- Username
- quentin
- Date posted
- 5y ago
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- Username
- ChichiChichi
- Date posted
- 5y ago
hm that‘s actually a little bit trickier... things said I‘m no professional but from a general perspective consider this: try to really picture what I‘m about to say (do not worry it‘s not about sexual orientation)... try focus on your bladder, really badly, do you feel where it is? now I want you to feel it even more focus your whole attention to your bladder, how full it is, wouldn‘t it be great to go to the toilet right now, can you feel your bladder expanding getting fuller and fuller? so how do you feel? I bet it felt like you kind of need to go to the bathroom... if you focus your attention to certain parts of your body it WILL result in a feeling in that area! so you may be aroused yes but you also may be just focusing too much attention to your sexy bits (I‘m very articulate I know?)... maybe this will help looking at it from a different angle... again live with the uncertainty, yes it may be arousal but it could also be focused attention so accept it and move on, stop checking for reassurance live with the fact that it might very well be arousal... just say (as a erp experiment) yes I‘m aroused, so you will not have the need to check, if you accept this fear than it will vanish... at least that‘s my own humble opinion✨
- Username
- ChichiChichi
- Date posted
- 5y ago
just accept it... if you tell yourself: well yeah maybe I am aroused and that‘s okay. that way your anxiety will be like: okay so this is no problem so I‘m not needed anymore... if you want to go one step further you may tell yourself: yes I really think this guy is attractive, damn those abs and that face I really really like him, imagine a closer relation to that guy and how it would feel of course first your anxiety will go up and in that moment you have to absolutely resist ANY compulsions just repeat the whole scenario over and over till your anxiety lessens... this is also called ERP therapie by the way... the scenario after repeating it over and over will kind of become ridiculous, that‘s the sweet spot you want to optain and give yourself compassion it‘s hard in the beginning but I promise it will get better, stay safe✨
- Username
- quentinquentin
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Just reading that have me anxiety...I’ll try it out. Thank you so much
- Username
- ChichiChichi
- Date posted
- 5y ago
it‘s supposed to do that so that‘s good now just do not do your compolsions, and remember compassion✨
- Username
- quentinquentin
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Sorry for all the questions..but what if your compulsion is checking for arousal..it’s kind of impossible to not know if u feel that ya kno?
- Username
- I Need An Off SwitchI Need An Of...
- Date posted
- 5y ago
So so so relate! It’s just more uncertainty. You have to ride the wave of it. You will never know, but once you except the uncertainty even though it hurts like hell, everything will be clearer.
Related posts
- Username
- quentin
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Im so lost. I can’t find my carnal attraction like i used to. The one thing I am trying to be is true to myself. I keep watching porn to see if something, ANYTHING gay turns me on. And I never get excited. I just get anxious, a weird feeling, and i don’t like watching the “act”... I even try to will myself to like it but it just doesn’t pop up. But anything with a woman in it..boom I’m in the mood... But the doubt just creeps back in bc I’ll see a guy, say “oh he’s cute, could I do it with him?” Then I get anxious and say “that was a gay thought, you’re gay” but I just can’t prove it to myself I honestly do not care what I am at this point...I just want to be true and put the doubt behind me.... How do I do this? Someone please.
- Username
- NeverGiveUp
- Date posted
- 48w ago
Aesthetic attraction
Why am I noticing alot more handsome men? Is it my insecurities? I've noticed I have no desire to have sex and I've asked my girlfriend what she thinks and she said it's normal because she finds her friends pretty and beautiful but even then finding another man handsome is extremely uncomfortable and makes me feel bisexual. it's causing me alot of anxiety and discomfort right now ):
- Username
- NeverGiveUp
- Date posted
- 46w ago
How to cope with discomfort
My dumb ass has been reasurance seeking so much, researching, Reddit, quizes, gay Vs denial, bisexual Vs denial, and checking aesthetically good looking men and now nothing reassures me for long periods of time. It's ruining my relationship I'm losing attraction I have porn addiction too not compulsively checking but I do check alot of the time and it's also escalating onto things I wouldn't do in real life. My life feels ruined by this relapse because life was finally good I finally got a beautiful amazing girlfriend, went gym, got new clothing, haircut and was overall happy but just finding men handsome, liking their voice etc causes me alot of anxiety because it's not every so often it's a very common thing now and it makes me so upset not because being bi or gay is wrong but because I don't want sex with men it doesn't make me happy or excite me I wouldn't even do it for money. Women make me feel so good inside, excited, butterflies I just want to be married and spend my life with a beautiful women but with this shit I doubt everything I can't even have same sex friends out of fear that it'll be more than platonic. I wouldn't care if I was 10% bisexual and 90% straight because id always be straight over everything I love women even though they make me nervous my response has always been positive. I really REALLY need help I can't live like this I'm not suicidal or anything but I'm extremely depressed it's causing my girlfriend to become distant we don't do nothing sexually even though before this relapse I was craving it all the time cuz of how much I love her. How do I stop this anxiety and doubt? Why is there even anxiety around this? I'm confident enough to say I find men handsome but that's all it is? So why can't I figure this out? No matter how much research the next day I just find myself repeating it trying to solve the big question if I'm gay or not. Even though logically I'm attracted to women exclusively I may have done things growing up as curiosity but crushes have always been women, sexual fantasies always women, women have always made me excited I loved it even growing up I was obsessed with wanting a girlfriend not because of society but because that's what I wanted? A romantic and sexual relationship with a woman. If the cure is to sit with this discomfort why do I have the discomfort in the first place? Because I can find men handsome? But that doesn't make me attracted to them sexually I've never looked at a man and thought "I'd love to have him all to myself and fuck him" I've only said that about women? Groinal responses as well they're a pain in the ass especially when I check porn it's a massive anxiety trap and makes me question shit even though it may cause a physical response I don't like it mentally I want it gone I want this all gone without any doubt. If anyone spent their time reading this thank you. I feel so alone at the moment and isolated with confusion with no one to talk to
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