Username: donutmonster

Date posted: 1y ago

I might be making fake scenarios in my head. OCD?

I feel like no one at my job really likes me. I pitched a movie screening idea in a group chat and still got no responses at all. It’s a movie that I thought resonates with what we stand for. I want to quit. I told my mom about it but she said I can’t just quit every job that doesn’t make me feel comfortable. It makes sense. I just feel out of place. I already screwed up because I would at times, not show up to a few events. I wouldn’t show up at times or leave early because I felt overshadowed by a coworker and it probably wasn’t her fault but in my head, I kept trying to avoid her and avoid that negative feeling of hating myself even more. It started when I assumed she was flirting with my bf which made me feel intimidated and anxious around her. I ended up overdosing because of it. I kept having images in my head of bf and her together and it would break me. I would end up making myself smaller and crying. Me and this girl also seem to have some unknown beef with each other. I also don’t know if this is in my head but I noticed some passive aggressive behavior and it fucks with my head. I would leave events early because she was there, would steal the show and it would stupidly make me feel unworthy and invisible. I just have past experiences in relationships where similar stuff happened. I got called out for leaving early and told by an employer I’m not really doing my job because I flake. I work for a center on my college campus and would pitch ideas for events and post on our social media page, but, never really stick around at events due to feeling uncomfortable around the girl. I end up crying internally then I leave early to cry more. It’s ridiculous. So, I think they all just dislike me because of it. I can’t tell them why I act like that. I’m seeing a therapist and she told me this girl isn’t a big scary bear. I’ve applied to many places so far and have yet to hear from some of them. I want a new job.

Relationship OCD

Username: yukariyukari

Date posted: 1y ago

First of all, I don't know if some of the thoughts.are.OCD or not. But if. You're leaving the park because of.tbis girl.then imagine how much you're hardwork goes on vain

Username: donutmonsterdonutmonster

Date posted: 1y ago

@yukari What do you mean?

Username: D:)D:)

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

im sorry you’re going through this:( i’ve struggled with feeling out of place or overshadowed as well and it can be really hard to want to continue being there without feeling uncomfortable. im sure it’s your ocd coming and making you doubt your relationships with others. im sure staying in your job & exposing yourself to the situation will be very difficult but avoiding it may make it harder in the long run. you got this keep going💕💕💕

Username: donutmonsterdonutmonster

Date posted: 1y ago

@D:) Do you think it would be weird if I asked my coordinator how she felt about my role honestly?

Username: yukariyukari

Date posted: 1y ago

I can understand because I was also in a similar situation.just not at work or having a crush on a boy or smth. You see. It matters with what her position is when it comes to her stealing the show. But if it were about ideas then you shouldn't bury yourself. If you have any disagreements it's best to let them know why and why do you think if would or wouldn't work( unbiasedly is better I guess). I know how it feels it usually doens't go like that. It could be hard because you fear she'll take away your boyfriend. I don't know if office colleagues would approve of it

Username: yukariyukari

Date posted: 1y ago

I don't know

Username: yukariyukari

Date posted: 1y ago

I am sorry for taking your time. I think you should be continuing to working if you genuinely love your job. And.if you're able to meet your financial situations. About the bf gf stuff.

Username: donutmonsterdonutmonster

Date posted: 1y ago

@yukari I feel like I don’t really enjoy it because of the situation and I just don’t feel I fit in. Everyone is friends in the job.

Username: yukariyukari

Date posted: 1y ago

Well it is taking your time away. I can understand it's quite hard, but please dont give up on your passion for all this. You can talk to your boyfriend.about it maybe? I don't really know about it. But I sure have missed some stuff in the name of that overwhelming feeling. I would have not had much trouble dealing with the task. Your situation is even more complex. But I talked to my friend about my problems and she said it's not like that she was just busy so she doesn't usually have the time to talk. So its similar to this. But in your case, i don't know if talking can help..but I think you should talk about.this.to your bf. Especially if he understands some stuff

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

This is so so tough. OCD can definitely make us feel 'not good enough'. I don't know if that is what is happening here but it sounds like you believe it is related. I would highly recommend that you get therapy from a trained OCD specialist to help with this. A lot of people with OCD report very similar thoughts and feelings. The truth is that if it is OCD and it isn't addressed now, it will just keep coming up in every job. Check out this-https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/why-people-with-ocd-may-experience-imposter-syndrome

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

Also if you are interested in learning more about OCD treatment, Our Care Team will typically begin with a free 15-minute call to discuss treatment, answer any questions you have, and book your first appointment. Please feel free to schedule a convenient time that works best for you here: https://learn.nocd.com/scheduler

