existental ocd

Does anyone else think about life so deeply all the time, i have always been a deep thinker since i was young and ive had ocd my whole life so that has made me think 10x deeper. I always think and worry how we are all here and nobody knows why and the fact that we all die also terrifies me and we dont know what happens after we do die. Im terrified of the people i love dying . but i also have suicide ocd, i dont want to hurt myself ever but i worry that if i become so depressed that i will or something like that and that turned into an ocd for me, i really dont want to ever hurt myself but feeling depressed scares me. For years now it has been an ocd thing for me about the people i love dying and i have to do mental complusions every single day , although it comes in phases where its worse than others. It has gotten worse because my dad just turned 50 and i turn 19 in 6 days, life is changing and everyone is getting older and its been making me depressed and anxious and theres nothing i can do about it because it is life. I just want to know if other people feel the same also. Its christmas eve and im just depressed and i dont know why.

Username: TheocdguitaristTheocdguitarist

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

I have always been called a deep thinker since the time I was a child. I find philosophy and religion incredibly interesting as well, so OCD has latched onto those tremendously in the past. It was so difficult, because I would ruminate on philosophies/doctrine/the purpose of life for days on end. I convinced myself that I needed to think about those things to be smart and know the answer. It didn't help when I had people in my life who encouraged this OCD thinking (totally not their fault, they had no idea about OCD and just wanted to discuss those matters). Lately, I've been recognizing when I ruminate on existential questions and look at why I'm justifying it. So rather than solving the problem, I'll ask myself, "why do I feel I need to think about this right now?" and if there is a sense of urgency that I need an answer now, I know it's rumination and I stop. But if it's just a genuine curiousity, I allow myself to think about it. It can be so difficult to tell the difference, and I'm still struggling with it everyday, but it has gotten better:) you've got this!

Username: ntotontoto

Date posted: 2y ago

i have struggled severely with existential ocd in the past, definitely the lowest point in my life. my ocd eventually got bored of obsessing over it though, and i now see existential/philosophical thinking as an interesting hobby of mine, the tables have completely turned over, this is possible

Username: Alessandra RizzottiAlessandra R...

Date posted: 2y ago

The holidays can be rough and a time of reflection. What are some things that help you stay focused on your values? OCD wants to attack what you care about, but if you stay focused on actions you can take to be closer to your values vs worries you can’t control, that sometimes can help.

Username: peaceandluv peaceandluv

Date posted: 2y ago

yeah i’ve had freakouts over this too and you just have to accept that there is nothing u can do about it, it’s life, everyone is going to die. my best friend has also been a deep thinker since she was young and has struggled with this a lot more and a lot longer than i have and the advice she gave me was to worry about dying when you’re actually dying, you’re not dying rn, so why worry about it. it’s not nice to think about but all you can do is accept it. you could also do something to take your mind off it, like something you enjoy or even tell somebody around you about it they might relate

Username: Blake K.

Date posted: 2y ago

Going through existential ocd

Hey everyone, this is my first post here and I just have to get stuff off my chest. It started so randomly and so recently. I (21 m) came to accept my morality and my death at a fairly young age following watching 'UP' and my grandfather passed away. But a youtube video talking about a character struggle with their death as part of a character arc, that one line made my mind fall into a rabbit hole on death, what is death, what's after death, what's life, it's meaning, is there a God, what am I doing with my life, what do I want to do? And is it worthwhile? I felt like I like was slowly disconnecting from reality and that nothing was worth it. My interest like guitar, combat sports, pro wrestling and video games didn't bring me comfort. I've even have trouble eating, just two bites of a chicken sandwich felt like 30 bites. I've just keep thinking about my life and my inevitable death and I couldn't focus on anything else. I think it's because I feel like I'm at a war with my mind, people say life is to short and at the same time to not rush it. I am a Christian and I do believe in an after life of peace but I question what's real and what's not and I don't ever feel happy. Is anyone else going through what I'm feel I really need help.

Username: mandiocd

Date posted: 36w ago

Existential ocd

Been diagnosed with ocd since I was 12. I’m 26 now. I’ve had many themes but this one won’t give I get repetitive thoughts of “what’s the point if we die” anything I do.. my brain goes “why you doing this what’s the point” if I see something fun I wanna do my brain goes “what’s the point”. I don’t consider myself depressed but maybe I am? Is this depression? These thoughts give me immense anxiety. I feel isolated and scared. I honestly feel like there’s no way out. Like I discovered something I can’t undiscover. I know this is super weird guyss. It’s super distressing for me. Is this existential one or something more? What if there is no cure to this? I’m so scared guys. I’m graduating nursing school in 20 days and I’m having a hard time trying to be happy with these thoughts.

Username: ysabelleveloz1

Date posted: 22w ago

SUICIDAL OCD, EXISTENTIAL INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, DPDR

Hi everyone if you haven’t read my latest posting I’m ysabelle & I am 16 years old and this is my on going battle with OCD, depression, anxiety and DPDR. To start off if you want to hear my story of how I first got it I have another post up! I wanted to ask if anyone has every experienced existential intrusive thoughts but has suicidal OCD too. I’ve been trying to find some type of comfort because the first theme I had with intrusive thoughts were suicidal/ harm. I’ve learned how to deal with them where they don’t bother me like they used to, long story short I was having existential intrusive thoughts without knowing it. I thought I was developing dementia because I would stare at my mom and an intrusive thought popped up into my head “ what if you don’t know her “ she was my comfort until that day. I was terrified thinking I didn’t know her or recognize her like I used to. Well I wanted to ask if anyone has dealt with suicidal OCD but existential thoughts like “what’s the point of living if we die anyways?” & how did you cope? I was overthinking because I was trying to figure out if I was suicidal because I would get these thoughts and it made me feel uncomfortable and just more defeated and depressed. I now know it’s the existential intrusive thoughts so I do feel a little better. I was thinking these thoughts were coming from me because of my depression but I’m trying everyday !🫶🏻☀️

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