Question

Hey guys I have rocd and I need advise or some words of encouragement When it comes to the feelings of oh I dont love my boyfriend even when I say I do it feels like im lying to myself and it makes me discouraged but I am too numb to fight it Its like my body doesn't want to accept I do Moments when I think oh I want to do something with my boyfriend my brain and feelings shut it down like oh its just going to turn into a routine or nothing he does will make you into him It just makes me depressed and numb because I love my boyfriend a lot, I could not imagine leaving him when I know all I want is him Sometimes my head tells me oh you are too young to have rocd (im 19) or there's always the grass greener on the other Side why settle But I love long term relationships and I want it with him, I chose to date him because it was something about him that was just different and I instantly connected with him We also been together for almost a year (anniversary on August 25) and sometimes my head tells me oh if you guys were together longer its rocd since a lot of people that are on the app I've seen had their relationship for years With anyone dealing with this and go through these episodes in recovery what is it that you do that helps you go forward with your partner and not feeling like giving up

Username: xenon xenon

Date posted: 2y ago

going through the same thing currently. i’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now and i love her but my rocd and hocd makes it say otherwise and it’s hard to argue against these thoughts to the point where i think there is validity to them. it’s sad since my thoughts tell me to break up with her even though i don’t want to.

Username: Chlo_alexisChlo_alexis

Date posted: 2y ago

@xenon Like Idk for me it’s come in forms of thoughts and like feelings in my chest like oh it’s definite you don’t But I know I do It’s just hard to fight off But I continue with my erp

Username: geochristinageochristina

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m exactly the same, thank you for sharing! I love my boyfriend so much, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, we have two cats and live together. But constantly my brain is like you don’t love him, nothing will make you interested in him, you’re a lesbian and there’s no feelings there. It’s hurts me and makes me so anxious 😢

Username: TillyyyxTillyyyx

Date posted: 2y ago

I really relate to you a great deal with everything you just said , I can imagine the uncomfortable pain in your chest and those anxiety knots in your stomach and the guilt about the doubts because I feel the same 90% of my waking life ! All I can say, is those thoughts ‘you’re too young to have OCD ‘ are ways to convince yourself that you don’t have OCD, because you can of course develop any type of OCD at any age. Try and think about it in a different perspective - why would you need to convince yourself you don’t have OCD? Could it be a possibility that you are scared of the love you have for your partner? That OCD is your way of sabotaging the relationship out of fear of abandonment/things not working out. That perhaps you don’t want to accept that you have OCD, because accepting it as ROCD would mean accepting that actually you love your partner. Subconsciously you may be in denial that you do love your partner because that’s too scary to admit ?

Username: Chlo_alexisChlo_alexis

Date posted: 2y ago

@Tillyyyx It’s like I don’t get pangs of anxiety anymore just this numb neutral feeling in my chest And like my head would tell me oh just admit you don’t or like my chest would too And it’s not true I love him more than anything I’m just exhausted with how annoying this is Like I am not gonna break up with him, he means too much to me

Username: TillyyyxTillyyyx

Date posted: 2y ago

I can’t really tell you that it gets easier or when it will stop because what you feel is exactly what I go through , but I will go through it and am always here to help you! My Snapchat is mathilde_youle if you have Snapchat and ever want to reach out 😊 I will say I’m in the same boat and regardless of how anxiety inducing this all is I’m not prepared to break up as we are getting married and starting a family together soon and deep down I do love him ridiculous amounts . So I will say treating love as an action instead of a feeling is very helpful especially when having ROCD, but like you I appreciate it’s not an easy thing to do when you feel like you’re constantly at war with your mind x

Username: Chlo_alexisChlo_alexis

Date posted: 2y ago

@Tillyyyx Hey I added you on snap

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@Tillyyyx Me too just now!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@Tillyyyx Also this gives me hope!

Username: TillyyyxTillyyyx

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous Added you back:) x

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

same! Good to know I’m not alone. I feel it in my chest too like I can’t even be around him sometimes. But this is the man I want even if there is better out there. I want to build with HIM.

