- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I messaged the wife of 12 YEARS on Facebook and she thanked me and said she asked him for a divorce today. He is going crazy apparently. Karmas a bitch. I’m still in shock though. Apparently his family never knew about me and he would say all these things they would say about me.
- Date posted
- 6y
He is in Dubai where I lived with him and I have an overdue phone contract bill he promised he would take care of and some stuff I need sent back. I am afraid to try and email him. He blocked me. I feel so sick to my stomach! All the memories and sex and love he claimed he had for me. Then in the final weeks he says he doesn’t love me anymore, found someone new, love other people more (he told me he never loved anyone more than me), and he downplayed the whole relationship, all while he was trying to break up with me and I kept begging. Then when I saw the truth and showed him I knew about his family he just gave up and blocked me like a coward. I feel so used and like a fool. I see pics of him with his kids and it’s so strange and devastating for me I feel like I’m looking at a different person. My self esteem is at its lowest and I am super attached to this man. Idk how to heal properly. I’m still unemployed and broke.
- Date posted
- 6y
I know this kind of stuff can be really hard to digest but his choices aren’t a reflection of anything you did. I’ve had trust issues with people but you have to take the time to understand who the other person is before persuing a relationship with them. Try and use this as an opportunity rather than a loss.
- Date posted
- 6y
i’m so terribly sorry. i know it’s easier said than done, but try to look at this is a good thing. i mean, what if you had never found out about this and followed through with all those plans for the future? and then what if you found out about all the lies AFTER you guys got married and had kids—that would be even worse. you got this!!
- Date posted
- 6y
This is terrible, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Trust is such a delicate and complex thing. But look at it this way, it's better that you found out now rather than later. He did this to you, he did this to his family. He doesn't deserve anything. You can get your life back and focus on improving it and yourself. You'll find someone who truly loves you, even when everything seems dark you can find the light!
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s not your fault what he did & the fact he was a habitual liar. I think you would agree the truth shall set you free. Now you can move past this troubling time in life onto something better.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m so sorry you had to discover something so terrible and for how horrible you must feel. But thank god you did discover it and in the long run you just dodged a huge bullet. Put this guy out of your life permanently. Block him on everything. And refocus your energy on YOU. You deserve all the caring and compassion right now. Give yourself that.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks for your comments everyone. Now all I worry about is the sexual fetishes he had with me and the masturbation videos he told me to send him. He also took a video of the anatomy of my privates before I left for long distance. From my knowledge my face is not in the videos, but my ocd makes me doubt that of course. I had trusted him fully and now I don’t even know what to think of his character anymore. I keep obsessing he will get revenge on me telling his wife with those videos. He always liked to get revenge when ever I pissed him off in general. Part of me has compassion and knows he loved and cared for me but was forced into a cultural marriage and life he didn’t want and was living his fantasy life abroad. So many mixed emotions right now !
- Date posted
- 6y
Mixed feelings are normal! Most people feel that! Take care of yourself now. Don’t do compulsions when your OCD pops up, in whatever form. Just sit with the anxiety. Focus on you. It’s okay to have compassion and also to get him out of your life for good because that’s what’s best for you. Leave him to his issues. Focus on yours. YOU need care right now. You need love and understanding and support. Give that to yourself.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I’m just full of emotions right now. I feel like I just want to explode. I broke up with my ex a week ago he keeps texting me saying I love you I don’t respond because I don’t pay no mind. What’s bothering me is why did I let this dude use me and I trusted him. He manipulated and used me and I have serious trust issues I never tell anyone what I go through because it’s not safe at all. I feel like I don’t want to trust a guy ever again yes I’m 19 and I’m still young and should date but I don’t have the energy anymore. I attract terrible men that use me and I cave in to easy because I’m lonely and my life is miserable and even doing the things I used to like feel like a chore. I told my sister this today and she said I should be patient that the right man will come to me. But I feel like even if he did I would reject him because I’m an easy person to take advantage of.
