Jealousy with boyfriend

@JordTheNord Thank you I appreciate that I just hope it doesn’t push away my bf

@Starfish Do you know if it bothers him? Has he said/argued anything against that? You said he understands. Is it a make or break for you that he needs to stop being friends with another girl? Or how would you like to address your feelings on the matter to help you feel better?

@JordTheNord He understands and even offered to unfollow her but he’s the type of person that if something bothers him he won’t say it until he’s completely fed up and then he kinda just blows up. We got into an argument last week and broke up for a bit bc he felt he couldn’t communicate and ever since then I’ve felt constant anxiety! I’m afraid to make him mad or hurt him or even lose him! I’m scared he’s just not gonna say it bothers him and later blow up. We both agreed we would communicate and he has been doing well but I’m trying to build that trust back I just don’t know if he says he’s okay now if he means it! Also I thought telling him would help and make me feel better and reassure but all I feel is sad and anxious. I’m scared I’m the problem now bc I don’t want him to be friends with her. But then I’m friends with my friend but I mean not really bc we barely talk and it’s only about our relationships but my mind is also telling me I secretly like him or I’ve found him attractive or I’ve tried to get his attention on my insta! It sucks bc I don’t like him like that at all I don’t find him attractive and I post photos so I can feel good about myself but am I lying to myself to make me feel better? It’s just a lot I’m sorry

@Starfish I will respond to this later. Do not be sorry. Hang in there. I believe in you and there is wrong with you

@Starfish Hey thanks for the patience. It seems both of you need to work on something’s for you both to be fulfilled in the relationship. That is great he offered to unfollow but if you say he hides things and then blows up about it later he needs to deal with that and be honest right from the start or at least communicate “hey I guess this is bothering me more than I thought, can we discuss it again”. The OCD makes us doubt ourselves a lot. It conflicts with our identity. I do not believe you are lying to yourself and I have had the same thoughts. However you are right that it’s not ok that you can have male friends and he can’t have female friends. I’m sorry to here that opening up about it has made you more anxious. Maybe it’s making you more anxious for another reason? Maybe it’s reinforcing the thought that since you opened up it might push him away. Personally you guys do need to have trust and do what you need to do to build that. Our OCD even works to destroy that because it’s thoughts of distrust with ourselves and others. You eventually just have to let it go and trust him until ACTUAL evidence pops up that he is braking the trust. Easier said than done though. You are not a lot. You are perfectly fine. I use to have these thoughts too but I made a decision “if I’m going to eb with this person I just have to trust em until proven guilty” even if these though yes and feelings come up I must realize it’s my OCD. However you a very faithful gf. That’s why it’s bothering you so much that you’re not (the OCD) because it’s what you dislike the most.

@JordTheNord Thank you so much you have helped me a lot! I’m sorry for replying so late I’ve been trying to get better these past few days and I’ve been feeling better! I’m feeling a lot better about those thoughts now there are just new ones I’m dealing with! I’m trying to get better with these new thoughts as well it’s just been a bit hard! I really do appreciate ur words!! I’m trying to trust my bf more and we are communicating with everything. I know no relationship is perfect and to understand each other better we must talk to each other!

@Starfish My pleasure! Glad you are feeling better and you guys are doing well! Yes every relationship is different because we are all different and no relationship is perfect. Remember if you are feeling better and then you have new thoughts that could be the OCD kicking in as well. Our imagination is unlimited which makes OCD come up with new thoughts after we just shut down old ones. Don’t take them so seriously. Easier said than done of course

@JordTheNord Thank you I’ll try to push thru these new thoughts as best as I can! ⭐️

@Starfish That’s all that matters.

@Rumination and control OCD My friend I’ve known since Covid and we have just been friends and we only talk about our relationships with our significant other! We used to be closer best friends and would even say I love you as friends ofc! But I stopped all that and the closeness once I met my bf bc I felt being that close with another boy was wrong! So now I barely talk to him and I always ask how his gf is and when they have trouble I’m always putting him in his place if he’s wrong and telling him gift ideas! My mind tries to tell me that I try to get attention from him and I even blocked him from seeing my Instagram stories bc I didn’t like that if it was true! Even now my ocd is telling me all of it is true and I’m just a terrible person!! I would tell my bf to block that girl but then I feel like it’s unfair for me to have a friend who’s a guy and he can’t. I know I barely talk to him and it’s probably been like two months but idk. Plus my bf is 100% willing to block her! I feel like a bad person and ur right no matter how beautiful we are if we see another girl it just makes us feel insecure. I wish I had better self esteem I have even been going to the gym! But I’m just gonna talk with my therapist and see what she says! Thank you I will try to be more honest with him!!! Yes building up that trust again really sucks it just makes me feel constantly anxious and overthink! Thank you so much for your comment 🫶🏽