Anyone else?

Does anyone sometimes just sit and wonder how they could even have such thoughts? What could possibly have happened to make you start thinking like this, to make you genuinely fear that you are sick in the head even though you never felt or thought this way prior. Sometimes I wonder what I could have done differently in the past to have prevented this, how much better my life would be without it. My mind has successfully ruined days that I know would've been good. I can't look forward to anything anymore because I know it will be ruined

Username: Fs144Fs144

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes all the time I always ask myself “why did this have to happen to me” and this just started happening to me out of the blue like I had intrusive thoughts all the time but they weren’t ever that bad to the point I obsess over them now it’s so bad I cry everyday and I don’t go out my room and my bf even asks why I’m sad everyday I just don’t know how to tell him I don’t know what to do anymore I can’t even talk to anyone because I’m scared of getting intrusive thoughts or images I been really suicidal lately I don’t know what to do I just turned 17 and I’m supposed to be happy and enjoy Life but I can’t I also very depressed suicide is on my mind 24/7

Username: Isabel DavisIsabel Davis

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous Suicide as a theme of OCD or are you willing to plan? Are you in ERP?

Username: Fs144Fs144

Date posted: 1y ago

@Isabel Davis Like I want to

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes me too. Constantly. However, I have a problem. I was so hellbent on proving that a particular thought was unwanted that I inadvertently made those thoughts reflex. This is horrible and I was telling myself all last night that I just want to forget, but do I really desrve to? It's like I am becoming what I fear the most. I need CBT and some form of amnesiac because that's the only way I'll put an end to this madness. It's like I was so caught up on the idea of having OCD that I forgot why I developed an OCD in the first place.

Username: Dee CDee C

Date posted: 1y ago

I can remember the day like it was yesterday. However, it was many years ago. I remember coming home pissed at myself and it was an awful day at work. I smoked a joint & began doing some exercise. I experienced my first panic attack and I couldn’t sleep. I kept praying, asking god to please don’t let me go crazy. The next day I woke up and shaken but had to go to work. Came back home, lit another joint and had another panic attack. I swear the pot I was smoking was laced. PCP was big in those days but I wanted no part of that stuff. I quit “cold turkey” and haven’t smoked pot in 40+ years and I was never the same. And I’m still on my journey. I can’t unwind the clock and still moving forward. Stay strong everyone!!!✌🏽

Username: Isabel DavisIsabel Davis

Date posted: 1y ago

My mom has OCD and passed it to me. She felt fear was safety, she was a great mother but everything lead to death. I was taught to not trust others or myself

Username: Anon17

Date posted: 2y ago

Can anyone relate?

Woke up this morning immediately looking for the thoughts that I’ve been having even though i don’t want to think about them. I feel like i ended up bringing them upon myself and then i had a super gruesome thought and have been worrying about it all morning. Is it possible to bring thoughts upon yourself? Is it ocd or is it just me? I’m just so scared of going “crazy” that i keep looking for thoughts deciding if it’s me or not if you know what i mean. It’s such a scary feeling When you feel like you don’t know who you are 😭 i literally am just petrified of completely losing sense of who i am and doing something bad and being locked away forever. Is it possible to just turn bad? Does anybody know what i mean by that? Like you secretly have a double ego and completely turn into somebody different? Does anyone else experience this? Is it ocd? I’m so scared i feel like i can never catch a break.

Harm OCD

Username: Becca1996

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Feel like you’ve ruined your life?

Anyone feel like you have ruined your life through giving into ocd compulsions? Or the choices you made in life that led to ocd symptoms getting sparked in the first place? I know healing is very possible, but right now i am remembering so many important moments in my life that have been “robbed” by ocd… :( I know this may continue to happen. The intrusive thoughts. The numb emotions. The constant checking to see if I’m in the present moment, which is exactly what takes me from the present moment. I wish I could go back in time and make different choices so my ocd didn’t flair up and rob important moments in my life that I had dreamed of for so long. Feeling bitter. Have you been where I am right now?

Username: lcc1999

Date posted: 1y ago

Obsessing over the cause of my OCD

Has anyone spent time thinking of what might have caused their OCD in general or their current episode to start. I thought about all the times I used to self harm by hitting myself in the face or previous accidental concussions and I sometimes beat myself up about it. I briefly thought about a brain tumour too. I just think "Why me?" "Why now?". This summer coming is suppose to be the best one I've ever had and OCD decided to rear its ugly head at the worst possible time. I wish it came up when I had nothing to look forward to and no hope because at least then I wouldn't fear it ruining everything. Now when I started to build my life back up I have to deal with this. I just hope being with the love of my life and travelling with her will take my mind off all the memories and thoughts.

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