When you feel that you can be okay with your thought, but it feels like I’m accepting that I am like that and I want the thoughts, and then I start getting anxious about it bc I know that I don’t want any of these thoughts Can’t handle this anymore😓

Hey Julia! I definitely can relate to this sentiment. For me, understanding my personal values was integral to my recovery process. Listing out what I truly have valued over the years of my life, and charting them out on paper, helped me differentiate my intrusive thoughts from who I am. It's also important to note that this idea itself can be a thought spiral and a rumination compulsion. Answering these questions is OCD's sneaky way of getting you to continue compulsions which fill you with even more self-doubt. I would encourage you to watch these two videos by Nathan Peterson labelled "What if I like my thoughts?" and "Me or OCD?": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4NJGtvCAUY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4NJGtvCAUY Hope these resources are helpful and good luck in your recovery :)