- Date posted
- 2y ago
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I can really relate to this too. The longer the obsessions go on the more pathways it creates for the OCD to attack and make you question it’s a never ending cycle until you question everything endlessly. For me, I spent so long pining over my ex over like 3 years who I really felt I was obsessed with and loved so much (OCD has made me doubt this too even though I was absolutely distraught when we broke up) and we recently reconnected a few months ago and my OCD is making it so hard. Chasing that feeling of attraction and love is so damaging and makes you push them away when they are so loving. Him finding ME so attractive which he voices all the time I used to absolutely adore and now it just reminds me of the way I don’t feel because the OCD has taken my ability away for any constant feelings (apart from anxiety). I suppose all we can do is move forward guys, I think we’re all so strong honestly I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and it’s a credit to how much we care ❤️
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@ziggster!23 YES I constantly chase the love and attraction and not feeling it makes my heart shatter so much which is ironic and it’s likely a testament to our true feelings. I hate feeling like I can’t give him the same love even though I know it’s there and it’s what pushes me to fight and be a better person for myself and for him. We have to believe that the choice to love who we want is ours.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I can relate to this and mix these two in with postpartum OCD
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Millerbm Thank you for sharing, I’m sorry you’re going through this as well and I can only imagine how difficult post partum ocd is but I’m glad we’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
This is so relatable and well written, thank you for being open and vulnerable. Your post summed up a lot of things I experience since I‘ve been recovering from ocd and didn’t know how to put into words.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Heleni Thank you all, truly I’ve felt so alone lately in this aspect because to others it may seem like I’m in a normal questioning or outgrowing phase but deep down I understand this anxiety and fear stems from my obsessive and intrusive thoughts. I’ve grown so accustomed to them that they’ve attached themselves to normal aspects of my life and make my mind see everything as a sign to run away. I don’t know what it’s like to feel confident in what I want anymore, but I’m doing my absolute best to believe I can have what I want. Love and strength to you all❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I can relate too. What with the strain the pandemic put on our relationship a month after we met to me dealing with trauma from a previous relationship, now OCD strong in recent months, I sometimes feel so sad about the whole thing and like we can never catch a break and I can just feel happy in this relationship. But the despairing and feeling down about it gets me nowhere. I'm slowly learning to accept this is our situation and stop wishing it was something different. It's helping me focus on the good that is there and find some hope for the future.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@ada110 I relate to you as well, I had only been dating my boyfriend for 3 months when covid first hit and that’s where my ocd really developed into something serious. But you’re right, there’s nothing we can do to change how we feel while we recover from the effects of the constant questioning and anxiety. I think slowly it comes and goes for me some days I’m at peace with it and other days I can’t handle the idea of losing this but I hope with time we can fully accept and heal. ❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@PinkLotus Me too. Thanks for your understanding. We're not alone. Hope things feel better for you.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w ago
Hi everyone, I wanted to reach out to see if anyone else has experienced something similar with OCD and intrusive thoughts. I’ve been struggling during moments of intimacy because intrusive thoughts, particularly ones related to POCD, feel so ‘sticky’—like they’re all I can picture. Even though I really want the thoughts to go away, they persist, and I’ve been trying not to avoid intimacy because of them. However, that makes me feel like I’m somehow ‘enjoying’ the thoughts or images, which I really dislike. It’s like my brain is playing this awful trick, and it’s leaving me feeling confused and gross. I guess I’m supposed to not let the thoughts bother me and continue as if nothing’s wrong, but I’m scared that by doing so, I’m almost training myself to get off to them or something. This fear makes it so hard to trust myself in those moments, and it’s been overwhelming. If anyone else has been through this, how do you handle it?
- Date posted
- 10w ago
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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