- Date posted
- 2y ago
Missing my old brain....
Who else misses their old brain? :(
Who else misses their old brain? :(
I think i don’t miss my old brain because it is still the same but, i miss who i used to be before going through all this
I miss the times where I wasn’t so focused on this, and I was having fun. Evidently I didn’t know this was such a thing, because I’ve had several episodes of this happening, great stress associated with it. They never truly went away I just guess learned how to manage them better until they were triggered once again.
Man me too i understand... I don't know if I'll ever get the old me back but all I can do is learn as much as I can about this and try to manage it. The brain is so absolutely powerful and amazing but difficult to understand for me at the same time
It's very strange, I know what you mean too.
I definitely do.
It sucks :(
Honestly, your brain has been what it’s been and you’ve always had OCD if it’s genetic. Or you developed it from extreme trauma, in which case you did have a different brain than before the trauma. But I learned either way, thinking and feeling in this way doesn’t help you in the long run as it sets you up for negative thinking which can easily attach itself to OCD or any other mental I’ll was and make things worse.
I suppose it does, I just can't believe this yet I'm managing it alright.
I miss my rational brain! I don’t miss my old brain. My brain has been affected from ocd from I was 12 years old, although not severely I definitely think it has contributed to the OCD I have now
All the time :’( and what sucks is that it will never truly be the same again
I think grieving the loss of what I remember is healthy so that I can accept myself today. It also helps to look at cognitive distortions, like “my whole life sucks now.” Or before my brain was normal. Neither is really true but sometimes we trick ourselves into believing they are.
I wrote about this the other day tbh, I really miss who I used to be. I had so much passion and hope for my career interests, but now my passions and my fears are so intertwined that it’s hard to enjoy the things I know I love. I miss that excitement and anticipation for opportunities that I felt like I was going to burst, that there was so much I could learn and nothing but the future. I was motivated by a fire rather than by fear or obligation. I miss her
@opossumfan I get this. How frustrating is that. I miss my career and my interests being my top priority, now my fears won’t let me enjoy them.
Everyday I wake up worse knowing my exes face is still stuck at the back of my head, lovebombing me for months just to want to split one random Friday in November. The only relief I get is when I am asleep and even then that’s not enough. My happiness was ripped away from me and I don’t know if I should call the suicidal hotline again questioning what direction my life should go after. It feels like a part of me has died and I want to get a lobotomy just to forget all the time I spent with him that is now is just a distant memory I’ll never get back. How do I go on with life knowing he took my happiness with him
I’ve been feeling so disconnected lately, like I’m not even living my own life. It’s like I’m being controlled by someone else, and I have no say in what’s happening. It’s hard to put this feeling into words, but it’s like I’m here physically, but mentally, I’m just... not. Every day feels like a struggle. I wake up afraid of what’s coming next, almost like I’m bracing myself for the next bad thing to happen. Sometimes, I don’t even want to get out of bed because it feels pointless, like I’m stuck in this loop of fear and doubt. I keep questioning everything, life, my purpose, my choices, and it’s exhausting. I just want to feel like myself again, to feel like I have control, like I’m really here.
So hard to not engage the thoughts because even though it's from the "past" (i don't even know if im remembering things correctly and it kills me) and i can't change it, I just NEED to prove it to myself that it didn't happen this way. If you'd asked me questions maybe a few months ago, I would have been able to lucidly explain things. Now I just feel like I'm in a constant swarm of thoughts, not knowing if anything is real. If my brain is to be trusted. Wish I could just get hypnosis to forget
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