Have people lost their aesthetic attraction to the opposite sex because of HOCD? How did you manage to recover your attraction ?

Yes. I’ve experienced it and I see people every day talking about it on this app. Recover from OCD and you’ll recover your attraction. Are you in therapy right now seeing an OCD specialist? Are you practicing ERP?

Your anxiety may have started to subside, but you can still be feeding the OCD cycle with mental compulsions. Many people don’t even realize they’re doing them. That’s why an OCD specialist is so helpful.

Isn't sex drive about sexual attraction, not aesthetic attraction ?

Unfortunately I will not be able to see a therapist until the end of September. I have never seen a therapist and have never practiced CBT/ERP

I hope it's just that, I'm afraid my attraction won't come back. I miss it so much :(

It can cause a lower sex drive

I’m glad you’re going to see someone! They will help you habituate to the thoughts so they lose their importance and power. Over time, they’ll stop happening as much and you’ll slowly feel like your old self again more and more. Stay strong! I know September seems far right now but it’s really just around the corner.

The thing is, I don't really have a thought... Let's take an example: I look at a girl I thought was beautiful and she doesn't seem pretty at all. It all started a year ago, overnight. Before that I was constantly wondering if I was gay, in denial, I had intrusive thoughts, constant anxiety, I was always ruminating, I was testing myself on scenarios and many other things, but there were always thoughts. Now, now, nothing, just negative effects. I haven't really had any anxiety for a long time now, but nothing has come back.

It will! It might just take some time. Mine came back 100%. And I feel more secure in my sexuality than ever. Everyone’s different as far as timelines, but once you’re in treatment, ERP takes about 2 months to see significant changes. Keep your head up!

I hope my attraction will come back. I'm sobscared my attraction won't return like before HOCD :c

Can I ask you how did the ERP go? Since it no longer seems like a simple thought I do not see how to expose myself

You can do lots of little exposures: - watching tv shows with gay characters - listening to songs about being gay - readings articles or watching YouTube videos about coming out - going to local pride events or a gay bar (if you’re old enough) But that’s just the E in ERP: you always have to do response prevention with your exposures. That means not responding to the anxiety these things cause with compulsions. It can be tricky to identify all of your compulsions, especially the mental ones. Which is when an OCD specialist comes in handy. They will help you identify compulsions, create a proper hierarchy of fears, pace out your exercises so they’re not so overwhelming that they’re debilitating, and make sure you know how to do things properly.

But.. I'm not afraid of being gay anymore. I underdtood I'm straight.Looking gay movies or reading coming out stories won't make me anxious.

Than you’ll need different exposures. If these triggers don’t make you anxious, your therapist will be able to help you come up with ones that do. I was just providing very common ones for HOCD when the person is afraid of being gay.