Harm OCD help please! There’s been two news stories recently (one where I went to uni) where the boyfriend in a couple has killed the girl, possibly following a fight. Both cases are uni students, really similar lifestyles to me and it’s like, what if I do that? It’s really triggered my harm OCD like I’m desperate to know what happened, why it happened and how people can kill each other just like that because I’m so scared I’m going to do that one day. Does anyone else do that? The first case we know it was a ‘jealous rage’ that led him to kill her, but everyone gets jealous right? So how can that lead someone to kill another person? Thanks in advance :(

See, you’re doing a compulsion. The second you try to argue or figure out something in your theme, you’ve already lost. I’ve struggled with this theme and it was really hard to just go “i don’t know why people do that and i don’t care”, but it’s a very helpful phrase. The key is to have a grey area. You’re not going never be jealous, so if you’re jealous, that doesn’t mean you’re evil. I guess the key here is to disengage with it and separate yourself from your worry.

you sure? that sounds like a compulsion and ocd can eventually overcome the compulsions, making you feel worse. i’d recommend exposure response prevention. you won’t get past the worry if you don’t.

Thank you for this. I just am desperate to find out ‘why’ it happened, and this is with many violent news stories. Like was it because they were ill, or had a different life from me, and all of the stories are different so the ocd is different each time. How else do you cope? Thank you

oh, you’re not the only one. i did it too. that’s reassurance seeking so you can prove once and for all you wouldn’t do that sort of thing. don’t buy into it and disregard xx i’m actually over the theme and it’s all about not thinking about it and finding a grey area. for example if you avoid touching people because you’re worried about a bad thought, you’ll have to realise that normal people touch other people and they’re not evil. i’m not sure how to describe but basically it’s just, if you think a bad person would do something so you avoid doing it, that doesn’t help. it keeps the fear real, which it isn’t. if you’re worried that you did something because you’re “evil” don’t avoid that behaviour and continue about your day

ocd loves to tap into the mindset and find out why. you just have to break the cycle and be content with uncertainty

erp works for thoughts too. if you have the worry that you’re a bad person or ocd brings up your past, etc. just say “ok whatever”. it’s so difficult but it short circuits the anxiety response. also keep in mind you’re not relieved because you “realise you’re a bad person”, you’re relieved because you’re no longer fighting with yourself, no longer in danger. ocd has no rhyme or reason and functions how it would in ancient times. it’s a malfunctioning danger response. if you tell your mind it’s something to fear and avoid, your mind gives you panic and makes it feel real since it’s looking for any clue it could be real. if you’re not anxious, it won’t feel real anymore. if you find yourself tempted to check it you’re like that “just to make sure”, don’t. you’ll fall back in.

Thank you so much, here’s to saying whatever to OCD! That really helps, thank you

yeah! good luck <3

The fact you are worried and afraid of hurt anybody is the real prove you won't never do it. All parents have fears about harm their own children when they are babies, as human, is normal to have this kind of thoughts, the only difference is OCD will repeat this doubt until get an answer... and in that case, our answer is the compulsion of verifying what happened, so we can "controle" the situation. I recommend you what helped me: to reinforce positive thougts about yourself, feel securd bout who you are: a good person. I do an exercise based on saying to myself 3 good things about myself before going to bed... I hope it helps

Thank you! I have to keep reminding myself of this, I’m so desperate to find out why people hurt other people for example, I just have an answer so I need to just let it go? I like that idea, I’ll defo try it thank you

Okay thank you, but without avoiding it, how do I refrain my thought with things like violent crimes, cause Obvs I can’t (not want to) commit them. So how can I tell me ocd I don’t care when I can’t ‘expose’ myself to going on a jealous rage and killing someone for example, which is one of my main intrusive thoughts atm