Sometimes I really wish I wasn’t gay. It’s dumb but I get incredibly upset over dumb things that shouldn’t cut so deep. Pink News grossed me out because they implied they were against republicans making child drag shows illegal. And in my opinion children shouldn’t be involved in any beauty pagent esque thing at all. But some people in the twitter comments seem to think that this proves gay men are predatory and it cuts me deeply. It doesn’t matter if most gay men don’t even know child drag queens exist, it doesn’t matter if the kids aren’t actually being harmed (not that it shouldn’t be banned for that), it doesn’t matter if this is an incredibly uncommon occurance. My OCD screams at me saying it’s proof that gay men are pedophiles and I hate it so much. It sucks especially because I was feeling mediocre and ugly when I woke up already. But even then I felt like maybe I could find a guy who could make me happy. Now I just wonder if we’re all monsters.

First of all, hate speech is stressful to be on the receiving end of, no matter who you are, so of course it hurts you. That's not your fault. Stress can make OCD flare up though, and your brain will try to find a way you can protect yourself, even if it makes no sense. Our OCD brains mislabel threats ALL THE TIME. Second, OCD doesnt care who you are, it will find something in you to attack and be scared of. If you weren't gay, you would be scared of something else. So there is no use or good in hating who you are. It wouldn't change anything. That said, me just telling you this isnt going to change how you feel, I just hope it encourages you maybe a little, to redirect your attention. Fight your OCD, not what your OCD tells you is the problem.

i’m queer too and i feel so predatory being around younger or straight girls sometimes that i get super fucking uncomfortable and have to leave. i totally hear you. i’m so sorry

i relate to you kylaj321, it's the worst

Hey I have pocd and I’m queer and sometimes other people’s prejudices really play into my ocd. I’ll have thoughts that I’m making people feel uncomfortable or that I’m sexually deviant. And my pocd thoughts trigger a lot of guilt and shame which reminds me of how I felt around the time when I came out. I also get thoughts like “if I was in denial about being queer back then, then I could easily be in denial about being a pedophile right now” or “if I want to have sex with women then maybe I also want to have sex with girls.” I hate that my ocd is using those kind of horrible opinions against me, my ocd is fully homophobic. I think it’s important to remember that other people’s prejudice against the queer community doesn’t say anything about your character or who you are as a person. Also, my queer friends and community bring me so much love and support and I never want to feel like it is a bad thing!!