- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
When he’s out, find things to do that are fun and distracting. It will go a long way. A little introspection might help too. Like: what do you fear is happening if he’s not responding? How likely is it that what you fear is true? Could you sit with the uncertainty of it maybe being true for a little longer to see if he eventually responds? Trust issues are common and exasperated by OCD. Don’t let it turn you into a controlling person though. Remember: this is YOUR issue to solve. Not his. Hopefully he can be understanding and supportive and all those things, obviously. But making himself available and online to you 24/7 is not the answer. Building trust and working on your OCD is. Good luck!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I am sorry about your past relationships but I know that for me I was in that type of relationship and it hurt a lot! But remember to embrace the un-reassurance and say you know what I love my boyfriend, my past WILL NOT and DOES NOT define me. keep writing your affirmations down. You got this girl!!?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I shouldn’t have scrolled this far to find this message because I think I’m seeking reassurance at this point, but I am experiencing this exact same thing right now. I caught My current boyfriend messaging another girl sexual things and that really triggered me. Before even knowing I had ocd, that alone created some very serious trust issues, I decided to give him another chance and we’re doing much better now. I am however, always checking his status online if he doesn’t reply to me which triggers rumination of “is he messaging another girl? Who is he talking to? Why didn’t he answer me? Why is he ignoring me?” And to make matters worse, he travels a lot for work too... so we do have time apart (which should be a very good very healthy thing) but my OCD pokes holes in and situation or conversation to believe he is cheating ... how did you manage with this??
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It sounds to me like you actually have very good reason not to trust him: he betrayed that trust in the past. While your OCD is certainly making you obsess about the possibilities more than other people, at the core you have real evidence that he’s not a very trustworthy person. And you should take that seriously. However, you should also realize that his status online or the length of time that elapses between replies has no correlation with whether or not he’s being unfaithful and you’ll need to stop looking for false clues there. You can manage your side by accepting that you decided to take the risk of being with him and now there’s nothing you can do to ensure he’ll be faithful. You just have to trust. It’s out of your control.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yah we’re growing that trust back and we are very happy as we’ve gotten to a much much better place but the compulsions are really driving me crazy ....... I’m always checking and checking and evaluating and ruminating and it’s exhausting not to mention taking up SO much of my day
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w ago
Right now, i’m waiting for a response from my partner. Yesterday, we got into a serious conversation about the repeated cycle of reassurance seeking and extreme anxiety. he’s been so incredibly patient but I think he’s hit a crosswords in that if I don’t make serious, healthier changes, he does not see the relationship continuing in a healthy or meaningful way anymore. This morning, I told him I wanted to give him space and to respond once he felt comfortable. I attended a support group today but I am consumed with spiraling, obsessive thoughts due to his lack of response now that it’s 5pm and I sent that text at 8am. I dont want to overwhelm him but i just dont know how to sit with the uncertainty. I feel like his lack of response and communication today means he wants to break up. I feel sick and cannot eat. I dont know what to do- any suggestions or thoughts?
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 14w ago
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
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