having trouble with rocd

hi! I'm really struggling with rocd right now. I have a boyfriend that I'm very in love with, and havent doubted that until now. I've been struggling with what I think is derealization, which has caused myself to feel distant from him, and like he isnt actually my boyfriend. because of this, I now I keep getting repetitive intrusive thoughts that I dont love him, and that I never loved him, and that I don't even know him. its terrifying. I've told him about this, and hes very supportive. he knows I still love him, and just wants to help me. but I'm so terrified of these thoughts to the point of almost believing them. if anyone else has struggled with this, how do you cope? I've been trying to reassure myself of my memories of him, and looking at things I do currently that show I still have love for him, but I would love some other ideas since it's still hard to convince myself. thank u!!

Relationship OCD

Username: calicocookiecalicocookie

Date posted: 1y ago

I'm currently struggling with this but I can't reassure you because that will make you fall deeper into ROCD and just spiral again after a temporary relief. Just try to soothe yourself alone if you can and know that intrusive thoughts are not your reality nor the reality of your feelings for your boyfriend. The very fact you're struggling with these thoughts prove you do indeed love him otherwise you wouldn't even bother coming here to vent, be brave, you can do this ❤️

Username: PrincesssPrincesss

Date posted: 1y ago

Thanks. I hope you come out of this struggle strong as well!

Username: Jesus loves you Jesus loves ...

Date posted: 1y ago

When you say “like he isn’t actually my boyfriend” do you mean he looks like he is a stranger to you. If so, I totally have felt that myself. My husband sometimes seems like an absolute stranger (I actually have struggled with depersonalization/derealization for probably three years now). The fact that you came on here asking this question, shows how much your boyfriend means to you. It bothers you because you care and love your boyfriend. What seems like happened is you began feeling distant and derealization like you described.. and because you felt that it led to those intrusive thoughts. Your brain made that feeling feel much more than it actually was. Thoughts can feel so real sometimes. Like they dwell in your mind so long and you get so deep into the thought that it feels so real. It’s terrible. I know. Maybe try journaling.

Username: peachy!peachy!

Date posted: 1y ago

yeah that is what I meant by it!! lts so nice to see that someone else also struggles with this. this response is so helpful and comforting. I am doing better today than I was when I posted this, but this is helping me understand what happened so I can better deal with it in the future!! thank you so much <3

Username: PrincesssPrincesss

Date posted: 1y ago

I will try that. Thanks a lot.

Username: PrincesssPrincesss

Date posted: 1y ago

I'm going through the same. And it's like random guys pop up in my head and I start worrying. I'm on this constant fear that if u meet someone new and get close. I'll end up falling in love with them. Just identifying them as intrusive hasn't helped with them stopping so much but yes it has taken away the guilt and the intensity of which it affects me. I just remind myself that no matter what happens, I will always choose the man I am with at the end of the Day which also helps.

Username: Milena Dourado

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD

Hello guys. I really need help. I have been questioning for days about “not being in love anymore” or “not loving my partner anymore.” The intrusive thoughts make me feel that this is all real. Why does it feel so real? Sometimes there's an image of me treating him badly or the feeling that I'm angry with him. I started repeating to myself about love being a choice. But then there are new thoughts like "what if I don't want to choose him?" Has anyone please felt this? Did you manage to get away? Are there any exercises I can do? Please, help me! Please.

Relationship OCD

Username: anonymous1963

Date posted: 49w ago

Rocd vs reality

How do people recognize the difference between relationship ocd intrusive thoughts and real thoughts about your relationship? I have been in a relationship for about a year, it’s my first long-term relationship and the healthiest, I am almost 20 years old, and I believe I have rocd (I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s pretty clear to me). The main thoughts I get are “what if I’ll lose feelings for my bf?, what if I don’t love him?, what if I’m gonna break his heart?” (it’s never about if he’s cheating on me or anything like that. He is a really great boyfriend and the best person to ever walk into my life, he isn’t toxic or bad in any way towards me or the relationship). Usually these thoughts occur before my period (luteal phase/pms) but I’m on day 6 of my period and I got these thoughts, which usually isn’t the case as I’ve said before. So I went into a spiral cus I believed that since I got these thoughts at a different time in my cycle, they must be true. Deep down I know I love my boyfriend so much, it’s just so hard to navigate whether or not these thoughts are just fake rocd thoughts or what I’m really thinking. Can anyone else relate?

Username: purpleturtle730

Date posted: 33w ago

rocd

rocd is ruining me and my life and my relationship. i feel so disconnected from my boyfriend bc of it and it’s so frustrating but i also feel so numb that i can’t even feel frustrated or upset or anxious or anything bad when the bad thoughts come bc it’s been so excessive over the past couple of months. i don’t feel anything like i use to and i just wish i could love him peacefully and purely the way i use to with no worry or doubt. i feel like he deserves better bc my mind is constantly telling me i want someone else secretly or makes over analyze anything and everything with him or about him and creates so much doubt in my mind. it feels so real to the point that i feel like i’m betraying him and even though i’m not actually DOING anything to him or behind his back or anything it feels like i would be lying and deceiving him to continue being a good girlfriend and just being good to him if that makes sense. like when i’m actually with him or talking to him it’s mostly good im not thinking badly too much but as soon as he’s gone it all comes and it feels like i’m hiding a different, bad, personality from him when he’s not around. he’s such a good person and i’ve done everything to be so good to him bc i want to and he deserves it all. but inside i feel like don’t know myself at all anymore. i want to get past it but i feel like even if i do i’ll feel like i’m hiding a past betrayal from him. i don’t want to lose him. can anyone help with any of this or share ways they’ve gotten past this.

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having trouble with rocd

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