@rathernot Sorry for the late response, I’ve been at sea in the reception isn’t very good.
I smiled really big when I read this, because you remind me of myself in my earlier days! I saw exactly how you do, in regards to what “thoughts” are and “thinking” is. I thought that humans “think” all day too. What you’re confusing is, that thoughts and thinking are two completely different things! They are separate from each other.
Thoughts are what humans have every single day almost every single second of every single minute.
Thinking is something we do! I’ll give you a good example.
Let’s say you’re walking down the street in from out of nowhere a random person on the street yells that you are a unicorn! That random person yelling at you, is like a thought in your head. That thought was completely random, you had nothing to do with it. It’s just something that happened, just like thoughts happen every single minute of every single second of every single day. You don’t really have a reaction from that random person yelling at you. You just say- “Hmm that was odd?” And you continue walking down the street to your destination.
Now, let’s say that same person on the street yells out- “You are a unicorn!”
So, let’s say this time you DO react to what that random person yelled out in the street to you. You start “thinking”
“Oh? Am I really a unicorn? Do I have a horn on my head? Am I a colorful rainbow? What if I’m not human? Are other people going to judge me? Maybe I should just start avoiding everyone, so I’m not embarrassed? I probably shouldn’t go to work today. You know what, I’m going to avoid going down this street for now on. Wait, am I even breathing right now? Am I even real? Maybe I should hold my breath to see if I’m alive? maybe I should pinch myself? Why am I so focused on my breath right now?
As you can see a random thought, like someone yelling at you from the street, was something that you can’t control. Just like you can’t control random thoughts that pop into your head. Thoughts will always come to your head, it’s just something that your brain does. You can’t avoid them.
But thinking is something that you do control. You have the choice to think about certain random things that pop into your head.
Some thoughts can be beneficial to you, like hey your mortgage is due tomorrow, you should probably pay that.. then simply go write out a check and mail it. You don’t have to “think” about the consequences if you don’t pay your mortgage though.
If I put a math equation in front of you and I tell you to solve it, then, yes, it’s beneficial for you to”think” about solving the math problem. BUT it’s something you do! And if I tell you to stop solving the math equation, then you have the option of stopping, or continuing to think about solving the equation!
I was exactly like you, I thought everything that my brain threw up was important, and it was a part of me, and it was my identity. But through practice, teaching and therapy, that simply isn’t true. You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are completely separate from you. I struggled from cognitive fusion, which is thinking your thoughts are of importance because they are part of your identity. But what we need to practice is cognitive diffusion, which is understanding they are completely different!
A great thing I love to ask people is, what is your trust score? What I mean by that is how much do you trust your self, rather than trusting the random thoughts that come to your head?
Your self and your values will never steer you wrong. Your values is your moral compass. The thoughts in your head are just random thoughts in your head.
You know you need to pay your mortgage on time. So that bumps your trust score up a point. You know not to drive your car into incoming traffic so that bumps a point up in your score while you’re driving to work, or the grocery store, etc. You don’t have to think about the consequences of not paying your mortgage. You don’t have to think of the consequences of driving your car into incoming traffic. You know you have to purchase fruits, vegetables, meat, and prepare them in your kitchen to nourish your body. You don’t have to think of the consequences of all the germs in your kitchen or poisoning a loved one, etc.
What’s your trust score? And what do you value? Do you value spending time and energy on the things going on in your head? Or do you value spending time with loved ones, nourishing your body and setting goals that are close to you? 😊