How can I cope with guilt and avoid confessing past mistakes?

Losing someone

My dad recently died and it’s really ramped up my real event OCD. He was only 63. The chronic guilt of my worst mistakes haunt me worse than ever and I want so bad to confess to my mother. The event happened 17 years ago and I never repeated the mistake. I was 19. I had or have a learning disability. I don’t think my moral compass fully developed until after that. I love doing good now and made a career out of it, but the chronic guilt eats at me. How do I deal with this? How do I not confess?

Real Events OCD

Username: winterdream winterdream

Date posted: 2y ago

I feel like focusing on reducing the guilt and the anxiety by not pushing away but acknowledging the feeling helps. My therapist suggested self soothing techniques to help with this, one of which is putting your hand on your chest/ anywhere that soothes you and saying “this is hard” and repeating it to yourself. It sounds simple but it helped me a lot. Also, Please know this is your OCD making you ruminate, and not you.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@winterdream I’ll try that. I also get false memories, which are a complete nightmare

Username: kikibluekikiblue

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

I don’t have many words of comfort, as I too lost my dad last year and am feeling all that guilt and rumination…but please know you’re not alone. I love @winterdream’s comment. I will also try that. 💗

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@kikiblue I’m so sorry for your loss. It really magnifies the things we struggle with too, but don’t give up.

Username: kikibluekikiblue

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous 🤗

Username: EntropyEntropy

Date posted: 2y ago

Something I found helpful is to find solace in the work thats been done to better self. You’ve mentioned you out a lot of effort into doing good these days, work like that really changes who you are as a person. Unfortunately we cannot change the past nor prevent mistakes, but your intentions are good and unlike many others who deny their flaws, you’ve gone out of your way to acknowledge yours and try to be better. Reinforcing kind thoughts towards yourself and even maybe looking the good you’ve done is sometimes helpful in reducing the guilt associated with this.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@Entropy I try to. I am a hospice social worker and I feel it’s my calling

Username: Anonymous444444

Date posted: 1y ago

What if our Real Event really is bad?

I know this is such a typical OCD thought, but I really feel mine is. Without going into too much detail feel like I basically SA'd my ex without meaning to and got away with it. I feel like I need to confess to everyone, including ny current gf, but I'm worried people will never look at me the same again. I'm trying so hard with ERP but I feel like I'm just using it to avoid confronting what I've done. I feel like I'm going to get cancelled or thrown in jail and my life is going to fall apart. I feel so guilty and sorry. I want to be a good person.

Real Events OCD

Username: aneyh

Date posted: 45w ago

How do you deal with confession urges?

I have a really awful event. One that required a lot of non-OCD related confessions to my gf. It happened 4 years ago. I don’t really consider any of my thoughts around this event to be OCD related, because it was actually THAT BAD, and I actually should feel the things I’m feeling. The problem that keeps coming up is my urge to confess more details. The thing I did wasn’t one event, but a series of awful events. My girlfriend doesn’t want to know anymore details. She says no matter how bad it is, she doesn’t want to know anymore. I keep getting memories of details that I’m worried would end our relationship if she knew. I’ve confessed so many awful details and she hasn’t left me yet, but there are so many genuinely terrible things that I thought, felt, intended, and acted on. With the thought that revealing a detail could end my relationship, how am I not supposed to confess? I feel like I am tricking her and she doesn’t understand the full extent of my depravity. When she looks at me with love I feel sick and unworthy. She doesn’t want me to confess anymore, my therapist doesn’t want me to confess anymore, and these memories are just sitting in my head, eating away at my soul. I feel so alone. I feel like most of you can probably guess the nature of what I did and might not appreciate me posting about it here. I’m sorry, I just need someone to talk to…

Real Events OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 35w ago

Real event ocd

I’m sorry to ask, but I need support from someone with this particular subtype or who has dealt with real even around past mistakes. I’ve done a lot of things wrong and advice from my therapist is to not confess. Confessing is my compulsion, but some are really big mistakes from my younger years. How do you handle the feelings of guilt and shame without confessing? Have you ever confessed and were met with harsh judgement? I’m scared I’ll lose my will or desire to live just sitting with this guilt.

Real Events OCD

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How can I cope with guilt and avoid confessing past mistakes?

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