- Date posted
- 2y
What is life like without OCD
Many times I wonder about this: what is life like without OCD? How would my life be if I wasn't dealing/struggling/suffering from OCD
Many times I wonder about this: what is life like without OCD? How would my life be if I wasn't dealing/struggling/suffering from OCD
well i can say with what i know before i had ocd, because i only started suffering when i turned 16 and was pretty much normal before that. itâs basically SO MUCH more peaceful hahah, i remember i would think so much less and used to imagine up lots of funny scenarios in my head about people i knew and i was very creative, thinking about different concepts or daydreaming, not obsessively. i didnât have to worry about thinking about anything cos i could make it stop at any time. i thoight about my future and what i wanted to do and did a lot more stuff because i had a lot more general ideas about things i wanted to do in the day like baking or making silly videos or trying something knew. now a lot of the time i kinda sit doing nothing ruminating haha- im trying to stop. itâs also like i never thought if i was a bad person or had guilt or anything, i thought i was a pretty good person and i liked myself a lot more. i also wasnât at all paranoid, i had some social anxiety that made me overthink but that was the only time i would overthink without being able to stop. and yeh it was pretty chill and i just kinda did whatever i wanted without being scared and never thought bad stuff would happen.
I think it's going to be really freeing. This is why I hope everyone struggling gets the help they need. Things will get better
I never doubted who I was and how I would act. I was very grounded in being me. I really donât remember have many intrusive thoughts, I know they say everyone has them but mine were very few and far between. If one did come up I think âyuck that was a bad thoughtâ and go about my day. When ocd happened it was like a light switch, it even mysteriously went away a few days later but then returned. That was ages ago before much was know about ocd. At least now we have more understanding.
I wonder this often
For those who have had success with medication for OCD/anxiety, how is your life different now compared to before starting medication?
I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.
I know everything im dealing with is OCD. I have accepted that, but I just feel down. I donât want to live the rest of my life like this. I just want to be free from this horrible illness. Any positive stories and recovery journeys will help. What did recovery look like for you? I used to be so happy, I miss it so much. This feels like itâs taken everything from me. How do you just live your life despite how you feel? Any hope will help!
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