anonymousN
- Date posted
- 6y
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 6y
I am sorry you are going through this. It sucks, it really does. It is hard. Many people here struggle with it too. I know this might seem as reassurance but take more as an insight, even though your amygdala might not let you process it. Here it is: "People who actually kill or plan on killing people are not overthinkers like you and me. They usually don't write on OCD forums and don't see their feelings as egodystonic the way you do". Now, having said that, how angry are you at your OCD? From the scale of 1 to 10? Do you want to know how you can punish your OCD good? By not giving into compulsions such as checking, ruminating, seeking reassurance and by making your goal just to go on this trip and enjoy it the best you can. I know your OCD is like: "You cannot be there enjoying life because you are such a bad person for having these thoughts". Then you go: "Watch me". You need to accept that those thoughts are "normal" junk farts from your brain and that 9 out of 10 people have them. Yes, the priest, the president, everyone. The difference between you and them? That you feed them with more thinking.
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 6y
If calming yourself isn’t working, try to increase your anxiety instead. Challenge your anxiety to get worse. Actually talk to it: “hey anxiety, is that all you’ve got? Breathing a little fast? I can breath faster. That bad thought? I can have a worse one; watch. Think that’s the worst case scenario? I bet I can come up with one way more horrible!” Your OCD is a bully and sometimes the only way to deal with a bully is to stand up to it and call its bluff.
gabbikinzgabbikinz
- Date posted
- 6y
This really triggered me,please put a warning next time ?
ryryryry
- Date posted
- 6y
This go around with ocd has been more depressing than anxiety-inducing for me too. Keep your head high and enjoy your vacation as much as possible!!!!!
anonymousNanonymousN
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m just trying to come back into reality. Ive been fighting off panic attacks all day . And the images of people being dead even my loved ones is messing with my head on top of that I am extremely tired and these thoughts are not letting me sleep. I leave for my flight tomorrow . And all my excitement is gone . I also keep thinking about everything about the human brain and our bodies and life . It’s stressing me out I can’t stop crying. I feel just not good at all . Trying really hard to calm myself down
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 6y
What if you give yourself some tiny space in your head to visualize many people from these group surrounding you and embracing you, even crying with you because we know how awful those panicky nights are. What if you did some belly breathing and focused your attention just a little on your heart beat. What if you could take a chance and use this as an opportunity to show your brain that your panic is "irrelevant" and that you are still going on vacation even with high anxiety. There are two options, either can be an awful painful experience that will only feed your OCD more or it can be an uncomfortable experience that will teach your OCD who is boss.
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 6y
@pureolife - That is great technique. I agree, actually the best one; however it is not for newbies, I guess. I got reported on this forum for suggesting it. ?
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 6y
I think it can be for newbies as long as you explain how/why to do it. You can’t just tell someone “your thoughts are all true!” and walk away without saying anything else. In this case, I’m explaining the technique (how to do it) and the goal (to challenge anxiety to ramp up, which is essentially calling its bluff.) It’s a proven technique for fighting panic attacks that I think anyone can use, but newbies need to know all that if they want to try it. Otherwise, what your saying is just another trigger for compulsions.
Related posts
blehh
- Date posted
- 6w
helpp
I keep thinking about life and death and all that stuff and it’s making me so upset. I keep thinking about how one day im probably going to be old and on my death bed or something and my whole life will be nothing but a memory and im so scared for that day. i wont have my parents and my younger siblings wont have any of us. time feels like its moving too fast like i feel every second pass and think about how i can never get that moment back and i cant slow down time or go back or even just pause it because its always going and theres nothing i can do about it. And then i start thinking about whats after death and get even more scared because if heaven is real then what is eternity? wont i get bored of doing the same things… forever? and if its not real then what happens is it just nothing? because thats even more scary i don’t want to be nothing because that also means the people i love will be nothing and i wont be able to be with them. And if it’s not that then is it reincarnation? will i have to do this all over again? will the souls of the people i love be with me in their new forms? is the sun “God” because the planets revolve around it and the stars are all of the passed souls? what does it feel like to be a star? will i even just know i died? i have so many questions and the fact that none have an answer and i just have to wait to find out drives me insane. i try to remind myself everyone before me and everyone after me will experience death and loss at one point in their life and that I’m not alone but it doesn’t help. nothing helps. ive had “episodes” like this before when i was around 10-14 about once a year always around May-June which is the month my great grandmother died and June is my birth month which i hate because yk… time passing and aging which i assume is why i always get worse around that time. i was able to kind of ignore or turn it off the past like 3 years but this month its just too much i cant even deal with it. maybe because I’m turning 18? idk but its been bothering me so much and its all i can think about. Even when i seem fine the thoughts are always in there somewhere and some days they’re easier to ignore and others it feels impossible. I just wish I was like those people who can just turn their thoughts off if they don’t like them. My mom says she can do that if she thinks about how her mom died or something she can tell herself she doesn’t want to think about that and just… turn it off?? and thats so shocking to me because i’ve begged a god I don’t even know if I believe in to stop my thoughts and she can just turn them off herself? I don’t have another therapy appointment until next week I wish I could talk to them everyday so it could work faster but instead i’m on here. So if anyone has any advice PLEASE give it to me. I’m so tired it’s making me not enjoy anything in life because it makes me feel like theres no point in anything but I want to feel normal and I want to enjoy things. Sorry for writing so much just had to get this out there. Also i’m not trying to seek reassurance btw I just wanna know how other people coped with this or similar issues😭
izenap
- Date posted
- Yesterday
...
i feel depressed. i’m so tired of living with constant guilt, fear, and pain. i feel so lost and lifeless. i feel like i’m not living for myself anymore. i'm so done with my life. i really hate myself. it’s all my fault. everything that goes wrong and everything that keeps happening to me is all my fault. i feel sorry for the people who have me in their lives. they don’t deserve someone like me. this world doesn’t deserve a person like me. i can’t do this anymore. every night, i keep crying. i just don’t want to wake up the next morning, yet i keep waking up. for me, another day is another suffering. i hate myself so much. i don’t deserve anything good. i hate my really bad and dark thoughts, and i can’t tell whether they are truly mine or not. the guilt is eating me alive, and i feel hopeless and undeserving of forgiveness. my family doesn’t know about my struggles, and i don’t want them to. i don’t want to be a burden or make them feel like they failed as parents. i don’t want to make their lives any harder. i just hate my religious ocd. sometimes i think i’m just making it an excuse. i feel sorry for God and Jesus for being this kind of person. i wish i wasn’t born into this world. i can’t continue living like this. i feel like i’m going insane. i’m just accepting that i’m horrible, and that all those bad thoughts are mine. that i'm disrespectful and a terrible person. i'm not suicidal. i’m just so tired of living like this. i'm not expecting happiness or anything good because i don’t deserve any of it. i feel like a disgusting person. i hate that someone like me still has the courage to show up every day around other people. i deserve all the pain and to drown in it. i just want to vent about what i really feel right now because it feels so heavy and unbearable. i don’t want to make others’ lives miserable or hurt God anymore.
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