- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah OCD definitely thrives on uncertainty. Mine is about whether I've written the wrong thing. Like, I'll get intrusive thoughts that I'll have confessed to something or been offensive to someone and not remembered. Morality and memory are two key themes of my OCD though so that makes sense
- Date posted
- 6y
Well done!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you! I’m proud of myself. :) I can’t stop thinking about my first comment (and now this one). To begin, I feel terrible, but I’m slowly changing my response. I also spend a lot of time revising my writing so that it feels “just right” (hence the label). I’m working on that too. I’m currently making a list of goals to tackle this obsession. I’ll try to comment more on NOCD (because it feels safer), then I’ll attempt FB comments again. If anybody can relate to my “commenting paranoia obsession”, feel free to share your experience. I am the last person to judge, and perhaps a dialogue would be good for both of us.
- Date posted
- 6y
It's incredible to see where we once were, and where we are now. Good idea to work your way up the fear ladder, rather than starting with the massive things. I have a similar obsession, however mine is more about texts than comments
- Date posted
- 6y
Great work!! I can't fully relate to the commenting thing but I have definitely worried about typing and having to check etc. You're doing great!
- Date posted
- 6y
bluefish, thank you for your encouraging words! And, it’s OK that you can’t fully relate. I know it’s not a great idea to scroll through the comments, but I did when I was nervous (an understatement) to begin commenting. One thing I love about this community is that everyone can relate, at least a little, to each other. OCD is so personal, right? But we all have nasty feelings. Also, maybe this isn’t what you struggle with, but I type because writing is hard (I erase lots) and I check so many things because I’m a paranoid wreck. :) But hey, 4 comments! I’m getting better. Whatever you’re dealing with, you can conquer the nasty feelings! :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I have quite bad memory and a lot of blocked memories so I get obsessions that I've done something and forgotten it. So with that comes a lot of checking and reassurance compulsions
- Date posted
- 6y
musiccloud, I’m sorry to hear that! I didn’t realize that reassurance can be damaging before I joined NOCD (yesterday). It seems natural to seek it, but I suppose reassurance only strengthens the obsession-compulsion cycle. Talking about OCD helps though. Usually, I prefer to do this in person, but venting here is feeling increasingly normal. Thanks for reading and replying! I’ll try not to reassure, but I must compliment you. You seem like a kind, understanding person to me. Your comments are my evidence! I hope it becomes easier to trust yourself and that life becomes easier. :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm a lot better at dealing with my OCD now than I used to be. It definitely gets easier
- Date posted
- 6y
I suppose this obsession may not be limited to commenting. Come to think of it, I have similar anxiety when I’m texting (though probably not as severe as yours.) What scares me most is not knowing. OCD loves that, doesn’t it? I’m uncomfortable in situations where I can’t easily interpret people’s responses. Is that what worries you when you try to text people? That you can’t be sure of their responses? I hope the “what-ifs” are manageable for you! Something that helps me (in any OC situation) is reminding myself: “This bothers me, so OCD has an in. If I allow the thought to pass, OCD will scram.” :)
- Date posted
- 6y
musiccloud, I also struggle with intrusive thoughts. They are incredibly disturbing! My therapist encourages me to think about my morals. I remind myself that I do have morals, therefore what OCD causes me to experience is not a part of me, not really. Sure, it’s in my brain, but I’m not a bad person. In fact, I don’t like the thoughts and that proves my character. You worry about what you may have done, right? I worry about what I may do. Neither situation is pretty. For me, categorizing a thought as mine (in line with my morals) or OCD’s (out of line!) helps. Eventually, I hope to confront these thoughts with, “Oh, you again?” *Eye roll* :) Also, if you are comfortable explaining more about your memory theme, I’m interested. I’m not sure if I experience this myself and I’d like to understand. And, do you associate checking with it?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
So I know I've talked about my fear of being hacked/watched without my knowledge and at the same time that same fear has also made me scared that i've said incriminating things or confessed to a crime I didn't commit out loud without realizing and that this person (who probably doesn't even exist) is going to use it against me in the future and ruin my life. To the point where I've covered all my device cameras. Yeah, I know. Incredibly outlandish. Anyways. The past few months it's just been my brain convincing me that my life is over or that it's going to end and not just end, but like I'm going to lose everyone that I love because of said "incriminating things" though I know I haven't done anything wrong. Of course, there's a part of me that realises that this is really unlikely because I'm not that important of a person for someone to lie in wait for decades and decide to ruin my life just because though I don't doubt that there are people like that out there (i really hope they're few and far between). However, there's another part of me that also really believes that this is all true. And sometimes I wonder if I'm going insane. Coupled with what I believe are false memories, the anxiety has been taxing every day. And I find it hard to sit with uncertainty because this worst case scenario terrifies me. I'm scared of being unloved and abandoned and also deathly afraid of being perceived as a bad person. And of course, also scared of being a bad person and my brain is convinced that I must be. Anyways. Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. I wanted to share because I know that OCD or I guess any kind of mental illness (whatever it is I'm suffering from if it isn't OCD) likes to convince us that our fears are too niche and that this worry wouldn't be present if it wasn't real. OCD likes to use that as proof. I've learnt though that there are many people like me on this app, and even though it's still scary, it makes me feel less alone. It can be very tiring and honestly sometimes I ask myself how I'm still here even though it's been a few months and some people on here have experienced episodes like this for years or even decades. I keep hoping I'll wake up one day and it will be like this never happened. If you've taken the time to read this incredibly long waffle session of mine that's more like a drawn-pit diary entry, thank you. And if you feel comfortable with sharing, please do :)
