I’m scared to do exposure therapy and not ready at all for it even though I’ve had OCD for so long. I’m scared I’ll be forced to touch things I don’t want to due to OCD or be forced to express my disgusting thoughts out loud. Is it okay that I feel scared? Should I be? Advice?
One way or another you have to fight! Fighting is scary. But it will get easier!
Of course it’s ok to feel scared. ERP is literally exposing you to the stuff you’re scared of. However, your therapist should have a hierarchy for you where you start with the less scary stuff and work your way up
You probably spend a lot of your time either afraid, anxious or doing compulsions as it is. With ERP you start with the least scary stuff and then work your way up. Don’t worry about what you may or may not need to do after you’ve been in treatment for awhile. You can start slow in terms of details about your thoughts - just know that NOCD and other places that specialize in OCD have therapist have heard many disgusting and horrific thoughts and know they are coming from OCD not you - they will help not judge. Of course you are scared - OCD sucks, confronting fears sucks. But it’s better to do ERP then keep living with OCD that will only get worse. Go for it. You can do it.
Don't build it up into some insurmountable obstacle in your mind before you get there. They are therapists and they are there to help. However a certain amount of courage will be needed at times. Remember, courage/bravery is not the lack of fear, it is feeling the fear and doing what needs to be done despite the fear. Be brave. You can do this!