- Date posted
- 2y ago
What is life like without OCD
Many times I wonder about this: what is life like without OCD? How would my life be if I wasn't dealing/struggling/suffering from OCD
Many times I wonder about this: what is life like without OCD? How would my life be if I wasn't dealing/struggling/suffering from OCD
well i can say with what i know before i had ocd, because i only started suffering when i turned 16 and was pretty much normal before that. itâs basically SO MUCH more peaceful hahah, i remember i would think so much less and used to imagine up lots of funny scenarios in my head about people i knew and i was very creative, thinking about different concepts or daydreaming, not obsessively. i didnât have to worry about thinking about anything cos i could make it stop at any time. i thoight about my future and what i wanted to do and did a lot more stuff because i had a lot more general ideas about things i wanted to do in the day like baking or making silly videos or trying something knew. now a lot of the time i kinda sit doing nothing ruminating haha- im trying to stop. itâs also like i never thought if i was a bad person or had guilt or anything, i thought i was a pretty good person and i liked myself a lot more. i also wasnât at all paranoid, i had some social anxiety that made me overthink but that was the only time i would overthink without being able to stop. and yeh it was pretty chill and i just kinda did whatever i wanted without being scared and never thought bad stuff would happen.
I think it's going to be really freeing. This is why I hope everyone struggling gets the help they need. Things will get better
I never doubted who I was and how I would act. I was very grounded in being me. I really donât remember have many intrusive thoughts, I know they say everyone has them but mine were very few and far between. If one did come up I think âyuck that was a bad thoughtâ and go about my day. When ocd happened it was like a light switch, it even mysteriously went away a few days later but then returned. That was ages ago before much was know about ocd. At least now we have more understanding.
I wonder this often
Looking back, I realize Iâve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasnât diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldnât explain: "What if God isnât real? What happens when we die? How do I know Iâm real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didnât want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. Sheâd say, "Maybe youâll kill yourselfâwho knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. Iâm working again, Iâm sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If youâre scared to try ERP, I get it. But if youâre already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
I want to beat OCD because I have seen and felt the benefits of clearing my brain from unnecessary, pointless, thoughts. OCD is like 0 calorie food. Itâs pointless. No nutrition or benefits come from my obsessions or compulsions. I donât care to have answers to everything anymore. I catch myself just trying to stress myself out so that I have some worry to feed on. But like I said, itâs a 0 calorie food. I get nothing from it but wasted time and energy. My brain feels more spacious when Iâm not consumed by OCD. Iâm present. My personality has room to be herself without making space for bullshit. I tell myself now that worry is poison. I think Willie Nelson was the person I got that quote from? Anyways, that imagery of worries being poison for the mind has been transformative for me. Iâm evolving. đ Thanks NOCD community.
Anyone else feel that when they arenât experiencing a theme that their ocd is almost non existent. It almost makes me feel like Iâve been faking it, and also makes me feel ridiculous for obsessing over things. I feel sorry for myself :/ I know that my themes are valid and felt very real in the moment, but after I âget overâ them I just canât believe that I was obsessing over something that either wasnât true or didnât apply to me. I would also like to know how to prevent themes from reoccurring. Health, religion and existential OCD themes tend to take turns throughout my life, I just didnât know that was it ocd. Trying to break the cycle.
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