Jealousy with boyfriend

I just randomly had this thought when I was driving and I’m super anxious. A couple weeks back I was really jealous of my gf and her guy friends playing card games together in one of their classes and I wanted to see if she would get jealous if I was paying more attention to my friends in my class, two boys one girl. She was in the class and my teacher was explaining a card game to one of my friends who is a girl and I was trying to see what he was saying and showing her but I had to get closer to do that and in the back of my mind I think I was trying to make her jealous by being closer to another girl. I’m terrified because I would never flirt or do anything with another girl. That girl also has a boyfriend. I’m just stuck in my thoughts right now and don’t feel like moving or doing anything, I feel like throwing up. Someone please comment and help me

I stated dating my boyfriend about 3 months ago. This is my first boyfriend ever. He’s been in 2 serious relationships in the past and multiple sexual partners. I’ve had neither. When we first started dating/ at one point were just friends, he told me a lot about the last girl he was in a relationship including their sex life. Fast forward to us dating for about a month and I found out he had been texting her. We almost broke up. But also for context she broke up with him because she figured out she was a lesbian. But still… anyways we moved past it. And now… I’m sure we can all see this coming… I have this theme! I think about his ex gf all the time. I stalk her on social media and try to find hints and clues about their relationship. I compare myself to her. It really impacts my relationship because I’ll get mad at him for no reason. For example we went thrifting recently and he picked out stuff that completely wasn’t my style, but was hers. Which made me spiral. Is he purposely dressing me like her? Does he want me to be someone else, someone like her? The whole texting her thing was put in the past. I’ve forgiven him. But I can’t help but have resentment towards him and think/ visualize all these thoughts about them together and how I’ll never measure up to that. It makes me think I shouldn’t have got into a relationship. That maybe I’m better off by myself. But like all of us. I wish I didn’t have these thoughts. I wish I could believe he liked me for me. But sometimes it’s really hard.

Hey, I really need your honest opinion. I have been diagnosed with OCD and I also suspect that I struggle with Relationship OCD (ROCD) or obsessive jealousy. I often get completely stuck on certain situations – and right now it’s happening again. Situation 1 – Supermarket: A few days ago, we were at the supermarket and parked right in front of the entrance. At that moment, a young woman came out of the store. My boyfriend looked at her – for me, that’s “looking at someone.” For him, it’s not. He said: “I only looked in that direction. I didn’t look at her.” “I don’t even remember what she looked like.” When I first explained to him what “looking” means for me – for example, if our eyes meet, I already consider that “looking” – he still kept saying, “I didn’t look at her For him, “looking” means consciously focusing on someone with intention. For me, it’s already “looking” if our eyes meet or I notice him glancing at someone, regardless of intention. Later, when we discussed it more calmly, he said he “saw” her but didn’t “look” at her in his sense of the word. For him, this was consistent – but for me, this change in wording feels like an inconsistency. My mind latches onto it and keeps asking: if he really meant “I saw her,” why didn’t he say that from the beginning? Situation 2 – Car: In another situation, a woman with a suitcase was getting into a car in front of us. In my opinion, my boyfriend looked at the car and the woman a bit longer before she got in (not long, but longer). Of course, this could have simply been because there was movement and she was putting the suitcase into the car. Later, I asked him if there was a reason why he looked at the car a bit longer. He said: “No, there was no reason.” My thoughts afterwards: Even though we talked about both situations, my brain keeps scanning everything afterwards: • Was it really like that? • Was his first statement different from the second? • Was it really “not looking” in his sense – or “looking” in mine? • Why did he look at the woman a bit longer before she got in? • Why did he look at the car longer if there was no reason? • Is he lying to me because he said it differently at the beginning than later when we talked more calmly? Situation 3 – Other recent triggers: Yesterday, my boyfriend said to me: “If you know that I didn’t look at her with any intention, why would you even bring it up?” This made my brain spiral again, because I thought: Why would he say that if he says he didn’t look at her at all? During an argument, he also said that when we talk about topics like this, “it’s basically obvious that we’ll end up fighting.” Somehow, this also made me overthink what exactly he meant by that and if there was something hidden behind it. Another example: he says he doesn’t look at other women, but recently he ran into his best friend’s ex-girlfriend. He told me that she “looked at him in a weird way.” Later, it turned out that she had actually smiled at him. When I asked about this, he said that by “weird” he meant that she is a bad person in his opinion, and therefore her smile felt strange to him. But my mind still keeps going over why he didn’t just say “she smiled” in the first place. back to situation 1 and 2: I personally remember the looks and interpret them as “looking” – and that’s exactly what I can’t let go of. I notice that I constantly check for inconsistencies, almost obsessively – and even though we have talked about it, I can’t stop analyzing. I sit here with this inner restlessness and have the strong urge to bring it up again. But I know it wouldn’t help – it would only calm me down temporarily, and then the cycle would start again. Despite his explanations, I still internally doubt his honesty, even though I know there’s actually no objective reason to. It almost feels dangerous to me not to bring it up. I feel like I have to clarify if he was “really honest” – even if, objectively, there’s no reason to doubt it. I know my partner loves me and is honest i hope so. and yet I’m sitting here feeling like I can’t stand it if I don’t talk about it again. I’m tired. I just want clarity – but i don’t get the feeling of “now it’s finally settled. My question: Does this sound like OCD / ROCD / obsessive jealousy to you? Or could it actually just be normal jealousy? I honestly feel like my brain is destroying me over this. Thank you so much if you can give me your thoughts.