This is an exposure for me. I’m terrified to comment. I only hit “share”, “submit”, etc. with sweaty palms and a racing heart. And, only when it’s unavoidable. I seek reassurance from family. I ask them to read my emails and proofread my essays. But I feel dependent on others and I hate that. Recently, I challenged myself to comment on a FB post. “That’s lovely” is all I wrote. It wasn’t a controversial statement, but it caused me to feel intense anxiety symptoms. So, believe it or not, this comment is a huge step forward for me. And, hopefully it isn’t the last!

Yeah OCD definitely thrives on uncertainty. Mine is about whether I've written the wrong thing. Like, I'll get intrusive thoughts that I'll have confessed to something or been offensive to someone and not remembered. Morality and memory are two key themes of my OCD though so that makes sense

Well done!

Thank you! I’m proud of myself. :) I can’t stop thinking about my first comment (and now this one). To begin, I feel terrible, but I’m slowly changing my response. I also spend a lot of time revising my writing so that it feels “just right” (hence the label). I’m working on that too. I’m currently making a list of goals to tackle this obsession. I’ll try to comment more on NOCD (because it feels safer), then I’ll attempt FB comments again. If anybody can relate to my “commenting paranoia obsession”, feel free to share your experience. I am the last person to judge, and perhaps a dialogue would be good for both of us.

It's incredible to see where we once were, and where we are now. Good idea to work your way up the fear ladder, rather than starting with the massive things. I have a similar obsession, however mine is more about texts than comments

Great work!! I can't fully relate to the commenting thing but I have definitely worried about typing and having to check etc. You're doing great!

bluefish, thank you for your encouraging words! And, it’s OK that you can’t fully relate. I know it’s not a great idea to scroll through the comments, but I did when I was nervous (an understatement) to begin commenting. One thing I love about this community is that everyone can relate, at least a little, to each other. OCD is so personal, right? But we all have nasty feelings. Also, maybe this isn’t what you struggle with, but I type because writing is hard (I erase lots) and I check so many things because I’m a paranoid wreck. :) But hey, 4 comments! I’m getting better. Whatever you’re dealing with, you can conquer the nasty feelings! :)

I have quite bad memory and a lot of blocked memories so I get obsessions that I've done something and forgotten it. So with that comes a lot of checking and reassurance compulsions

musiccloud, I’m sorry to hear that! I didn’t realize that reassurance can be damaging before I joined NOCD (yesterday). It seems natural to seek it, but I suppose reassurance only strengthens the obsession-compulsion cycle. Talking about OCD helps though. Usually, I prefer to do this in person, but venting here is feeling increasingly normal. Thanks for reading and replying! I’ll try not to reassure, but I must compliment you. You seem like a kind, understanding person to me. Your comments are my evidence! I hope it becomes easier to trust yourself and that life becomes easier. :)

I'm a lot better at dealing with my OCD now than I used to be. It definitely gets easier

I suppose this obsession may not be limited to commenting. Come to think of it, I have similar anxiety when I’m texting (though probably not as severe as yours.) What scares me most is not knowing. OCD loves that, doesn’t it? I’m uncomfortable in situations where I can’t easily interpret people’s responses. Is that what worries you when you try to text people? That you can’t be sure of their responses? I hope the “what-ifs” are manageable for you! Something that helps me (in any OC situation) is reminding myself: “This bothers me, so OCD has an in. If I allow the thought to pass, OCD will scram.” :)

musiccloud, I also struggle with intrusive thoughts. They are incredibly disturbing! My therapist encourages me to think about my morals. I remind myself that I do have morals, therefore what OCD causes me to experience is not a part of me, not really. Sure, it’s in my brain, but I’m not a bad person. In fact, I don’t like the thoughts and that proves my character. You worry about what you may have done, right? I worry about what I may do. Neither situation is pretty. For me, categorizing a thought as mine (in line with my morals) or OCD’s (out of line!) helps. Eventually, I hope to confront these thoughts with, “Oh, you again?” *Eye roll* :) Also, if you are comfortable explaining more about your memory theme, I’m interested. I’m not sure if I experience this myself and I’d like to understand. And, do you associate checking with it?