- Date posted
- 2y ago
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I can really relate to this too. The longer the obsessions go on the more pathways it creates for the OCD to attack and make you question it’s a never ending cycle until you question everything endlessly. For me, I spent so long pining over my ex over like 3 years who I really felt I was obsessed with and loved so much (OCD has made me doubt this too even though I was absolutely distraught when we broke up) and we recently reconnected a few months ago and my OCD is making it so hard. Chasing that feeling of attraction and love is so damaging and makes you push them away when they are so loving. Him finding ME so attractive which he voices all the time I used to absolutely adore and now it just reminds me of the way I don’t feel because the OCD has taken my ability away for any constant feelings (apart from anxiety). I suppose all we can do is move forward guys, I think we’re all so strong honestly I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and it’s a credit to how much we care ❤️
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@ziggster!23 YES I constantly chase the love and attraction and not feeling it makes my heart shatter so much which is ironic and it’s likely a testament to our true feelings. I hate feeling like I can’t give him the same love even though I know it’s there and it’s what pushes me to fight and be a better person for myself and for him. We have to believe that the choice to love who we want is ours.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I can relate to this and mix these two in with postpartum OCD
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Millerbm Thank you for sharing, I’m sorry you’re going through this as well and I can only imagine how difficult post partum ocd is but I’m glad we’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
This is so relatable and well written, thank you for being open and vulnerable. Your post summed up a lot of things I experience since I‘ve been recovering from ocd and didn’t know how to put into words.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Heleni Thank you all, truly I’ve felt so alone lately in this aspect because to others it may seem like I’m in a normal questioning or outgrowing phase but deep down I understand this anxiety and fear stems from my obsessive and intrusive thoughts. I’ve grown so accustomed to them that they’ve attached themselves to normal aspects of my life and make my mind see everything as a sign to run away. I don’t know what it’s like to feel confident in what I want anymore, but I’m doing my absolute best to believe I can have what I want. Love and strength to you all❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I can relate too. What with the strain the pandemic put on our relationship a month after we met to me dealing with trauma from a previous relationship, now OCD strong in recent months, I sometimes feel so sad about the whole thing and like we can never catch a break and I can just feel happy in this relationship. But the despairing and feeling down about it gets me nowhere. I'm slowly learning to accept this is our situation and stop wishing it was something different. It's helping me focus on the good that is there and find some hope for the future.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@ada110 I relate to you as well, I had only been dating my boyfriend for 3 months when covid first hit and that’s where my ocd really developed into something serious. But you’re right, there’s nothing we can do to change how we feel while we recover from the effects of the constant questioning and anxiety. I think slowly it comes and goes for me some days I’m at peace with it and other days I can’t handle the idea of losing this but I hope with time we can fully accept and heal. ❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@PinkLotus Me too. Thanks for your understanding. We're not alone. Hope things feel better for you.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w ago
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond