- Username
- Ibtissam
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sure
We know what it means to have OCD and would be happy to talk with you!
Yeah, I know that shit with the triggers pretty well :/. I have sometimes foothurts, then I walk barefoot without socks ? (it feels great ^^). When I get triggered, I only think about losing control and try to regain control. I pissed of about OCD and want to destroy something. It‘s more anger than sadness. I felt last time sadness I was 7 or 10. Then it was self-pity and anger. Why you can’t afford specialist? Doesn’t pay your health insurance? I know a site we’re you can speak with others, who suffer from OCD. The name of the site is psychforums. I the moment I think I suffer from ocd about couples and love. I see a couple and I become pissed of (my version of sadness). They are everywhere I look, aahhh it’s horrible. Idk that I am in love. I hear love songs, cause I like the melody and sound. I chill often with a stoner girl, I really like. She’s great and with her I had great and bad times. Before long time...we‘re drunk and accidentally we messed around (I kissed her first and later she kissed me back). She’s engaged and borderline (so when I would be with her, it would be a horrible relationship, cause I lack empathy). Another problem is that I am physically her type and she is mine. I often attract BDP and ASPD girls (I don’t know why ? but, they are often really hot ?). I have also a porn and sex-addiction. Are you a girl (it would explain the heart)?
It’s interesting. No one can friendzone me, cause when it goes to emotional part, I withdraw ? (it’s automatic behavior)
No Problem, that’s good. Shit that sounds bad :/. Why don’t your insurance pay? It’s a great site, it helps me too. I thought that. My father is a possible sociopath. He tried to destroy my self-esteem and said me many times I‘m dumb as shit. He abused me. I had a specialist and she said it‘s OCD (in behavior and thoughts).
No Problem. Sure. As a child it was only ocd behavior and fear to die on cancer, aids and other diseases. When I was ten I had a relationship with a girl I really liked. Then came the thoughts of homosexuality and I am in real life gay and wouldn’t accept it. In the most perfect time, I broke up with her (so she don’t think I am gay). She wanted that I kissed her, but I had big problems with touches. So I became nerves and broke up. At the time I break up, I know I liked girls, so I wanted her back. The relationship didn’t worked cause she said she need to move back at home (a long distance relationship never works), so I break up. That time I had a best friend we had many similarities and understood us well, I became afraid to fall in love with my best friend. I spoke with him about I don’t know if I really like girls and he said: „dude, you had a relationship with her and really liked her. You are not gay!“ that calm me down and the thoughts went away. At the same time I had thoughts about transsexual. Before OCD I never became nerves with other boys. When I was 14 I had many girls who had a crush on me and I only thought about that I can’t have a relationship cause I‘m gay and don’t like girls. I was sexually attracted to them, but I thought I only persuade it. I was interested in four girls, who were really hot. That hot chick in my class, was interested in me too, but I thoughts it wouldn’t function, cause I‘m gay. She touched me many times and touched my beck with her big breasts ( I had an erection). I was not that type of guy, who said: „Damn look at that fat ass or I want to swim in her breasts“. I had more respect from girls and didn’t care if they like me or not. If they said: „You are not my type, “. I said: „Okey, you also aren‘t my type or I don’t care“ and sometimes I just walked away. Later all girls in the school asked me, if I am gay and others said I said them. I was so pissed of and ignored every girl that time. Some of my school-mates showed me a porn and I began to watching it, every time. When I watched porn, I showed more interest in girls, so they stopped to call me gay. After three years I became addicted by it. At the same school was that cool and beautiful girl I really liked. Her voice, her personality, her intelligence. I was so turned on from her. I was 17 and she was 19 and so hot. That also was a time I know I wasn’t gay. I ask me, were she is now and if she is that great like the time before ? I really like others girls, when I was seven I had a crush on a girl who was 14 and she said me: „When you are ten years older call me“ with the number. At 2017 I went in a mental hospital cause of HOCD and they diagnosed me with OCD. Now I don’t care If I am gay, bi or everything others. I see a possibility as bisexual, but I would say, if I am really bisexual I feel most of the time 95% and 5% boys. I tend more to straight. I have this obsessions too, but they change pretty fast. I had a obsession with IQ, cause in School they said I have an IQ of 78. What really is bullshit. I doubted very much about the result and read everything about IQ and IQ-Tests. I try to find the reasons for the low IQ and went to child abuse, to depression, to low oxygen in the brain. I wanted to throw all my scientific books away, cause I thought I was to dumb to understand it. I follow the family tree of my parents and the intelligence in there family. My parents are both intellectuals and readed a lot of books. After my investigations I saw my parents have both genetics for highly intelligence and antisocial behavior. That’s the point I realized my parents are sociopathic and will never love me from there heart and that I show many traits for highly intelligent teenagers. Later I was tested again and the results showed that I am highly intelligent. I am 21. May I ask what your thoughts are?
