- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Signs of ROCD?
Can anyone tell me what its like to have ROCD when ur going through a rough patch in the relationship?
Can anyone tell me what its like to have ROCD when ur going through a rough patch in the relationship?
For me, an absolute certainty emerges that my partner and me are no match whatsoever, my brain providing all kinds of evidence, and rocd relentlessly directing me to breaking up being the only solution. While after sitting through all this, the conclusion always is that there is a lot of love, and a strong and loving emotional connection
@Mau NL I have so ocd too, so it caused me to lose my sex drive for 3 months. Now i start thinking that since im unable to be with him intimately, then it means i dont love him anymore :( and thats so sad to me
@Anonymous I am so sorry for you that you have to go through this. Ocd can be such a terrible disorder. Do you have someone who can professionally guide you with ERP, also to get your sex drive back? To stop discussing with your ocd and to accept all uncertainties, so that you can be intimate again without feeling the guilt and shame? To bring the fun back of sexuality? Big hug!
@Mau NL Unfortunately not! Its way too expensive and i live in canada :( so its minimum 200$ for an hour
@Mau NL Thank you for saying this. It actually creates feelings of like slight disgust/ being turned off/ extreme anxiety by things my partner does and it’s so confusing because I love him so much and thinking about being turned off by him makes me so so upset and cry every time. I noticed it gets worse the more I address it and think about it too.
@Kate'sOCD I get u 🥺🥺 i feel exactly the same way, it just makes me feel so guilty!! It also makes me overanalyze and doubt the entire relationship and whether its even real :(
@Anonymous It started getting really bad recently. I miss my boyfriend and I feel like I can’t feel close to him even in the slightest unless I’m around him. My therapist doesn’t get it lol. She thinks that we’re just not meant to be
@Kate'sOCD SAME!!! she said why r u with someone who doesn’t make u feel like ur getting what u need. When im far from my bf and not with him physically, i get so anxious that i start to think he never offers me what i need and want. And well, she made me trip yesterday by saying that were not meant to be :)
@Anonymous SAME
It can feel like constant stress and Pain at all times of the day. Constant doubting and maybe even the urge to break up with your partner. You feel a strong connection to them but the love and joy may not feel there as much anymore. It can manifest differently for different people, but this is just the way it feels for me.
@Kate'sOCD Do u also ask urself constantly if its a sign that u should break up? Like its normal to have doubts, but these thoughts make me so anxious
@Anonymous Yes
Ah i am so sorry for you both. These are again perfect examples that ocd is badly understood, also among many professional therapists. As long as your ocd picks your relationship(s) as its theme, your feelings will be a pendulum, going from one to the other side. I have learnt that you can have a satisfying relationship within this context, given that you know that you have ocd, and take your own space to not react in all the impusles you get, but develop an alternative action plan (i walk a lot, go for a run, play guitar, or simply sit with it without taking action, meanwhile not judging myself for something i surely did not ask for and which is not my fault at all)
For me, you both sound like you have a loving relationship and i feel sadness in your words about the way ocd stands in between you and your partner. I hope that it gives you hope if i say that in many ways i was where you are now, but that at this moment it goes very well. I know that ocd will always be there, but i also know that if i do nothing and if i don't engage (or do, but then take my own space to cope with it), it will pass.
Like u know when u start defending the relationship bc u know its right between u two? And then she challenges that, so then u start wondering why u even have to defend it? And if ur in denial because shes a professional?
Anyone with Relationship ocd? Can you please share what it’s like for you ?
Does ROCD every start to make you feel and perceive life, or your spouse and the things important to you through this really wierd, unsettling kind of filter or perception? And you just feel resistant, distracted, repulsed and almost like you don’t care but also do. It’s hard. I feel very unfamiliar. It’s like you just don’t want to try when you think I about making action, but you also want to. Ugh. What do you do? Has things changed for you? I wish I could describe this better but I can’t.
My rocd flared up around the time my girlfriend and i were starting the process of getting an apartment. At the start, I was very excited and so happy to be moving together. then my mind kept thinking “she’s not going to let you have any say in anything, she doesn’t want you decorating, you guys don’t like the same things” and i started to believe that, which eventually led to me saying all that. and from there on, it gradually got worse. I started having thoughts like “do i even love her? am i in love with her? having i been faking it this entire time? do i have feelings for anymore? etc” and then i would have thoughts of breaking up and i’d get so anxious. now i wake up every morning thinking “i don’t love her, i don’t want to be in a relationship with her” and i get sooooo anxious. i know i love her, i know i don’t want to break up with her, i know the apartment is something i genuinely want, i just can’t feel any of it right now. every time i think of breaking up, i try to imagine my life without her and it doesn’t seem right. i genuinely can’t imagine not being with her. my feelings and thoughts before all this were very much happy and healthy, like i was smitten but now my thoughts affect me everyday, they’re all i think about. it’s all i research, i talk about it too much to other people, the thoughts are making me feel like i’m faking everything. does anyone have tips. i just want to feel like i used to feel
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