- Username
- s30
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It’s okay, I get frustrated about the way my wife handles certain things. In those moments it immediately has me wondering if I can handle this in the future. I’m makes me worry that I’m gonna lose my feelings or that the purity of the relationship is going to disappear. But then I remember that I love her for who she is, with all the quirks and habits!
But in those moments I definitely do get anxious and can absolutely relate.
It took us a while to adjust too, originally I explained it was going to be difficult for me and I would start to get paranoid, and I know it’s hard to deal with and I can promise what I say won’t be nasty it’ll just be me being paranoid (eg I wouldn’t break up with him because I know I couldn’t do it unless I make sure that’s what I 100% wanted as my ocd plays a lot on this) and if he can help me get through that the next few weeks will be so much better and bless his heart he stuck to it and we’re more laid back than most couples I know, we rarely argue
Thank you for helping me! It's scary thinking I'm the only one going through this
What I find best is me and boyfriend have a system where I’ll tell him I’m busy or that I need to have some me time and he lets me sort myself out before I do anything to end the relationship or bring it up and cause an argument. I do the same with him now when he needs time and taking regular breaks apart (eg. We don’t spend every day together and we don’t always have to call or text) it’s harvested a lot of trust and companionship than I realised
That's what my boyfriend and I have been trying to do the OCD grabs a hold of me and I go crazy. Do you have any tips on starting that?
Ocd really bad today because last night my bf was doing things I found cringey and I worry that means I don’t like him and I also had the thought “maybe you’ve outgrown him” and it felt true
Over a year together with him, and I’ve just recently learned that I have relationship OCD and perfectionist OCD. We talked about it, but I can sense it breaking his heart when I tell him that I cycle between wanting to marry him to breaking up over and over everyday. Constantly evaluating every word or action of his, what shirt he wears that day, how he brushed his hair, what he ate for lunch, who he talked to, what he spent money on, etc any of these things can trigger me into an episode of intrusive thoughts about him not being the one, he’s wrong for me, I’m trapped, I need to get out. It can also swing the other way to me feeling an impulse to go to the courthouse and get married right there. I know that I love him, I always desire to spend time with him; and I picture my future with him in it. He’s such a wonderful person. I don’t know how to stop this emotional rollercoaster my mind straps me into everyday. I just want to be in love and feel secure. How will I ever get married with all of these doubts attacking me everyday?? I can’t stop myself from constantly lecturing him on his flaws and what he needs to change for me to love him more consistently. I feel like a cold and evil person. Will I ever have clarity? Is he really as flawed as I think he is or am I sabotaging the best thing in my life?
I don't know why maybe it's the OCD in me but I just can't comprehend why I'm currently so stressed about my relationship and questioning my feelings towards my boyfriend because I thought about changing the color of my hair or the way I present myself physically??? My brain immediately associates "change" with "this means I'm probably unhappy with my relationship and that I want it to change too" why??? I don't want to have these thoughts and I don't want to associate every little desire I have to change my routine or my appearance with breaking up with my boyfriend. Anyone can relate to these triggers too?
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