Feeling severe depression and anxiety; seeking advice on coping strategies.

*venting* I’m so tired of life. I just woke up, and I feel like going back to bed and sleep until this nightmare passes. This week has been one of the hardest of my life. I don’t think I can face another day of intrusive thoughts, fear, anxiety. I need some moments of relief, but there are none. I wanna have a life again. Anxiety and obsessive thoughts have killed my social life, my ambitions and desires, my happiness. I’ve been fighting for the past 6 months for nothing. I don’t see any improvement. I’m on day 3 of Lexapro and of course i can’t tell if it’s gonna work for me or not. I’m on the first stages of ERP therapy and I still haven’t got any assigned homework to work on, which I really need because I need to feel like I’m doing SOMETHING to help myself with ocd and Gad. I just hope someone could just take out whatever part of my brain isn’t working properly and replace it with a new piece. I don’t wanna feel like a burden to my family or boyfriend anymore. I can’t believe all the damage that I’m causing. I don’t know what to do with all this self hate. I don’t know where to turn to. I seem to have all the help that one could need - therapy, medication, support system. Yet I feel like I can’t spend another day living like this.

I have never dealt with severe depression like this, I feel really hopeless and scared, I can't imagine a future out of all my mental health issues and I can't imagine being healthy and happy. The last 3/4 years I feel like I've done nothing but avoid things that are challenging and his at home every day because of my mental health and now it's all hitting me so hard that I'm so unhappy with my life and ick how to push through feeling so bad I can't even eat. I don’t even feel like I want to hurt myself but my will to live also feels so low. I hate feeling like I’m so trapped in a mental health cycle that nothing can break it

i haven’t been diganosed yet with anxiety or OCD yet but i’ve been having anxiety started in december having chest pains and it made me think i was having a heart attack or heart issues but last week i was talking to my cousin how he went through depersonalization/derealzation i didn’t know what it was until he told me about it because i experienced it but ever since last week on tuesday i’ve been having overthinking issues about being scared of death and having intrusive thoughts of “what if i hurt myself” when i don’t wanna do it and it scares me because i don’t wanna go through it and i’ve been really tired and exhausted because i just feel like i’m trapped with my anxiety and i never had this feeling before (i’ve been through a lot so this is why it could be happening randomly now) but my things i struggle with is my thoughts and constantly look stuff up. my dad says “oh ur having anxiety while ur overthinking the anxiety” and i always think i’m going insane or if this is even real. i was suppose to go to the doctor today my mom emailed a therapist and told her that she has to pay at the desk and i was so upset because i wanna get better eventually and get a therapist but i have to wait until next week i think to see if i can go to the doctor and see what they say and see what else they diganose me with. it’s just been so tough rn and school has been stressing me out a long with it and i’m so tired i just feel like it’s an everyday thing now and i feel like i’m going insane when people say “oh ur okay and ur not insane” then why do i not feel okay??