- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Leaving the "ethics" of the matter aside, meaning that porn is a controversial subject and you will NEVER find consensus on it; confessing is a completely overt compulsion that not only feeds OCD big time but also potentially erodes our relationships. I had this a lot and my poor wife took it all. Confessing is a selfish thing when not necessary since it is pretty much dumping our crap on someone elses' shoulders. You need to make an agreement with your wife that she will stop listening to your confessions and especially not to reassure you that you haven't done anything wrong. Every time you do it, you feed the OCD monster big time.
- Date posted
- 6y
I agree with FernandoV... after a while confession starts to become a problem after a while because your constantly dumping it on someone for no real reason and all it does it provoke some sort of emotional response from the other person. Which can be exhausting and unfair. Not to mention it’s only feeding your OCD more.
- Date posted
- 6y
If by confessing you think it's proving some sort of point, be it that you're breaking a word (that you imposed on yourself) and that makes you a "bad person" or something else, perhaps you could reflect on your motives and what you really want to achieve. Your wife doesn't mind, and you can accept that what you watch in your own time is your business. Anytime I felt the need to confess things unnecessarily it was for my benefit and reinforced my own negative opinion of myself, I've had to unlearn that habit. You can too!
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah this sounds like your compulsions kicking in and resulting in self-destructive behavior. Analyze why you're really confessing and what the benefits are.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
This is my first post & I’m terrified. I have not been officially diagnosed w ocd yet but in a nutshell - I confessed some things I felt guilty about to my husband about five months ago. ( nothing too major ) but in our past, 20+ years ago I was unfaithful and it caused a LOT of harm, which I told him all of that back when it happened. But in recent months, I started getting consumed by guilt. I couldnt eat or sleep until I finally broke one night and told him all these recent little things I felt guilty about. Acting flirty, etc. And for him it like brought back allll the trauma from 20 years ago which I didn’t know would happen. But it’s so bad. He says he wishes I never told him. But even w that, I still feel like I keep thinking of “new things “ I did in the past, thoughts I had or dreams, or conversation w an ex,things like that. Because I am a Christian I also keep feeling like it’s the Holy Spirit telling me I haven’t told him everything and I need to. But I also know God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear .. I clearly need help, but I also want Christian based help so that it’s in line w what I believe ? I can’t eat and my anxiety is so bad again - I know if I confess more things it will keep destroying him, I don’t think he really understands or believes I have ocd. Thanks if you made it this far
- Date posted
- 15w
I spoke with my therapist about intrusivr association ocd thoughts. When i watch porn ocd says the person reminds me of a kid i know or a relative. I told myself repeatedly this is an ocd thougjt its intrusive associations. Multiple times. And i compulsivrly stopped and tried regrounding when the anxiety was too much. My intention was to look at my eofes photo then to look at a woman on pornhub who reminded me of my wife and On the last time i had the intrusive thought of a nephew. I exited the video and went back to my wifes photo and said her name to refocus. Ocd makes me feel guilty flr engaging in sex while having tbat intrusive thought of our nephew and ocd made me doubt “was i thinking of my nephew or was it ocd?” I know its ocd. Its ocd thought number one million. This happens for seven years now when i have sex or watch porn. I know my ocd brain hyperfoxates and worries about grtting intrusivr thoughts during sex so of course ocd is going to semd those intrusivr thougjts sincr my brains hyperworried about it. I know its OCD. I know my intent was to think of my wife and watch the video. Its just engaging in sex while having these intrusive thoughts is very uncomfortable. My therapist said not to stop because its a compulsion. It feels so uncomfortable so i know the intrusive thoughts of the nephew is ego dystonic and the fact inwent back to see my eifes photo and refocsus and say her name repeatedly put lout shows my true intention is to arouse over my wife. I just feel guilty for masterbating while the intrusive thoughts enter my mind. Ocd tries to trick me and say i was thinking of it but i know thats not true. Its my ocd brain hyper worried about getting these intrusive thoughts and them intruding. I often avoid sex and masterbation because of the fear of intruding ocd thoughts so i know its ocd. I cant avoid it or stop. Im doing erp. I recognize its ocd. Yet ocd tries to grt me to ruminate with feelings of guilt ans doubting if its my thoughts or ocd thoughts when i know my intent is to only arouse and think of my wife and i know indont want these thoughts i know its ocd.
- Date posted
- 13w
When I was single, I watched a lot of porn, specifically lesbian porn even though I’m straight. When I got into my current relationship I dwindled down and eventually stopped watching porn of any kind, around six or so months ago. I had a flare up recently that has caused me to question every part of myself including my sexuality and my identity, my relationship, and other things that are important and valued to me, and porn keeps popping up in all of these things. I feel like my porn usage was me cheating on my boyfriend, especially in the early parts of our relationship. I broke down to him last month about it and he said it was okay, that he forgives me, but I’m still hung up on it because I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve wronged him and that I’m a terrible person and that I need to leave him because of this. This is so excruciatingly painful. I don’t want to keep confessing over and over and over again, but I don’t want to be a dirty lying cheater, which I feel like I am.
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