- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I can really relate to this too. The longer the obsessions go on the more pathways it creates for the OCD to attack and make you question it’s a never ending cycle until you question everything endlessly. For me, I spent so long pining over my ex over like 3 years who I really felt I was obsessed with and loved so much (OCD has made me doubt this too even though I was absolutely distraught when we broke up) and we recently reconnected a few months ago and my OCD is making it so hard. Chasing that feeling of attraction and love is so damaging and makes you push them away when they are so loving. Him finding ME so attractive which he voices all the time I used to absolutely adore and now it just reminds me of the way I don’t feel because the OCD has taken my ability away for any constant feelings (apart from anxiety). I suppose all we can do is move forward guys, I think we’re all so strong honestly I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and it’s a credit to how much we care ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
@ziggster!23 YES I constantly chase the love and attraction and not feeling it makes my heart shatter so much which is ironic and it’s likely a testament to our true feelings. I hate feeling like I can’t give him the same love even though I know it’s there and it’s what pushes me to fight and be a better person for myself and for him. We have to believe that the choice to love who we want is ours.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I can relate to this and mix these two in with postpartum OCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@Millerbm Thank you for sharing, I’m sorry you’re going through this as well and I can only imagine how difficult post partum ocd is but I’m glad we’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 3y
This is so relatable and well written, thank you for being open and vulnerable. Your post summed up a lot of things I experience since I‘ve been recovering from ocd and didn’t know how to put into words.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Heleni Thank you all, truly I’ve felt so alone lately in this aspect because to others it may seem like I’m in a normal questioning or outgrowing phase but deep down I understand this anxiety and fear stems from my obsessive and intrusive thoughts. I’ve grown so accustomed to them that they’ve attached themselves to normal aspects of my life and make my mind see everything as a sign to run away. I don’t know what it’s like to feel confident in what I want anymore, but I’m doing my absolute best to believe I can have what I want. Love and strength to you all❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I can relate too. What with the strain the pandemic put on our relationship a month after we met to me dealing with trauma from a previous relationship, now OCD strong in recent months, I sometimes feel so sad about the whole thing and like we can never catch a break and I can just feel happy in this relationship. But the despairing and feeling down about it gets me nowhere. I'm slowly learning to accept this is our situation and stop wishing it was something different. It's helping me focus on the good that is there and find some hope for the future.
- Date posted
- 3y
@ada110 I relate to you as well, I had only been dating my boyfriend for 3 months when covid first hit and that’s where my ocd really developed into something serious. But you’re right, there’s nothing we can do to change how we feel while we recover from the effects of the constant questioning and anxiety. I think slowly it comes and goes for me some days I’m at peace with it and other days I can’t handle the idea of losing this but I hope with time we can fully accept and heal. ❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus Me too. Thanks for your understanding. We're not alone. Hope things feel better for you.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
- Date posted
- 17w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 16w
Hi everyone. I’m really struggling and I need to let it all out. I’ve been dealing with ROCD (or what I think is ROCD) for a long time, and I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I’m in a loving relationship with a boyfriend who is kind, understanding, and patient. But ever since I started reading a lot online, googling symptoms, talking to AI like ChatGPT, searching for reassurance, things have gotten worse and worse. And now… I feel completely disconnected from my feelings. I don’t know what’s real anymore. My boyfriend told me that he believes I’ve convinced myself that I have something that needs to be treated, and that all this constant researching is making me feel worse. And honestly, I think he’s right. Before I fell into this cycle, I could be more intimate with him. I used to say “I love you,” I used to feel warmth. Now I don’t say it anymore. I haven’t in a long time. And it hurts him. And I know I’m hurting him, and that makes it even worse. He also said that maybe I’m having these obsessive thoughts because I don’t have a daily purpose, that I need to get occupied, to stop being consumed by this. And others in my life have told me the same. He even suggested taking a break from each other for a week, just to give me space. But I’m terrified of that. I’m scared that the thing I fear most will become “the truth.” I’m scared I’ll feel relief, and that will mean everything I fear is real. But he told me that if I don’t want the break, maybe it means I still care. Still love. Still want this. The problem is, I don’t know anymore. And that’s what’s killing me. I’ve also had a psychologist who told me that just because I feel guilt or “care,” it doesn’t necessarily mean I like him — and that sent me spiraling. She said that maybe I care about people in general, but it doesn’t mean I love him. And it made me feel like I’m just lying to myself. That maybe I’m holding on out of obligation, or because I set in my head that I “have to be with him.” And even when he tells me beautiful things — logical things — things that SHOULD make me feel safe and seen… I don’t feel better. I just feel more empty. And then I start spiraling again: “If this doesn’t help me feel better, then something must be wrong.” “What if I’m just pretending?” “What if I’ve been lying to myself all along?” I feel like there’s something wrong inside of me. Like no matter what anyone says, or how much love I’m given, I can’t feel it. I just want to know what to do. I want someone to tell me what this is. I want to stop feeling like I’m running after a version of myself that used to feel, used to love, used to be calm. I don’t know if this is ROCD or if I’m just slowly facing a truth I’ve been afraid to accept. Please, if anyone has felt this way, I need to hear that I’m not alone. And if you’ve come out the other side… how? My relationship is perfect and he is perfect, i just deal with this and i am far from happy.
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