OCD and porn I am a happily married man with OCD. I have a strong confession compulsion and lots of sexuality-related OCD obsessions and fears. My wife and I have a good sex life but I still indulge in watching porn maybe once or occasionally twice a week. I told my wife about this and her reaction was that she did not care. She outright said, “I don’t have a problem with porn.” Still, I am always confessing to her when I watch it. Needless to say, this is annoying to her. Recently, I told her that I would stop watching it because it made me feel bad. Again she told me that she didn’t care. Well, I slipped up and watched again since I said this. Now, I feel this intense urge to confess again. She doesn’t care but I broke my word. I’m constantly confessing things to her and driving her up the wall sometimes. Can anyone relate to this? Should I confess for breaking my own word even though she said she doesn’t care if I watch? My guilt over this is super strong.

Leaving the "ethics" of the matter aside, meaning that porn is a controversial subject and you will NEVER find consensus on it; confessing is a completely overt compulsion that not only feeds OCD big time but also potentially erodes our relationships. I had this a lot and my poor wife took it all. Confessing is a selfish thing when not necessary since it is pretty much dumping our crap on someone elses' shoulders. You need to make an agreement with your wife that she will stop listening to your confessions and especially not to reassure you that you haven't done anything wrong. Every time you do it, you feed the OCD monster big time.

I agree with FernandoV... after a while confession starts to become a problem after a while because your constantly dumping it on someone for no real reason and all it does it provoke some sort of emotional response from the other person. Which can be exhausting and unfair. Not to mention it’s only feeding your OCD more.

If by confessing you think it's proving some sort of point, be it that you're breaking a word (that you imposed on yourself) and that makes you a "bad person" or something else, perhaps you could reflect on your motives and what you really want to achieve. Your wife doesn't mind, and you can accept that what you watch in your own time is your business. Anytime I felt the need to confess things unnecessarily it was for my benefit and reinforced my own negative opinion of myself, I've had to unlearn that habit. You can too!

Yeah this sounds like your compulsions kicking in and resulting in self-destructive behavior. Analyze why you're really confessing and what the benefits are.

Hi