Peeps with rocd, do you guys ever get thoughts/feelings of irritation of why does my partner love and cares for me so much and why does he wants to be with me. Or is it only me?

Yes. I get this with not only romantic relationships but ALL relationships. (I feel like people forget rocd is for all relationships too, or at least for I know it is). I’ve found that it’s because deep down I really don’t like me at all. I hate me. So inside my own head, logically why would anyone love me? It doesn’t make sense? It’s just my own bias though, and I might be a pretty swell dude. I’m really trying to learn to love myself recently. I think this might be the key.

I think a lot of people with OCD worry a lot about feeling nothing, but normal people walk around feeling nothing a lot of the time. People aren’t meant to walk around dizzy in love every second of the day. But people with OCD take the natural ebbs and flows of feeling as a terrible sign. I also think you can’t force yourself to love someone, even if they sacrifice stuff for you. But you can decide to be a caring partner. You can choose to listen, share, provide support, and build a life together. And fuzzy feelings aren’t required for that. I also think that OCD is paradoxical. Whatever you don’t want to think and feel will become an intrusive thought. Whatever you want to think and feel will disappear. The harder you try to force it, the farther away it goes. Rather than forcing love, refocus on just being with him, being a good partner, and accepting the good things he offers as a partner. Love might happen again. Or it might not. But it definitely won’t by force. And it won’t just because you worry enough about it.

It’s a pretty normal reaction to feel guilty about all the thoughts we have, especially for how much time we spend on them and how much they effect our lives. Try to give yourself a break. It may be hard for you to see why they love you, but I bet they see a million reasons.

Sure

Yesterday I was feeling incredibly numb towards my boyfriend, and I was going to see him so I was feeling really anxious about not feeling anything when I was going to be with him. But at one point I just let myself feel, I said "Its fine, its your right to feel numb, today you can feel this way, dont judge yourself" and I actually got to enjoy the moment with my boyfriend. However it is not always this way, sometimes Im with him and I still dont feel totally good and that really scares me but I need to start letting myself just feel. So this is an advice I think I can give you! Just let yourself feel. I have been two weeks without the ugly anxiety and that has made me cry, get really worried and feel really numb,but I guess it is part of this. Someone told me " The problem is not your numbness, the problem is your perception of it" Hope it helps you. Keep holding on!

It’s a personal preference if you want to have an arranged marriage. But yours isn’t. So I don’t see how pretending yours is helps.

Yeah, u r right... I'll change thinking that way.

If you’re feeling bad about feeling nothing and then seeking out memories where you felt a lot to compare to, you’re inevitably going to feel bad. It seems like you feel bad and you’re almost looking to feel worse. If you constantly compare your day-to-day boring moments to your happiest moments, regardless of OCD or not, you’re inevitably going to feel crappy. Wouldn’t is be great to be having your greatest moments all the time? Sure. But that sounds pretty unrealistic doesn’t it? Plus, how can one moment be amazing if all of them are? The reason they’re amazing is because they stand out.

Aww thank you for such a sweet reply. Mind If i ask another question @pureoflife.?

so sometimes I feel nothing. No deep down feeling of love for my bf or knowing deep down that i love him. No warm feeling, no gratification, no fuzzy feeling, no feeling of anything... Is it normal.? All i care about is falling back in love with him, and not giving up our sacrifices. Specially his sacrifices. He did so much, how could i possibly leave him? All i know at the end of the day i want to get better and love him again the way i used to 2 months ago. It sure is scary and upsetting thinking that what if I do not love him. But rn there's no reassuring to my own self that I love him the way i used to 2 weeks ago. My heart is completely numb and empty. Idk what i want ecxept for loving him again. I'm scared that I might actually have nothing in my heart and I'm just holding on to prevent heart break and because he loves me, not because i wanna stay... Idk it's so confusing and idk what i want. Sometimes I even feel like he is so clingy and his love is only holding me and his clinginess. What do i do..... Idk what i want because it's so confusing

Thank you so much for you reply @pureoflife and @xMariax. I have something to say and ask too. I'm Sorry for bothering and i might be seeking reassurance but I'll uninstall this app so maybe some more advice would be good.. if you want to.. otherwise I don't want to bother. The perspective i see things from sometimes is like this: I've been raised up in a culture where arrange marriages are common and number one. I tell myself that one day God forbids that I don't feel love or that i do fall out of love, which is scary to me.... I'll stay with him. We plan on getting married next year, and i told myself that when we marry and if I don't get better by then I'll consider it as an arrange marriage. The compatibly is there, we click a lot. And laugh a lot together. Idl it's just a perspective i see things from. Is it wrong to think that way. Because if it is, then i should stop. And focus on loving and being better.. And my bf said don't worry i have faith you'll be fine and love me. He said he can feel the love and see how much i love him. He smiles and says that he's never seen a girl love him this much. He said dw about what's in your heart or mind. You worry about my heart. Love me. Care for me. Support me. And Everything i feel/think will go away...

Not pretending. But maybe seeing things from a different perspective. I'm so over this anxieties. I'm going with the flow

I don’t think a different perspective is seeing your marriage as something it’s not. If it wasn’t arranged, it’s not an arranged marriage. If you see it otherwise it’s pretending.

Btw, does anyone has these moments where they compare how they felt in the beginning vs now. Fr eg my bf sent me a cake and a card sayin Everything will be fine and to trust him. I got teary eyed.. not cried but i had those warm feelings. Then suddenly i started comparing that how i felt in the beginning of the relationship when he gave me gifts... And it ruined everything for me....