It helps you in stressful situations
We can be your friends
Totally
Thank you for sharing your struggles some how i feel better, no it doesn’t cover my insurance,i will search about that site ,and yes i am a girl and i love emoji some how give life to the chat , do you have family issues cause from my experience that drag you to the drama i have my pice of the pain you know it just long story , so do you see specialist what he recommends? And what type of OCD you have?
But sociopaths aren’t abusive, so I don’t know.
I am sorry for that , i never get diagnosed by specialist , my ocd is all about thoughts in my head and walking around to figure out these thoughts, it is been 2 years since I realized i had it i am in the edge i can feel it i think we share the same type of ocd can you talk about yours more ? Mine would be about any thought then it will stick in my mind months , i had one thought i obsessed about it for almost a year can you imagine?! How old are you by the way ? I am 25
The thing is I never diagnosed by specialist as I mentioned before but i feel my OCD is always related to relationships , and what makes me think that i most have something going wrong in mind is walking around wondering even if I talk to someone close to me and i felt better leave this thing to the time, it is like my mind always think in ring loop that I struggled breaking away from it ,even if i have nothing to do about the subject my mind still anxious about it , i felt i need help with how my mind function and how to brush away the thoughts that I cannot control , and that was not a surprise for me cause i can see allot of my family members have it like six of them , and non of them realize it , and one of them is my mom , which makes me think she past it a way for us ,she still a live.
It was horrible. I tested myself in the internet, if I was gay. Someone said all the signs for homosexuality and I thought I had all. I wanted to die and thought that’s the end, I was sad cause I thought I‘ll never like girls and only boys forever. I said it to my caregivers I thought I was homosexual, but don’t want to have experience. They recommended that I go to a mental hospital. There I got the diagnosis for OCD and the psychologist said, when the thoughts come back, just accept them and say yourself that you are gay. I did that and the interests in Girls came back, stronger and stronger. Before that I founded my thoughts about myself and looked at girls to show me I like them. When we was in vacation my father said to me: „Look, if you were really gay, you would like to be with this muscular men together and not the girls there“. I looked at the girls and realized I didn’t like them, likewise the muscular guys, but I saw immediately that attractive girl who was a Waitress and realized I like girls. I don’t think that I scare relationships, but I have definitely problems to create these. At the same time I have problems to be touched (a psychologist wrote that It‘s possible, I was sexually abused), but when I asked my psychologist if they think I could have PTSD, they said no, cause I never felt traumatized and don’t behave like someone with PTSD. I don’t have medicine or a appointment. Sure. Is Snapchat for you okay?
It helps you a lot if you ignore or accept your thoughts.
You need to try accepting or ignoring them, really. Sure
No, I don’t have a relationship, but I would be interested who It would be. I let everything to come on me. I don’t know why it triggers me, cause I don’t care what others think about me. It’s hard to explain.
