Mental Rituals are sneaky...do you recognize that you do any of these?
I found this online, and thought it was a great summary of the mental rituals many of us engage in:
Mental Review – A person examines past memories and events to determine if the feared obsession occurred or to make sure there isn’t any historical evidence that supports the OCD fear. For example, a man with HOCD may mentally review all of his positive, heterosexual experiences to feel more certain about being straight. A woman may lie in bed mentally reviewing all of the physical actions she took when placing her infant in the crib, to ensure she didn’t suffocate her baby with the pillow. “I remember placing the pillow on the rocking chair before bringing the baby to her room.” An individual may also review his past thoughts and events to gain certainty he is not in denial of the existence of his sinister inner core.
An example of a mental review process may look something like this, “My niece was over the other day and she sat on my lap. Why did I let her do that? What if I wanted her to sit on my lap because I am sexually aroused by her? I think she may have initiated the contact though. Yes, she got up off the floor and approached me. Did I pick her up or did she climb up herself? I’m pretty sure she climbed up herself. Okay, well what if it doesn’t matter that she climbed up herself? What if it is still creepy that I allowed it or that I didn’t ask her to get down sooner? I am the adult after all. Okay well many people allow kids to sit on their laps. Was I aroused during this? I think I felt something. Well I did let her down when I felt the tingling sensation. She said goodbye to me and so she must not have been traumatized by what I did.”
Mental Checking – Checking the brain is just a non-physical way to ensure an OCD fear is not realized, and serves the same purpose as door or stove checking. A mental checklist may be recited to be sure all bases are covered. The OCD sufferer may bring up OCD thoughts intentionally for the purpose of checking if the thoughts still bother them. They may fear that the presence of uncertainty and anxiety mean that the thought is therefore true. The intensity of OCD thoughts and feelings can fluctuate from day to day and moment to moment. Because of the good feeling sufferers get when intrusive thoughts don’t produce as much anxiety or uncertainty as usual, they may compulsively “check” their reactions to thoughts to hopefully replicate this experience. The problem is continued checking becomes the reinforcement for OCD thoughts and feelings.
Mental Rehearsal – A person spends time mentally preparing or rehearsing a future situation to determine it is safe for themselves or others in this compulsion type, which is the exact opposite of mental review where the past is examined. Examples include rehearsing a future medical appointment to be sure the all right medical information will be provided and all the right questions are asked to guarantee health. A groom with ROCD fears may mentally rehearse the upcoming wedding vows to examine if he feels strongly enough about each point to marry his future wife.
A teacher may fear she is not adequately understood when she speaks and never feels she can explain things perfectly enough. She may engage in a mental ritual where she rehearses her lesson plans mentally to ensure the children succeed. Mental rehearsal might look something like this for someone suffering from ‘hit and run’ OCD, “I know Main Street has a lot of mothers pushing strollers in the afternoon. I will have to take another street since I will be going out for lunch today. Second Street might be less congested. How will I know if it is safe for me to drive? I can ask my co-worker to ride along with me and he will be able to hear if I hit someone.”
Self-Reassurance – Just like reassurance-seeking from others, the purpose of self-reassurance is to mentally provide certainty that the feared outcome won’t occur or that one is not as bad or evil as the OCD leads them to believe. A person may tell themselves positive affirmations about being a good person when their OCD produces thoughts about harm, pedophilia, etc. They commonly run through a mental list of reassurances they have received from family, friends or professionals. An example off the self-reassurance process may look something like this, “My priest said I did not sin when I accidentally took home the song book from mass. But wait, did he know that I was the one who put it the bag and not my child? Yes, he told me that it didn’t matter if I did it or my child did it. I returned it to the church the next day and it was an accident. I am a good person. I’ve never stolen anything in my life!”
Thought neutralization – This occurs when a person mentally replaces unwanted, unpleasant thoughts or images with pleasant or more neutral ones. A woman tries to imagine her child sitting in a field of flowers after having a thought about him getting kidnapped from the playground at daycare. Another woman brings in an image of herself beside her neighbor, a woman still healthy and vibrant at age 83, to neutralize an intrusive thought about potentially getting cancer. A young man with HOCD may imagine a sexy girl in a short dress after noticing an attractive man walk by him on the street.
Prayer, mantras, and special phrases – A person may repeat a prayer or phrase to neutralize an intrusive thought. Clients with intrusive thoughts may say a prayer, “God is good,” or a compulsively say a phrase, “Good conquers evil,” following any panic-inducing OCD thought. The phrase, “It’s not me, it’s my OCD” is a good way to recognize and categorize intrusive thoughts as OCD brain blips that don’t need attention. It is a helpful reminder to avoid responding to OCD thoughts compulsively. Any phrase can become compulsive, however, if it is used repeatedly and excessively with the motive of convincing oneself with certainty that a bad outcome will not occur, seeking comfort or attempting to rid oneself of thoughts. Have awareness of your motive for using any phrase, even the helpful ones provided by your OCD specialist. Normal religious prayer may also be repeated compulsively to neutralize fears about having done the prayer incorrectly or that they have sinned by having inappropriate thoughts while praying.
Solving and wishing – Sometimes people become less concerned with the possibility of acting out their thoughts and more concerned that the thoughts will plague them forever and will cause of life of misery. This has been referred to as “Obsessing about Obsessing.” Individuals often spend time “wishing” for the thoughts to go away and comparing their life to a life they would have if they weren’t obsessing. An OCD sufferer’s compulsions may also be focused on “solving” their OCD puzzle by excessively thinking about what they need to do to fix their OCD. These compulsions send a message that the OCD is more important than it is, and as a result makes OCD more powerful.
Self-punishment – A person who has fears of being a bad person which results in excessive amounts of guilt may engage in a mental ritual called self-punishment. The person will abuse themselves mentally in order to feel they are not getting away with a crime that has gone unpunished. The self-abuse temporarily relieves some guilt because they feel they haven’t gotten away with something they ‘should’ be punished for. It also leads to a sense that they are on the same side of the population as people who hate killing, pedophilia and incest, etc. Just letting these ideas sit around is not acceptable. Obviously, putting oneself through this process is uncomfortable and often very depressing, but letting oneself off the hook does not feel like an option. “I am a horrible person for having these thoughts. What kind of good person would think about sex with his sister? This is really sick. I am a demented and depraved individual and don’t deserve to live!”
