- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
When he’s out, find things to do that are fun and distracting. It will go a long way. A little introspection might help too. Like: what do you fear is happening if he’s not responding? How likely is it that what you fear is true? Could you sit with the uncertainty of it maybe being true for a little longer to see if he eventually responds? Trust issues are common and exasperated by OCD. Don’t let it turn you into a controlling person though. Remember: this is YOUR issue to solve. Not his. Hopefully he can be understanding and supportive and all those things, obviously. But making himself available and online to you 24/7 is not the answer. Building trust and working on your OCD is. Good luck!
- Date posted
- 6y
I am sorry about your past relationships but I know that for me I was in that type of relationship and it hurt a lot! But remember to embrace the un-reassurance and say you know what I love my boyfriend, my past WILL NOT and DOES NOT define me. keep writing your affirmations down. You got this girl!!?
- Date posted
- 6y
I shouldn’t have scrolled this far to find this message because I think I’m seeking reassurance at this point, but I am experiencing this exact same thing right now. I caught My current boyfriend messaging another girl sexual things and that really triggered me. Before even knowing I had ocd, that alone created some very serious trust issues, I decided to give him another chance and we’re doing much better now. I am however, always checking his status online if he doesn’t reply to me which triggers rumination of “is he messaging another girl? Who is he talking to? Why didn’t he answer me? Why is he ignoring me?” And to make matters worse, he travels a lot for work too... so we do have time apart (which should be a very good very healthy thing) but my OCD pokes holes in and situation or conversation to believe he is cheating ... how did you manage with this??
- Date posted
- 6y
It sounds to me like you actually have very good reason not to trust him: he betrayed that trust in the past. While your OCD is certainly making you obsess about the possibilities more than other people, at the core you have real evidence that he’s not a very trustworthy person. And you should take that seriously. However, you should also realize that his status online or the length of time that elapses between replies has no correlation with whether or not he’s being unfaithful and you’ll need to stop looking for false clues there. You can manage your side by accepting that you decided to take the risk of being with him and now there’s nothing you can do to ensure he’ll be faithful. You just have to trust. It’s out of your control.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yah we’re growing that trust back and we are very happy as we’ve gotten to a much much better place but the compulsions are really driving me crazy ....... I’m always checking and checking and evaluating and ruminating and it’s exhausting not to mention taking up SO much of my day
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi all, I’m F(20) and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend M(20) for 10 months now. Lately it feels like I’ve been getting triggered at the tiniest thing. My relationship OCD is centered around the idea that my bf will leave me, that suddenly his feelings will change and he’ll never look back. Inherently I know this is irrational and I know he loves me very much (as he tells me repeatedly when I compulsively ask for reassurance). I just can’t make my brain stop. I just feel so unsecured. He will mention that one of his friends drove an hour to see him for only 30 minutes. I will then spiral that I am not possibly doing enough and it’s because he’s secretly done with me and he’s longing for a reason to leave and go be with this friend instead. See? Truly irrational. But I cannot stop it. Any tips at all? Maybe I’m at least not alone in this. I often feel literally insane:(
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m struggling a ton rn and would love some insight from people. My bf and I broke up bc my OCD got to the point where it was extremely damaging to my exes mental health. We’ve been on a break for the last 2 months while I get therapy and help and he wants to try again in August. We talk everyday and fall asleep on the phone but I’m miserable anxious about what he’s been doing during the break. My mind is flooded with the idea that he might follow new girls on Instagram or he flirting and talking to new girls. It’s KILLING me. I’ve made up an entire situation w no proof. And I’m scared it’s not my OCD talking but a gut feeling. I know we aren’t together but it’s not fair to emotionally invest in each other if he’s not being loyal like I am. I’m just losing my mind and need help honestly.
- Date posted
- 14w
Hi I'm new to all of this so I hope I'm doing this right. 5 years ago my 34 year marriage ended. My ex husband was a mentally and financially abusive, covert narcissist. All that is behind me now and I'm finally remembering who I am again. I'm in a relationship with a really great guy but the problem I'm having is relationship OCD. This has taken me by surprise really as I've had OCD from a very young age but never has it been about my relationship. I constantly check messages and go over and over conversations and convince myself my partner will eventually cheat. Almost every single person in his life I can feel threatened by and I hate this for him and also for me as I don't have any peace of mind. This is ruining the lovely relationship I know I could have so I really need to get a handle on it. Has anybody else experienced this and managed to control it?
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