- Date posted
- 3y
I feel confused
If I let the anxiety run its course, I'm supposed to feel relief right? But if I'm compulsing I also feel a form of release, do they feel different?
If I let the anxiety run its course, I'm supposed to feel relief right? But if I'm compulsing I also feel a form of release, do they feel different?
I don't know if you are supposed to feel relief. You feel anxiety, you let it be and you go on with the normal day stuff, and the anxiety goes away, just as it came. I guess in the ideal situation, as you are not paying attention, you would not notice. And then, after a while you might realize that you are not anxious anymore. I guess at that point you should also leave it at that (maybe praise yourself), and also not further engage in it. Because then you open the floor for obsessing and compulsing again.
But if you hit the SOS button on this app it literally says "experience relief."
The easiest way to explain it would be the compulsions provide temporary relief whilst riding the anxiety out brings long-term relief. Hope this clarifies!
I was wondering this as well. I did an exposure yesterday and it was so hard to tell if I was reassuring myself or not. And I eventually felt relief but at the end I was confused as to if I compulsed or if I did the exposure right.
Right? And then you question that bit, and then you question the next bit, and so on...
@The Overthinker And that when rumination kicks in :,)
Ah ok, i am not an expert. Maybe it means that in some time you notice that anxiety levels have dropped. If you did not perform any compulsions, it dropped by itself. You indeed also experience relief when you do a compulsion, and i guess the feeling will not be that different. The difference probably is that a compulsion only temporarily gives relief, but in the long run severes ocd, whereas the relief from letting it fade away by itself in some time causes persistent relief.
Why did the compulsion/test people told me I did felt very wanted in the moment. But then I regret it now and afterwards. Still a compulsion, correct? It just didn't feel like a compulsion, but then again I don't know what those feel like
Resisting compulsions feels so wrong and dangerous, I’m trying my best but the anxiety of doing so is immense. Especially because my brain is still not allowing myself to believe that my obsession is OCD, it wants me to believe it is a threat, so even calling my compulsions “compulsions” is making me anxious because that is me calling this whole thing OCD and not real if that makes sense?
Why am I not anxious? Like at all anymore? Is it because I'm really avoiding and trying not to think of the consequences that come from possibly being a pdfile? Is the only thing that is worrying me about it is the consequences then does it mean that I really am one? But I never masturbated to the thought of a child and actively seeked it. It came as intrusive thoughts while I was doing it yes I've had them when I see kids yes and I question and check a lot if I'm attracted to them and its just confusing me, I know I'll never do anything to hurt a child and I don't even like the idea of becoming a pdfile then why am I not anxious enough about it? The thoughts are just distressing obsessive I feel disgusting and Id say I still do compulsions but I don't know something just doesn't feel right. I don't feel anything and no real attraction to anyone or anything anymore. I just feel so disgusting and I just want to be normal but then again I pretty much did this to myself. It's weird to me I know there isn't a real indication I'm a pdfile and past experiences pretty much prove that and I've always been attracted to older guys so why is this happening now? Why am I getting these thoughts now especially right after I was trying to fix this sexual obsession/tension I had for older guys. Is my brain just leaving one thing to love and be obsessed about and going to the other? I'm really really just confused. Not anxious just distressed confused and uncomfortable. Like I want to throw up but I don't feel intense anxiety in my chest it feels like maybe I haven't processed what's going on properly. I'm genuinely so confused and I don't want to have this stay in my mind. Sometimes I just miss my ex so much because at the time I've felt something I felt so much things even though I had really bad rocd. I just miss loving people again and being alive again. I'm so scared and confused right now can anyone explain to me what is this? I genuinely just want to understand what I'm feeling or thinking because its not making sense to me
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