Username: Nerdwithocd

Date posted: 1y ago

Work related ruminations

Hey everyone! I’m new to this app, but not new when it comes to OCD treatments. A few years ago I had to leave school/ my job in order to work on my mental health which was hard but needed. Mentally things have more or less gotten better OCD wise but I still really struggle with protectionism. I started a new job within the past 6 months that is challenging, but I enjoy enough to hopefully stay at for a few years. As of the past two weeks I have been really struggling with ruminating over my performance at work. I have been trying really hard to learn all the moving parts of the job, but because of lack of mentoring and constant little hiccups I have been stressing. Currently I have been overwhelmed/ overthinking so much that I have been messing up my work and it seems like my coworkers are pretty annoyed by constantly having to correct me. It’s honestly my worst fear as a perfectionist to feel like a burden. My intrusive thoughts as of late is that they are going to think I don’t care or try hard enough, that they talk bad about me to each other, and that they are going to fire me. Has anyone else experienced this type of OCD perfectionism that affects there performance within school or work and if so is there anything that you did in order to help recenter yourself in the moment to stop your brain from running in circles?

Username: Magzzz

Date posted: 44w ago

What is wrong with me?

At my workplace, I have these so called “friends” or used to be “friends” that I have tried so hard to be friends with and be there for an all I’ve ever gotten in return is hurt, put down, ignored, left out, and talked down to. There’s a girl I work with and used to be friends with that acts like she’s better than everyone else and gets my other so called friends to believe her lies and she purposely tries to leave me out and makes me an outsider when I used to be there for her but she’s always been mean in return but she makes me out to be the bad guy or the problem. She has even said I’m a problem and that everyone agrees with her. I have quit from this place before but I came back because it was convenient since I’m in college and they work with my schedule. Management won’t do anything about it because of favoritism. I tried to warn my best friend about her and other people but she wouldn’t believe me and before I quit she turned against me just like everyone else. Then when I came back she acts like my best friend again because the girl that treated me like crap gave her the same treatment when I was gone and now the mean girl is I guess trying to get her not to be my friend anymore. I don’t know what to do. These people make me want to give up because I feel like my existence is the problem. That maybe if I left they wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore since they shun me and treat me like I’m the worst person ever. It’s so mentally exhausting and it’s painful because I’m a very overly caring person and I used to be a people pleaser but now that I have kind of gotten more boundaries and protected myself, it got worse. Am I the problem? What is wrong with me? I honestly don’t even know what I ever did to these people. I have an attitude sometimes but it’s because of the way they have treated me and that’s honestly all they have ever said was my issue and I have apologized countless times for the things I’ve done wrong because I have held my self accountable but they haven’t. A couple years ago I liked a guy that started working there but then she started flirting with him when she knew I liked him and now they are dating so that tells you how that went. He was like my best friend and when I tried to warn him about her, he turned against me too. I don’t know what to do anymore. Any time I would speak out against her she would say I’m a problem and that I’m acting like a victim but all I’ve done was try to protect myself from how she’s treated me. I can’t make friends anymore because I’m afraid they are just going to do me like she did. I don’t know if I’m the problem but they make me feel so angry and I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know if this even makes any sense but if anyone relates or can help I appreciate it 💔

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 44w ago

Fixated on a thought and can’t move on

I started a new job a month ago. Keep in mind I have severe relationship OCD so before I went in I was afraid I was going to have a weird thought about someone if they were good looking. Literally my first day I saw someone good looking and did a friendly smile because I was new and I just smiled at everyone to be nice- I did it again I’d say like 3 more times to that person in the days after and then I suddenly stopped because I was like what if he thinks I fudging fancy him so now every time I pass him I can’t look him in the eyes I look down or rush past looking annoyed so he doesn’t think I think he’s good looking. I’m really enjoying this job but this little thing every single day when I go in now is constantly at the back of my mind every morning I wake up it’s the first thing I think of, every intimate and loving moment with my boyfriend I picture this person (because my OCD imagines things that are bothering me in the best moments so I don’t enjoy them) And I am so afraid that one day someone in my team will be like oh yeah you need to get him to train you in on this because I will actually cry because I’ve built this up so much in my head now that I can’t enjoy my life my work everything because it’s really awkward (or in my mind it is) when I pass this person because I’ve made it seem like this huge deal and it makes me feel sick because I’ve already confessed this once to my boyfriend but it is so STUCK in my head now and of course you can never ask for help on this shit (my fellow ocd friends will know of course and by friends i mean everyone in this community) because people in my work would be like ooooo you fancy him or something not understanding that this is something i really struggle with. And I just don’t know at all how to move past it

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I might be making fake scenarios in my head. OCD?

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