- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I am not going to answer that question. Not because I do or do not accept you, but because that’s a form of reassurance seeking. That reassurance feeds OCD and intrusive thoughts. And I wouldn’t want to do that to you. I’m sorry you’re feeling so shitty! Everyone on here can relate to feeling numb and scared and alone. Do you have access to therapy? If not, how about buying a book? I think you could benefit from “Self-compassion: the proven power of being kind to yourself” by Kristin Neff. Cause boy oh boy do you deserve a little self compassion right now!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hey there peterifa ?? Do you have access to a therapist? Can you find one soon? A one on one session with an ocd and trauma specialist could really help you. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. It sounds like you come from an abusive and traumatic background. And I think you deserve a little slack. Can you give yourself some? What you’re going through isn’t easy.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hey, you're a good man you don't deserve this and you can overcome it but not this way. Could you just read again what you wrote and think again? I think you will see that you're pressing yourself, which makes obvious to anyone that you are suffering but you are not a bad person. You are complaining man! That means you don't deserve to feel this way so nothing bad about you just think of it as bad thoughts that you need to be cured of. And I really suggest you should see a thyrabist. I agree with pure o life, you grew up in a bad environment and that's bad but you should try to get better, not to punish yourself. I hope you get better. ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I love you just pray for all who need
- Date posted
- 5y ago
And about feeling numb or feeling nothing about your friend, freud said that if you dreamed of one you care about died and you didn't feel anything and then you hate yourself for not being sad, that you realy care about that person and you will be sad if he died. I think that is similar with you but in real life not in dreaming so don't feel sad about it you just don't see the real problem maybe you were depressed or something then, Idk but I feel something is wrong in here and you didn't solve it. ? Try again bro, you can overcome that?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I really appreciate your words thankyou soo much❤️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Pure o life can i ask you a question!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Do you accept me as a human? As a good one after all this? Do you accept me as brother?.. do you believe that I deserve to live as anyone?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Sometimes I feel nothing and that scares me more
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
I don't even know if I should put this here, but I have the greatest girlfriend in the whole world, and I love her very much, but my thoughts keep saying I'm going to hurt her, so I can hurt God and idk what to do, I feel so disgusted and idk what to do, and the worst part is why does some part of me just not even care idk what to do anymore, it's almost like I'm turning into this horrible person and idk what to do, I'm really not sure what to do. I have really been able to be happy I just feel like I don't deserve it and I want to care about people and God and I want to be a good person, but a part of me shuts off my caring nature and idk what to do, I'm really freaking out because it's like IDC and idk what to do I just feel so nasty and scared because why don't I feel like I care. Why does it feel like it's something I wanna do idk, what to do I'm really freaking worried. Also I don't want OCD but a part of me says I need it or I like these thoughts and idk what to do, as im writing this i just feel like laughing and idk what to do, i really judt want jesus to hug me and say everything will be alright, i am such a monster....
- Date posted
- 15w ago
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond