- Date posted
- 2y
- Date posted
- 2y
I can really relate to this too. The longer the obsessions go on the more pathways it creates for the OCD to attack and make you question it’s a never ending cycle until you question everything endlessly. For me, I spent so long pining over my ex over like 3 years who I really felt I was obsessed with and loved so much (OCD has made me doubt this too even though I was absolutely distraught when we broke up) and we recently reconnected a few months ago and my OCD is making it so hard. Chasing that feeling of attraction and love is so damaging and makes you push them away when they are so loving. Him finding ME so attractive which he voices all the time I used to absolutely adore and now it just reminds me of the way I don’t feel because the OCD has taken my ability away for any constant feelings (apart from anxiety). I suppose all we can do is move forward guys, I think we’re all so strong honestly I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and it’s a credit to how much we care ❤️
- Date posted
- 2y
@ziggster!23 YES I constantly chase the love and attraction and not feeling it makes my heart shatter so much which is ironic and it’s likely a testament to our true feelings. I hate feeling like I can’t give him the same love even though I know it’s there and it’s what pushes me to fight and be a better person for myself and for him. We have to believe that the choice to love who we want is ours.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
I can relate to this and mix these two in with postpartum OCD
- Date posted
- 2y
@Millerbm Thank you for sharing, I’m sorry you’re going through this as well and I can only imagine how difficult post partum ocd is but I’m glad we’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 2y
This is so relatable and well written, thank you for being open and vulnerable. Your post summed up a lot of things I experience since I‘ve been recovering from ocd and didn’t know how to put into words.
- Date posted
- 2y
@Heleni Thank you all, truly I’ve felt so alone lately in this aspect because to others it may seem like I’m in a normal questioning or outgrowing phase but deep down I understand this anxiety and fear stems from my obsessive and intrusive thoughts. I’ve grown so accustomed to them that they’ve attached themselves to normal aspects of my life and make my mind see everything as a sign to run away. I don’t know what it’s like to feel confident in what I want anymore, but I’m doing my absolute best to believe I can have what I want. Love and strength to you all❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
I can relate too. What with the strain the pandemic put on our relationship a month after we met to me dealing with trauma from a previous relationship, now OCD strong in recent months, I sometimes feel so sad about the whole thing and like we can never catch a break and I can just feel happy in this relationship. But the despairing and feeling down about it gets me nowhere. I'm slowly learning to accept this is our situation and stop wishing it was something different. It's helping me focus on the good that is there and find some hope for the future.
- Date posted
- 2y
@ada110 I relate to you as well, I had only been dating my boyfriend for 3 months when covid first hit and that’s where my ocd really developed into something serious. But you’re right, there’s nothing we can do to change how we feel while we recover from the effects of the constant questioning and anxiety. I think slowly it comes and goes for me some days I’m at peace with it and other days I can’t handle the idea of losing this but I hope with time we can fully accept and heal. ❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@PinkLotus Me too. Thanks for your understanding. We're not alone. Hope things feel better for you.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
- Date posted
- 22w
I don’t understand how my boyfriend can love me so much after everything I put him through. He constantly shows me how much he loves me, yet I feel like I can’t fully appreciate it. I can’t explain how badly I behave towards him when these thoughts take over, how often I lash out because of them, and how many times I’ve told him exactly what’s on my mind. He tries to use logic to help me, but it never seems to work. And now, even as I’m writing this, I feel like crying—yet at the same time, my mind tells me that I don’t care. This horrible feeling inside me won’t go away. I keep thinking, “What if I don’t like him?” That thought is always there. I wonder if I had unrealistic expectations about this relationship from the beginning, since he is my first boyfriend. What if I convinced myself I liked him just because I wanted my first relationship to be perfect? And now, I just can’t accept the truth? It scares me even more knowing that he moved to my city for me. I feel like I’m constantly upset, constantly sad. And despite everything, he’s always there for me. That makes me feel even worse because I don’t know what to do to feel okay again. Every time I talk to him, I get this strange feeling inside me, and I’m terrified that it means my thoughts are actually true. He tells me that my happiness shouldn’t depend only on him, that I should focus on more than just this relationship—because for over a year now, my mind has been stuck in an endless loop of questioning whether I love him or not. He asks me, “Who are you fighting? Why do you care so much? You’ve been asking yourself the same question for over a year—shouldn’t you know the answer by now?” And my response is always, “Because I want to be with you.” But then, when I try to answer whether I like him or not, more doubts take over. I start thinking, “Maybe I just can’t accept that I don’t love him. Maybe I just want to keep this relationship perfect.” The worst part is that he has never done anything wrong. He has always been patient, kind, and loving, yet I feel so lost. I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t understand what I feel. And I don’t understand why I can’t understand what I feel. He also tells me that ever since I started reading so much about relationships and OCD online, I have gotten worse. And he’s right. I have become much worse than I was before. The problem is that before, I thought I was at my worst, but looking back, I was still able to feel happiness at times. Now, I feel completely stuck. I don’t know if I’m crying because I hate this feeling, or because I don’t want to think this way about him. It feels like I don’t even know what’s happening to me anymore.
- Date posted
- 16w
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
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