Username: Butterfly_23

Date posted: 2y ago

ROCD

General statement/question for anyone who can possibly relate: I've been struggling with ROCD for about 3 months now, the typical "do I actually love him", "what if I don't and I'm just leading him on", "why don't I feel connected any more, this must mean something is wrong with us", "planning the future makes me anxious because we might break up"...the list goes on. I've been especially struggling these past few days. I want a big future with this man and I've never second guessed it until all these intrusive thoughts have come into my life with a bang. I hate them. I feel so emotionally drained and incapable of enjoying the moments I have with him because I'm constantly thinking about the things missing. The fact I struggle to stay present. As we all probably know the age old reassurance after an anxiety inducing thought- I do this fairly often, googling my thoughts and why I'm feeling this way. I am so beyond exhausted. I know I want to marry this man and a future with him isn't scary, it's just significant moments that trigger me and suddenly I'm spiring into the OCD cycle again. I just want to know other people feel the same? I've been feeling so flat and disconnected from everyone, especially him which breaks my heart. I know I love him, so deeply - even writing that my brain said "are you sure you do?". I just want to see if other people experience ROCD similar to me. Thanks

Relationship OCD

Username: peachy!

Date posted: 1y ago

having trouble with rocd

hi! I'm really struggling with rocd right now. I have a boyfriend that I'm very in love with, and havent doubted that until now. I've been struggling with what I think is derealization, which has caused myself to feel distant from him, and like he isnt actually my boyfriend. because of this, I now I keep getting repetitive intrusive thoughts that I dont love him, and that I never loved him, and that I don't even know him. its terrifying. I've told him about this, and hes very supportive. he knows I still love him, and just wants to help me. but I'm so terrified of these thoughts to the point of almost believing them. if anyone else has struggled with this, how do you cope? I've been trying to reassure myself of my memories of him, and looking at things I do currently that show I still have love for him, but I would love some other ideas since it's still hard to convince myself. thank u!!

Relationship OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Rocd

I’ve been in my relationship for almost 9 years and I’ve been married to him for one year. I love him so much, he is such a great man so patient and caring and kind. And I’m very lucky to have him honestly I feel like it’s really hard for people to find someone they love so much they are willing to do anything for that person even though they may get on your nerves sometimes. But unfortunately I’ve been experiencing rocd I’ve been doubting how I really feel about him, if I actually love him, if I love him “enough” rather I want to be with him, I’ve been questioning what if I end up liking someone else? What if I do like someone else? What if he isn’t enough? What if that’s why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling? Feeling guilty at the same time because I feel like he deserves the world, and I feel like I’m letting him down (although he has been super supportive) I feel like I’m not giving him what he deserves. And it’s been an ongoing anxious feeling like a ball of fear in my stomach crying asking god why, having panic attacks and constantly fearing the worst possible outcome. All I want is to be able to be happy again and sit with him and live our lives happily and forget that this ever happened but it feels impossible. It’s like I know I love him and that I want to be with him but I can’t get these thoughts to go away. And the thought of “you’ve been with him for so long if it was actually ocd this would’ve happened awhile ago” keep getting to me or feeling like what if it’s not ocd? What if this is actually how I feel and if it is then how can I move forward with him? I don’t like talking about how I feel much besides to him and my closest friends, and it’s really hard for me to fully open up but I want to be able to share how I’ve been feeling so that maybe someone on here can feel not so alone. Everything I look up for rocd it happens a lot earlier within the relationship and everyone has their version of it. And it’s hard to find people that just start experiencing it way later in their relationship so I really do hope that someone that is going through the same thing sees this and just knows their not alone and I really hope I don’t trigger anyone else. This is something that is awful dealing with it’s like living in your personal hell. It’s by far one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with, I’ve been feeling so exhausted and drained today. I’ve been very sad and just very gloomy today (I also deal with depression) and I have tried everything to make me feel better but it’s just one of those days. Everyone stay safe and you’re not alone, I really hope that each of you overcome your ocd for the better.

Relationship OCD

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