- Username
- kittea
- Date posted
- 2y ago
- Username
- pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Sounds like you’re suffering from rumination which is actually a compulsion. Here’s my favorite article on ruminating: https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/rumination-is-a-compulsion-not-an-obsession-and-that-means-you-have-to-stop/ You could also write out a script of the worst version of whatever it is you’re ruminating about and use it for ERP. For example, if you’re worried everything was all your fault, write out a script where it was, 100% for sure your fault and all the disastrous things that means. Then re read it 10x a day without performing compulsions (including rumination) during or after. Just let the anxiety the script causes be there and leave on its own when you’re ready. Treating your ocd will probably help make this breakup a lot easier. But also don’t forget to give yourself some self compassion here. It’s okay to feel crappy after a breakup. It’s okay to feel crappy because of ocd. You don’t have to get “better” on any particular timeline. Be kind to yourself the way you would a close friend who had their heart broken. My guess is you wouldn’t be telling them they’re stupid for feeling sad.
- Username
- tomtom45tomtom45
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Hey, I've been through break ups that I'm sure ocd made harder. It's rough how hard it can be. What are the fears you have? Think the person above is spot on, breakups are gonna feel shit sometimes, and so is ocd. It's something I'm practicing too but the going over everything isn't getting you the answers you're hoping for. Maybe there's a way to practice sitting with uncertainty. Would depend on what the fears are, but could be like "maybe I could've done more, maybe I couldn't, I'm probably not going to find an answer". That'll feel terrible for a bit but it's the truth, sometimes relationships end and we won't always know why or if something would've helped
- Username
- kitteakittea
- Date posted
- 2y ago
thank you both so much for your input and help 💕 for both of y’all—it’s very much a couple things 1. an uncertainty about whether or not we should’ve broken up (it was mutual) 2. an anger and frustration towards how he is treating the situation now when he says he wanted to stay friends, but is putting in 0 effort in doing so 3. feeling like i’ll never find anyone again as wonderful as him it’s just all really overwhelming and a lot. and because of how much he hurt me and how he’s just sweeping it under the rug makes me even more mad at him and worried i won’t be able to stay friends with him which just complicates a whole lot of things in life and in my brain.
- Username
- pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Sounds like a lot of “what ifs” and a struggling with acceptance. - Maybe you made the right choice, maybe not. You actually don’t need to know with any more certainty than you already have. Stop trying to solve this. - Accept that the vision you had of your post-breakup friendship was wrong. It sucks and it hurts. You probably feel betrayed. But he’s made the decisions he has and you need to allow and respect the space he’s created. The only thing you CAN control here is how much effort you put into a friendship like this. - Again, maybe you will, maybe you won’t. You can’t and don’t need to know this with any more certainty than you already have. All three are also great opportunities for ERP scripts if you have experience doing them. - script about it being the wrong and worst decision. - script about him putting in no effort and losing him completely. - script about never finding anyone and dying alone. If you’ve heard of ACT, it could also be really helpful here in getting past your constant rumination and to a point of radical acceptance. I like this episode of The OCD Stories about ACT: https://theocdstories.com/episode/dr-patricia-zurita-ona-wise-moves-in-act-based-erp/
Related posts
- Username
- jordanpaulson
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My boyfriend recently broke up with me almost two months ago and it really hurts but I really can’t help but miss him. I haven’t talked to him in 2 weeks and I doubt he’ll ever reach out to talk to me soon. I loved him so much and I can’t even describe how much it hurts not having him in my life. Our relationship used to be really really great and then things fell apart. My anxiety and ocd keep convincing me these extreme hypotheticals like that he’s so much happier without me now even though I don’t have any reason to really think that. Or that he doesn’t miss me at all. My heart is just really hurting. I miss everything about him
- Username
- SophiaCalypso
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Saddness
I feel like OCD ruins so much. My boyfriend broke up with me because of it. It got to a point where I made him do compulsions (ex: open and close the door a certain amount of times). I have OCD in combination with PTSD so I would get triggers often. He got to a point where he got up and left me while I was at work and cut contact completely. I don’t know how to feel and I feel like a failure. It’s been two months and my OCD has been nonstop telling me I was an abuser or narcissistic and that’s why he left. Everyone tells me I’m a broken record… but they don’t know that this is torture for me, too. I wish I could start over with my ex, but I can’t, and that bothers my OCD, too. Lack of control. I also seem to have memory issues in that relationship, I can’t remember what happened or not, and I’m not sure if that’s part of my OCD.
- Username
- Ross Lyn
- Date posted
- 46w ago
Dealing with an ex who’s dating again
Dating with OCD was hard, but having broken up with OCD is even worse. I broke up with my ex after he ditched me at a party and accused me of cheating. (I never cheated, I wouldn’t flirt with another guy or cheat whatsoever). He was a consistent liar which I also didn’t like. We were on good terms for a while until two months after we broke up. He stopped talking to me and started pretending I don’t exist. I can’t avoid him because I have to see him everyday, unfortunately. He went out of his way to tell me he’s “seeing” someone. I struggle to let go with things and he was my best friend for two-ish years before we dated for a year. To watch him stop caring about me so quickly has made me miserable. I still care about him but it’s clear he doesn’t care about me. I keep crying and checking things over and over again. It feels uncontrollable. I don’t know how to make this stop. Or how to feel better. I feel so alone and I don’t know how to get over it.
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