*how it would be
No, Problem. I was so irritated ? when I readed: „I want you and I hope you don’t mind...“
I hope it works for you. Not anxious, but when I think I need help. It helps me, that it becomes better and it’s only OCD. Yoga can help you a lot with the anxiety.
What’s your Snapchat acc?
What do you like most about the SOS feature?
Yeah I agree! That’s good you’re also using the SOS feature to help you through stressful ocd situations
And about the acc is there a way i can send it privately?
Are you in ocd Group or something? i am planning to join one if there any , cause i feel sharing and involving help what do you think?
That sounds great! You need to control it. Sure. Snapchat is to chat and send pics in your contacts. I use it, mostly to chat. No
Thank you ,so today i come cross something that triggered me what make me sad that i tried to avoid it for month off course i did compulsive which is walking for 5 hours my foot hearts and my eyes full of tears simply because i just felt that months avoiding this trigger did nothing yes i felt less anxious and i was not nervous i had feelings that i am going to be all right and i had my self but still sad I waisted this hours and much more , I cannot afford specialist the money,the transition, I don’t have a supporting family, I tried better help the doctor just didn’t care to help just wanted me to stay in the app .... any way thanks guys really I need your kindness ?
Thank you for sharing your story with me really, So when you having ocd about being gay what you did about it ? Did you walk around wondering or talk to yourself allot or what ? What you are saying is so interesting i feel like you’re more afraid to have a relationship that will hearts you later more than an OCD but if you diagnosed by specialist i am sure they know better , and a want to know do yo have medicine or do you have weekly appointments with therapist or what? And by the way can we talk in any social media app cause I would love to have long friendly conversation with you about ocd if that’s ok if not we can still talk here
And I only told one of my trusted friends about it , no one knows, let’s say I don’t have the nerve to talk about it or maybe i want to get diagnosed by specialist first .
To day my thoughts were strong i did allot of walking,the bright side that I tried to talk to my friend and chat here before that it didn’t stop me from walking and thinking but my anxiety was down which is good , i need to find a way to stop waisting time walking around and thinking, I hope i will figure a way , Sure snapchat is ok ,but to be clear we gonna chat more than snapping there cause i really wanna talk about ocd i think it is helpful to address things
I want you and i hope you don’t mind,so what about your relationship with girls since you addressed that is an ocd and you like girls are you in relationship or planning to have one I think that will trigger your ocd what you think?
To ask you *
Sorry spelling mistakes case i am laying i am to tired from walking earlier
I hope it will works with you . I don’t know ether but i can imagine who can ocd make things triggers for us ,all we can do is tray snd make it works I guess
How*
I am traying to have online support peer wish me luck
So do you use the app when your anxious ,how it is helping you? Me whenever i feel like i am about to walk and cannot resist it i work an the sos choice and try to calm down my anxiety and walk for less hours ,I achieve the anxiety goal but the rest still working on them
Yeah that was like a hit line , when i read what I wrote i was like shit ?, yes yoga i tried it but i am trying to do it regularly to get the benefits.
Yes it is very helpful i have to say when i am very anxious it helped me calm down but it didn’t prevent me from doing the composite which-is for me walking around thinking about the thing i am anxious about
What are you talking about when you say “send privately”?
Ibtissam I have now founded a group. Do you wanna join their. Everyone who want to join the group share your snapacc.
Would love to make a friend in here someone I can talk too away from the app, possibly a harm ocd sufferer?
I am having a hard time today. I struggle with ocd especially over Christianity. I feel so alone because I've annoyed everyone in my family about it that they don't want me to bring it up anymore. I just want someone to talk to, another Christian to talk to who knows what I'm talking about.
So, I really like helping others, and in the future I would like to become a psychologist ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ I have a lot of knowledge about OCD And I struggle with this myself, mainly with ROCD, but also with POCD, Suicidal OCD and Somatic OCD I am empathetic, if anyone needs help with POCD, Harm OCD, ROCD (if it is not really developed) Come with this to me, i wont let anyone alone <3
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