I’ve been staying home from school to much because of my fear and I’ve been screaming at my family and crying myself to sleep and sobbing on the floor trying to find answers. Does anyone else fear death?
I fear death and what’s beyond it, but the way I see it is that life is to beautiful to end. Why you may ask? Because no story truly has an end, it’s passes on through the circle of our human life! Life is a gift a true miracle to see breathe move walk talk all of these amazing things and amazing people you meet. The emotions and love and the beauty of everything that lives around you. It’s to beautiful to worry about my friend. Live it! make your story the one that lives forever and that never ever ends (it never will) may peace be with you!
So sorry you are suffering so much. Are you getting erp therapy to help you?
Ty
I have OCD and I know the fear that OCD creates. Debilitating fears. So please do not take offense to what I am going to say. I am a Christian and have accepted Jesus into my life (which by the way helps ma a lot) but the Bible explains where we go if we are believers after we die. Heaven is beautiful and there is no pain or suffering there. I don’t know if your fear is where you will go after dying or is it dying itself. Please, please know there is help out there and the worst OCD I had has passed. It may take a long time , but it always gets better. Are you on any medicine? Medicine saved me literally. Also, I have to work on my thoughts. But, the promises in the Bible calm me, especially Psalms. Please get the help you need and consider medicine. There ARE brighter days ahead , it is just so hard to see. I’ve been on the floor crying before and telling my parents that it is just so bad. I got help and slowly it got better. So much so, that I was like in remission from it for like 5 years. I’ve had some trauma lately and it has returned, but I know my savior is there to help me and I know He cares for me. You WILL be ok. It just takes time sometimes. Like I said, I mean no offense if you are not a believer. By the way, as I’m writing this , an OCD commercial just came on the tv. I’ve never seen a commercial specifically for OCD! To me, that was God saying, there is help out there! I pray you will get the help you need. It’s out there .
Tmrw I start therapy
But the introduction is a waste of time I need help fast
Yeah the intro sessions are lousy but the therapist needs it to know if they can help or if you need higher level care. Good luck tomorrow. 🫶
Ty 🥲
I’m on medicine but it’s not helping very much and my phycolgist is kind of sick and he doesn’t respond
Idk if I believe in God but I think I do and my mother and I would like to go to church
It's been a year since I've been able to stay home alone. I don't know how to fight this. I feel like the world will collapse on me. That the house will cave in. Or I'll just lose my mind and scream and run outside screaming and saying the world is falling type thing. I don't know how to help myself. I'm to scared to even try to be alone. I have to have my son 18 stay home with me or my aunt stay with me when my son does leave. It's horrible. I feel like I'm holding my son back from so much. I don't know how to beat this. Please help
I don’t have much of a support system outside of my bf, so I find myself here a lot. I think I just need to vent, so forgive me if I do this too often. It helps to have a community of people who truly understand. I haven’t felt this debilitated by mental illness in months. There has to be some explanation, maybe it’s hormonal, because I feel like I’ve completely lost myself. The panic hits in waves, sudden and overwhelming, like my head is submerged in lava, burning and suffocating. Then, for a brief moment, I feel almost normal and wonder what all the fear was about. But it never lasts. The chaos always comes back. I even considered going to the ER because I’m not sure I can trust myself anymore. Something has to be wrong, because this isn’t me. My life isn’t perfect, but it’s not unbearable either. Since I withdrew from school, I’ve been so much less stressed that even my cycle, which has been irregular for years, has somehow regulated itself. But even with that, I feel like a failure. I was one semester away from finishing, so close, but OCD hit me harder than it ever has. It felt like drowning, gasping for air, reaching for something solid, only to be dragged under again and again. Now, I feel like that again, but worse. I feel hollow, like something is wrong with me at my core. I don’t just feel sad; I feel broken. I break down into uncontrollable sobs every few hours, and I don’t even know why. I just know that whatever is happening, OCD is taking full advantage of how vulnerable I feel. Is this what MDD feels like? Everyone tells me I have it, and it’s been confirmed by my psych, my pcp, and my therapist, but I still can’t seem to fully see it. I don’t know how to separate what’s OCD from what might be another disorder. I’m sorry to anyone also going through such a hard time, my heart goes out to you 🤍
I keep thinking about life and death and all that stuff and it’s making me so upset. I keep thinking about how one day im probably going to be old and on my death bed or something and my whole life will be nothing but a memory and im so scared for that day. i wont have my parents and my younger siblings wont have any of us. time feels like its moving too fast like i feel every second pass and think about how i can never get that moment back and i cant slow down time or go back or even just pause it because its always going and theres nothing i can do about it. And then i start thinking about whats after death and get even more scared because if heaven is real then what is eternity? wont i get bored of doing the same things… forever? and if its not real then what happens is it just nothing? because thats even more scary i don’t want to be nothing because that also means the people i love will be nothing and i wont be able to be with them. And if it’s not that then is it reincarnation? will i have to do this all over again? will the souls of the people i love be with me in their new forms? is the sun “God” because the planets revolve around it and the stars are all of the passed souls? what does it feel like to be a star? will i even just know i died? i have so many questions and the fact that none have an answer and i just have to wait to find out drives me insane. i try to remind myself everyone before me and everyone after me will experience death and loss at one point in their life and that I’m not alone but it doesn’t help. nothing helps. ive had “episodes” like this before when i was around 10-14 about once a year always around May-June which is the month my great grandmother died and June is my birth month which i hate because yk… time passing and aging which i assume is why i always get worse around that time. i was able to kind of ignore or turn it off the past like 3 years but this month its just too much i cant even deal with it. maybe because I’m turning 18? idk but its been bothering me so much and its all i can think about. Even when i seem fine the thoughts are always in there somewhere and some days they’re easier to ignore and others it feels impossible. I just wish I was like those people who can just turn their thoughts off if they don’t like them. My mom says she can do that if she thinks about how her mom died or something she can tell herself she doesn’t want to think about that and just… turn it off?? and thats so shocking to me because i’ve begged a god I don’t even know if I believe in to stop my thoughts and she can just turn them off herself? I don’t have another therapy appointment until next week I wish I could talk to them everyday so it could work faster but instead i’m on here. So if anyone has any advice PLEASE give it to me. I’m so tired it’s making me not enjoy anything in life because it makes me feel like theres no point in anything but I want to feel normal and I want to enjoy things. Sorry for writing so much just had to get this out there. Also i’m not trying to seek reassurance btw I just wanna know how other people coped with this or similar issues😭
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