- Date posted
- 2y
- Date posted
- 2y
I can really relate to this too. The longer the obsessions go on the more pathways it creates for the OCD to attack and make you question it’s a never ending cycle until you question everything endlessly. For me, I spent so long pining over my ex over like 3 years who I really felt I was obsessed with and loved so much (OCD has made me doubt this too even though I was absolutely distraught when we broke up) and we recently reconnected a few months ago and my OCD is making it so hard. Chasing that feeling of attraction and love is so damaging and makes you push them away when they are so loving. Him finding ME so attractive which he voices all the time I used to absolutely adore and now it just reminds me of the way I don’t feel because the OCD has taken my ability away for any constant feelings (apart from anxiety). I suppose all we can do is move forward guys, I think we’re all so strong honestly I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and it’s a credit to how much we care ❤️
- Date posted
- 2y
@ziggster!23 YES I constantly chase the love and attraction and not feeling it makes my heart shatter so much which is ironic and it’s likely a testament to our true feelings. I hate feeling like I can’t give him the same love even though I know it’s there and it’s what pushes me to fight and be a better person for myself and for him. We have to believe that the choice to love who we want is ours.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
I can relate to this and mix these two in with postpartum OCD
- Date posted
- 2y
@Millerbm Thank you for sharing, I’m sorry you’re going through this as well and I can only imagine how difficult post partum ocd is but I’m glad we’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 2y
This is so relatable and well written, thank you for being open and vulnerable. Your post summed up a lot of things I experience since I‘ve been recovering from ocd and didn’t know how to put into words.
- Date posted
- 2y
@Heleni Thank you all, truly I’ve felt so alone lately in this aspect because to others it may seem like I’m in a normal questioning or outgrowing phase but deep down I understand this anxiety and fear stems from my obsessive and intrusive thoughts. I’ve grown so accustomed to them that they’ve attached themselves to normal aspects of my life and make my mind see everything as a sign to run away. I don’t know what it’s like to feel confident in what I want anymore, but I’m doing my absolute best to believe I can have what I want. Love and strength to you all❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
I can relate too. What with the strain the pandemic put on our relationship a month after we met to me dealing with trauma from a previous relationship, now OCD strong in recent months, I sometimes feel so sad about the whole thing and like we can never catch a break and I can just feel happy in this relationship. But the despairing and feeling down about it gets me nowhere. I'm slowly learning to accept this is our situation and stop wishing it was something different. It's helping me focus on the good that is there and find some hope for the future.
- Date posted
- 2y
@ada110 I relate to you as well, I had only been dating my boyfriend for 3 months when covid first hit and that’s where my ocd really developed into something serious. But you’re right, there’s nothing we can do to change how we feel while we recover from the effects of the constant questioning and anxiety. I think slowly it comes and goes for me some days I’m at peace with it and other days I can’t handle the idea of losing this but I hope with time we can fully accept and heal. ❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@PinkLotus Me too. Thanks for your understanding. We're not alone. Hope things feel better for you.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
- Date posted
- 10w
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
- Date posted
- 6w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond