve broken up (it was mutual) 2. an anger and frustration towards how he is treating the situation now when he says he wanted to stay friends, but is putting in 0 effort in doing so 3. feeling like i’ll never find anyone again as wonderful as him it’s just all really overwhelming and a lot. and because of how much he hurt me and how he’s just sweeping it under the rug makes me even more mad at him and worried i won’t be able to stay friends with him which just complicates a whole lot of things in life and in my brain.
Sounds like a lot of “what ifs” and a struggling with acceptance. - Maybe you made the right choice, maybe not. You actually don’t need to know with any more certainty than you already have. Stop trying to solve this. - Accept that the vision you had of your post-breakup friendship was wrong. It sucks and it hurts. You probably feel betrayed. But he’s made the decisions he has and you need to allow and respect the space he’s created. The only thing you CAN control here is how much effort you put into a friendship like this. - Again, maybe you will, maybe you won’t. You can’t and don’t need to know this with any more certainty than you already have. All three are also great opportunities for ERP scripts if you have experience doing them. - script about it being the wrong and worst decision. - script about him putting in no effort and losing him completely. - script about never finding anyone and dying alone. If you’ve heard of ACT, it could also be really helpful here in getting past your constant rumination and to a point of radical acceptance. I like this episode of The OCD Stories about ACT: https://theocdstories.com/episode/dr-patricia-zurita-ona-wise-moves-in-act-based-erp/
My boyfriend of almost two years just broke up with me. I’m hurting a lot and the ocd has skyrocketed because of it, especially since I haven’t been feeling the best already. I also always have a physical reaction to stress, and have been dealing with feeling sick all night. Does anyone have any tips or advice for how to deal with this?
I just went through my first breakup. My ex and I dated for almost 5 years and the breakup was mutual but it still hurts so much. I had ROCD throughout our entire relationship that I’m sure took a toll on us both but what led us to the end was completely separate—he hurt me in a way I couldn’t get past after it happening multiple times before. Even though the breakup was mutual and I know we need this to move forward either with or without one another, I am in so much pain. We both are still in love with the other and it’s making this breakup 10x harder because I am freaking out over whether or not I overreacted and I am throwing away something amazing just because of my ROCD sabotaging everything for us. It wasn’t the only issue but I guess I’m freaking out thinking it could’ve been the root of many of my frustrations. I just feel nauseous and depressed and exhausted (I can’t sleep). I guess I just need some guidance here. I have no idea how to navigate a breakup, let alone one where OCD is involved.
i had breakup nearly a year ago but i cudnt process or grieve my emotions as ocd was at its peak during that time. since then, ive always been occupied with ocd and the emotions of the breakup have been repressed. i really dont know how to release these trapped emotions. i want to move on but im scared that i might not move on and ocd wud act up. any advice?
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