Anonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
Signs of ROCD?
Can anyone tell me what its like to have ROCD when ur going through a rough patch in the relationship?
Mau NLMau NL
- Date posted
- 2y
For me, an absolute certainty emerges that my partner and me are no match whatsoever, my brain providing all kinds of evidence, and rocd relentlessly directing me to breaking up being the only solution. While after sitting through all this, the conclusion always is that there is a lot of love, and a strong and loving emotional connection
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@Mau NL I have so ocd too, so it caused me to lose my sex drive for 3 months. Now i start thinking that since im unable to be with him intimately, then it means i dont love him anymore :( and thats so sad to me
Mau NLMau NL
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous I am so sorry for you that you have to go through this. Ocd can be such a terrible disorder. Do you have someone who can professionally guide you with ERP, also to get your sex drive back? To stop discussing with your ocd and to accept all uncertainties, so that you can be intimate again without feeling the guilt and shame? To bring the fun back of sexuality? Big hug!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@Mau NL Unfortunately not! Its way too expensive and i live in canada :( so its minimum 200$ for an hour
Kate'sOCDKate'sOCD
- Date posted
- 2y
@Mau NL Thank you for saying this. It actually creates feelings of like slight disgust/ being turned off/ extreme anxiety by things my partner does and it’s so confusing because I love him so much and thinking about being turned off by him makes me so so upset and cry every time. I noticed it gets worse the more I address it and think about it too.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@Kate'sOCD I get u 🥺🥺 i feel exactly the same way, it just makes me feel so guilty!! It also makes me overanalyze and doubt the entire relationship and whether its even real :(
Kate'sOCDKate'sOCD
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous It started getting really bad recently. I miss my boyfriend and I feel like I can’t feel close to him even in the slightest unless I’m around him. My therapist doesn’t get it lol. She thinks that we’re just not meant to be
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@Kate'sOCD SAME!!! she said why r u with someone who doesn’t make u feel like ur getting what u need. When im far from my bf and not with him physically, i get so anxious that i start to think he never offers me what i need and want. And well, she made me trip yesterday by saying that were not meant to be :)
Kate'sOCDKate'sOCD
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous SAME
Kate'sOCDKate'sOCD
- Date posted
- 2y
It can feel like constant stress and Pain at all times of the day. Constant doubting and maybe even the urge to break up with your partner. You feel a strong connection to them but the love and joy may not feel there as much anymore. It can manifest differently for different people, but this is just the way it feels for me.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@Kate'sOCD Do u also ask urself constantly if its a sign that u should break up? Like its normal to have doubts, but these thoughts make me so anxious
Kate'sOCDKate'sOCD
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous Yes
Mau NLMau NL
- Date posted
- 2y
Ah i am so sorry for you both. These are again perfect examples that ocd is badly understood, also among many professional therapists. As long as your ocd picks your relationship(s) as its theme, your feelings will be a pendulum, going from one to the other side. I have learnt that you can have a satisfying relationship within this context, given that you know that you have ocd, and take your own space to not react in all the impusles you get, but develop an alternative action plan (i walk a lot, go for a run, play guitar, or simply sit with it without taking action, meanwhile not judging myself for something i surely did not ask for and which is not my fault at all)
Mau NLMau NL
- Date posted
- 2y
For me, you both sound like you have a loving relationship and i feel sadness in your words about the way ocd stands in between you and your partner. I hope that it gives you hope if i say that in many ways i was where you are now, but that at this moment it goes very well. I know that ocd will always be there, but i also know that if i do nothing and if i don't engage (or do, but then take my own space to cope with it), it will pass.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
Like u know when u start defending the relationship bc u know its right between u two? And then she challenges that, so then u start wondering why u even have to defend it? And if ur in denial because shes a professional?
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confused writer
- Date posted
- 23w
ROCD
I wanna hear you most extreme feeling you had from ROCD please I feel like I’m going insane
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 20w
rocd
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
ellij
- Date posted
- 13w
ROCD flare up
Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.
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