I’m shaking. Just found out my boyfriend of almost a year has a wife and kids in his home country of Egypt. I had someone look for his Facebook and it turns out he was hiding his Facebook from me the entire time. He turned emotionally abusive and I was dependent on him after I lost my job. He told me he wanted to marry me and have my kids, would go hot and cold between me being the love of his life and him lashing out and being resentful to me. When I confronted him about Facebook that’s when he tried to leave for good and said he was in another relationship, and when I found the family pics that’s when he blocked me. I will have trust issues for life. I can’t believe what’s happening I’m in shock shaking.

I messaged the wife of 12 YEARS on Facebook and she thanked me and said she asked him for a divorce today. He is going crazy apparently. Karmas a bitch. I’m still in shock though. Apparently his family never knew about me and he would say all these things they would say about me.

He is in Dubai where I lived with him and I have an overdue phone contract bill he promised he would take care of and some stuff I need sent back. I am afraid to try and email him. He blocked me. I feel so sick to my stomach! All the memories and sex and love he claimed he had for me. Then in the final weeks he says he doesn’t love me anymore, found someone new, love other people more (he told me he never loved anyone more than me), and he downplayed the whole relationship, all while he was trying to break up with me and I kept begging. Then when I saw the truth and showed him I knew about his family he just gave up and blocked me like a coward. I feel so used and like a fool. I see pics of him with his kids and it’s so strange and devastating for me I feel like I’m looking at a different person. My self esteem is at its lowest and I am super attached to this man. Idk how to heal properly. I’m still unemployed and broke.

I know this kind of stuff can be really hard to digest but his choices aren’t a reflection of anything you did. I’ve had trust issues with people but you have to take the time to understand who the other person is before persuing a relationship with them. Try and use this as an opportunity rather than a loss.

i’m so terribly sorry. i know it’s easier said than done, but try to look at this is a good thing. i mean, what if you had never found out about this and followed through with all those plans for the future? and then what if you found out about all the lies AFTER you guys got married and had kids—that would be even worse. you got this!!

This is terrible, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Trust is such a delicate and complex thing. But look at it this way, it's better that you found out now rather than later. He did this to you, he did this to his family. He doesn't deserve anything. You can get your life back and focus on improving it and yourself. You'll find someone who truly loves you, even when everything seems dark you can find the light!

It’s not your fault what he did & the fact he was a habitual liar. I think you would agree the truth shall set you free. Now you can move past this troubling time in life onto something better.

I’m so sorry you had to discover something so terrible and for how horrible you must feel. But thank god you did discover it and in the long run you just dodged a huge bullet. Put this guy out of your life permanently. Block him on everything. And refocus your energy on YOU. You deserve all the caring and compassion right now. Give yourself that.

Thanks for your comments everyone. Now all I worry about is the sexual fetishes he had with me and the masturbation videos he told me to send him. He also took a video of the anatomy of my privates before I left for long distance. From my knowledge my face is not in the videos, but my ocd makes me doubt that of course. I had trusted him fully and now I don’t even know what to think of his character anymore. I keep obsessing he will get revenge on me telling his wife with those videos. He always liked to get revenge when ever I pissed him off in general. Part of me has compassion and knows he loved and cared for me but was forced into a cultural marriage and life he didn’t want and was living his fantasy life abroad. So many mixed emotions right now !

Mixed feelings are normal! Most people feel that! Take care of yourself now. Don’t do compulsions when your OCD pops up, in whatever form. Just sit with the anxiety. Focus on you. It’s okay to have compassion and also to get him out of your life for good because that’s what’s best for you. Leave him to his issues. Focus on yours. YOU need care right now. You need love and understanding and support. Give that to yourself.