- False Memory OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Harm OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- POCD
- Real Events OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 24w
Hey everyone, I just wanted to share something I’ve been struggling with, especially around making decisions. It’s really hard for me to feel confident in the choices I make, even when I know what the right thing is. I constantly find myself needing validation from others—whether it’s about something small or something really important. For example, at my job, I might know exactly what I’m doing and have done it right a bunch of times, but I still feel the need to double-check with someone or ask if it’s okay. It’s like this fear kicks in, and I start imagining worst-case scenarios—like what if I mess up and someone gets hurt, and then I get blamed or even end up in jail or prison. I know that sounds extreme, but these thoughts just come automatically, and they feel so real in the moment. This has been going on for maybe a year or two now. Even outside of work, the same thing happens. Like recently, I’ve been trying to figure out a gym schedule—my girlfriend wants to go with me, and I’m trying to plan the times and make it all work. But instead of just choosing what works best for me, I overthink it. I go back and forth in my head, and I ask other people what they think, even though deep down I know this is something I should be deciding for myself. It’s my life, but I still need that reassurance from others, and I don’t really know why. It’s exhausting to always doubt myself and to feel like one wrong choice could lead to something terrible. I’m trying to work through it, but I just wanted to put it out there and see if anyone else deals with this or has advice. Thanks for reading.
- Date posted
- 23w
Hiii! This is my first post. I found NOCD through a tiktok ad that spoke to me. It was titled signs you didnt know were OCD or something like that, and one of the slides was “checking my pulse throughout the day to make sure i was okay”. This is something ive done for i dont even know how long. atleast 10 years, im 24 now. Ive always known Ive had OCD. Light Sanitation OCD runs in my family. But over the years ive started to realize i had way more than the “family trait”. Checking my pulse 40+ times a day is something i refer to as my “OCD tick”. Its to the point where people who dont know about my “tick” often ask if i am okay when they see me do it. Maybe this post is me putting it on paper for the first time so i myself can analyze but some other stuff i struggle with are: Often having thoughts of if i dont do A, B will happen. An example that is common for me is “if i dont refold this shirt me and my boyfriend will get into an argument” or if im out to dinner with a friend, “if i dont pick up this cup and place it back down, i will get into a car accident on the way home”. This is one i struggle with almost everyday, especially when im around people (work or outings). This compulsion happens multiple times a day. Now in my life i try to practice exposure therapy, even getting annoyed i feel the compulsion and think to myself “oh my god this is so stupid no!” but if i dont follow through i feel guilty. often when i get my next compulsion shortly after i tell myself “okay doing this will make up for not doing the previous one”. I definitely dont have a number based OCD, but i would have to pick up and put down the cup until it feels “right” or “correct”- same with checking my pulse. I have to check my pulse until the feeling is “just right”. With sanitation as i said before, i have a very clean and sanitary family, although mine is more severe than their feelings. I avoid touching certain surfaces after i have washed my hands, such as the front door knob, or living room tv remote, etc. If i need to touch or use these things, i have to immediately wash my hands again. Even if someone comes home and asks me to go and lock the front door ill often respond with “i cant i just washed my hands, if i lock the door ill have to rewash my hands”. thankfully my family is very understanding. I often feel like certain things are contaminated. For example when i come home i sanitize my phone immediately as it is contaminated from being outside of my house. I often have a feeling of something having to feel “just right”. If i go out to dinner i have to be the first to pick what seat or side of the booth im sitting on before the rest of my family sits down or i will feel anxious the whole dinner. Sometimes when im typing i have to back space and retype the same word over and over until i feel i typed it “just right”- even if i didnt make a typo. sometimes when i am driving and space out i often think “oh my god did i just hit someone” when there is no evidence that i have. it worries me. I think oh my god i mightve done a hit and run. But tell myself it can not be possible, theres no police chasing me, no honking, or anything. It is scary. this one is very rare. once in a blue moon i get a false memory. A main one ive felt since i was a kid is if someone or some object touches any part of my body, for example my left arm, i have to have them or atleast my self touch my right arm in the exact same way or i feel uneasy. this isnt with every single touch, but mainly when i feel triggered- although i never know what triggers a moment where i need the symmetry. I guess ive always known, i am very honest with my family, friends, and boyfriend about it. But i didnt start to realize how neurodivergent i was until asking some friends “you never randomly feel *insert compulsion*?” and they say never in their life have they felt like that. Im very self aware and have come to an acceptance with all these things, although it is debilitating. Periodically i think, wow it must be nice to not live life with these feelings but oh well. To be honest, downloading this app is the first step ive ever taken to find out more about OCD. Ive always kind of just been like “yeah i definitely have OCD but okay” more or less.
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