- Date posted
- 20w
Hello, this is my first day here. Ran across this app on social media. I hope you finish reading. Wanted to see if anyone was somewhere in my shoes that can possibly give me some advice. Ive been in a relationship with my partner for 6 going on 7 months, we will call them H for now. At first, everything was so prefect, laughs, conversations, so much affection. Recently caught H on a dating app 10 days after my birthday, on the 4month mark, and the app was hiding it in their hidden tab section on your iPhones. The conversations were all deleted except for one. That one conversation happened to be with one of my old friends that I fell out with because they were moving in a snake way. They reached out to me via social media and told me about H’s dating account. With me having the evidence, H was seeking out attention from other people while I was away at work. Asking to be best friends and asking for their social media information. When confronting H about the messages I had, they denied it being them claiming that it’s a fake page and they got those pictures off of H’s social accounts. H opened their phone to try and show me they didn’t have the app. When i seen the hidden tab I asked H to open it. H hesitated but proceeded to opening the tab. Boom. The dating app was in the tab with the “fake profile’s account and pictures” but the text messages were all gone. H agreed to delete the dating app and unfollow the accounts they asked for on their. H thennnn proceeded to try and negotiate to keep them on their account or they would delete social media in general. Of course that won’t sit right with me so we agreed to both be off social media. Everything got better until, H was using the restroom and was in there for a while so I went to the restroom and just talk with H. As I opened the door, H quickly swipes out the app and turns the phone off. I asked H to turn it back on and unlock it and open the hidden tab. The social medias we both agreed to get off of was in the hidden’s tab once again. Now my trust has completely been shattered but I still love H. However, my real point here is, I do think that H has damaged me and I don’t think I can’t trust them even tho H swears they won’t do it again. I do also feel like I am doing too much and putting my anger and frustration against H because of what they did. I am lost and confused and need some advice on what you would do?
- Date posted
- 17w
So I have POCD & now ROCD because I’m in my first relationship. My boyfriend is a few years older than me and was born and raised in Turkey before he came to the U.S. in his early 20s. I’ve read that Turkish culture takes pride in their children, with holidays such as Children’s Day, too. So they are used to bonding with children in a non-creepy way lol (I’ve seen it before, it is a *slight* cultural difference between my culture and his but it’s very sweet) I grew up SA’d as a child and I told my boyfriend, so he knows. Yet he’s said a few things that have caught me off guard. - When I told him there was a chance I was mleafed as a child, we were cuddling and he readjusted himself in a funny way before saying “sorry, I mlested you.” I let it go because English is not his first language and he was probably just trying to be funny to lighten the mood because I was crying and he might have thought that I interpreted him re-adjusting himself as him hitting on me. (Right?) Even when we have daily conversations, he doesn’t understand about 25% of what I say, and I don’t think he’s been learning English when it comes to any of these kinds of topics that I’m speaking about. Sometimes he says stuff just to say it. But still, he understood the context we were speaking in and still tried to make a “joke.” - When I talk to him about my nieces (who I loved and adore and whose mother refers to me as their second mother) he once said that they’ll love him because he s good with kids. Okay sure. Then he said “they’re gonna be like ouuuh, he’s so handsome!” and I was like?? Why are you thinking about that I’m so deeply upset. He’s my first everything. I grew up with my mom defending the monster that abused me & my sister and I always swore I was never going to be that. And I won’t. Sometimes I just can’t tell if I’m overthinking because of my OCD. Because it’s also very extreme to assume someone is a monster like this! But OCD is extreme! And so it’s so hard for me to understand. I’m heartbroken because I feel so vulnerable. He was all I had. Now I feel like I’m gonna f*ck him up if he’s any type of weird like I think he might be. I hate everything sm. All I wanted was someone who loved me, someone I could love, and I’m terrified that I might be with someone who’s sick in the head, just like my father. I feel like throwing up and raging.
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