- Username
- Aruphabeto
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes. I’ve experienced it and I see people every day talking about it on this app. Recover from OCD and you’ll recover your attraction. Are you in therapy right now seeing an OCD specialist? Are you practicing ERP?
Your anxiety may have started to subside, but you can still be feeding the OCD cycle with mental compulsions. Many people don’t even realize they’re doing them. That’s why an OCD specialist is so helpful.
Isn't sex drive about sexual attraction, not aesthetic attraction ?
Unfortunately I will not be able to see a therapist until the end of September. I have never seen a therapist and have never practiced CBT/ERP
I hope it's just that, I'm afraid my attraction won't come back. I miss it so much :(
It can cause a lower sex drive
I’m glad you’re going to see someone! They will help you habituate to the thoughts so they lose their importance and power. Over time, they’ll stop happening as much and you’ll slowly feel like your old self again more and more. Stay strong! I know September seems far right now but it’s really just around the corner.
The thing is, I don't really have a thought... Let's take an example: I look at a girl I thought was beautiful and she doesn't seem pretty at all. It all started a year ago, overnight. Before that I was constantly wondering if I was gay, in denial, I had intrusive thoughts, constant anxiety, I was always ruminating, I was testing myself on scenarios and many other things, but there were always thoughts. Now, now, nothing, just negative effects. I haven't really had any anxiety for a long time now, but nothing has come back.
It will! It might just take some time. Mine came back 100%. And I feel more secure in my sexuality than ever. Everyone’s different as far as timelines, but once you’re in treatment, ERP takes about 2 months to see significant changes. Keep your head up!
I hope my attraction will come back. I'm sobscared my attraction won't return like before HOCD :c
Can I ask you how did the ERP go? Since it no longer seems like a simple thought I do not see how to expose myself
You can do lots of little exposures: - watching tv shows with gay characters - listening to songs about being gay - readings articles or watching YouTube videos about coming out - going to local pride events or a gay bar (if you’re old enough) But that’s just the E in ERP: you always have to do response prevention with your exposures. That means not responding to the anxiety these things cause with compulsions. It can be tricky to identify all of your compulsions, especially the mental ones. Which is when an OCD specialist comes in handy. They will help you identify compulsions, create a proper hierarchy of fears, pace out your exercises so they’re not so overwhelming that they’re debilitating, and make sure you know how to do things properly.
But.. I'm not afraid of being gay anymore. I underdtood I'm straight.Looking gay movies or reading coming out stories won't make me anxious.
Than you’ll need different exposures. If these triggers don’t make you anxious, your therapist will be able to help you come up with ones that do. I was just providing very common ones for HOCD when the person is afraid of being gay.
i’ve been dealing with SOOCD for a while now. in the beginning i remember getting random thoughts about secretly being gay because whenever i see a woman portrayed in a sexual manner (like butt naked and/or doing something super sexual) i would get aroused. i used to brush it off because i just knew i didn’t want to be with a woman and i was and always have been only interested in men. I would only get aroused seeing those things in media and ofc porn but never in real life. I would even sit and stare at the content trying to see why i was aroused because it would only give me a groinal feeling and not the same attraction i felt when i saw sexual content about men (i had a HEALTHY libido growing up and all i thought about was men). i would watch music videos and not think anything of it but when something sexual came up or if a woman was nude or doing something sexual i would get aroused and as my anxiety got worse the intrusive thoughts started to pop up and stick around for longer. i tried to understand why it was happening and i realized i was exposed to sexual content at a pretty young age (thank you google) and i knew what sex was and how a woman “should look” during sex and anything that was even a little bit sexual made me aroused . Like me looking at myself naked would arouse me because i felt like “oh this is sexual” ykwim? and if i saw like lacy underwear i would be like “oh this is for sex.” in middle school the world history textbooks had pictures of statues with women without shirts and i automatically got aroused and i was concerned and confused but i realized oh i immediately think this means sex? like a woman only looks like that to have sex? i think my exposure to sexual content at a young age warped my idea of sex and what being sexual is? idk if what i’m saying is making sense. anyways in high school i noticed i started getting urges to watch any sexual content or anything involving sexual content whether it involved girls or guys and that triggered my intrusive thoughts even more. i still had and have no desire to be with a girl. I would rather never marry and be single all my life than even think of experimenting with a girl. basically i’m writing this all bc i was triggered by a cardi b post where she started twerking in a thong out of nowhere (i should’ve expected it) and i got the most massive groinal response and i got extremely anxious and i started thinking “you’ve always been aroused by sexual content like this your gay” “your lying to yourself” “this isn’t just ocd stop lying” “there was too much exploration in your childhood to mean ur straight” “you don’t even have a libido or attraction to men anymore but you get aroused to this?? ur gay”. and so i’m here ranting and not making sense. i miss being boy crazy so fucking much i hate living like this i used to be so BOY CRAZY that these things and experiences and thoughts never affected me but now that it’s all gone and it’s been so long since i’ve felt any of it the intrusive thoughts hit me harder. ok i’m done sorry this is all over the place.
Anybody else use their lack of sexual history as a way for OCD to use as evidence? I just start remembering all the times I could have had sex but didn’t. I also had a HUGE porn addiction that made it so difficult to function. I remember that I was always afraid of having sex with anyone other than my ex because I was emotionally abused and I felt like if she found out, she would get mad and at the time, that would break me. I’d always overthink about sex and what could happen if It happened at that moment. My mind would fill with questions and I just would end up saying I rather not have any sex. My therapist believed I could have shown signs of OCD early on. I believe that’s what’s happened then and now. I don’t like guys romantically and I love getting excited for a woman. I love that feeling of seeing a pretty girl and getting the chance to know her. It makes my heart so happy. But I would do everything I can to avoid speaking with a guy, even if he was not conventionally attractive. Porn makes me feel like I could turn gay since I watched it so much. I’ve lost interest in watching porn which is a good thing but now ocd is like “oh you don’t get turned on by porn anymore, and those videos had girls in it so that must mean you don’t like girls anymore.” Like how stupid is that. I also saw on Reddit and Quora that people were saying porn can change your attraction/make you lose interest in girls. I know Quora and Reddit are OCD’s best ways at scaring you and these forums are never to be taken seriously, but man does it trigger you. Anyways if you made it this far, thank you. I’m just overthinking a lot today
Hi everyone, Lately, I’ve been feeling confused and anxious about my sexuality, which has been challenging to navigate. I’ve always identified as straight and am currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. However, I’ve recently started questioning if I might have some attraction to women, which has caused me a lot of anxiety. To be clear, I’ve never experienced romantic or physical attraction toward women in real life, but I have watched lesbian porn in the past. Now, I can’t help but worry that this might mean I’m attracted to women after all. On top of this, I’ve noticed a decrease in my sexual desire for my boyfriend, which only intensifies my concerns about both my sexual orientation and my relationship. This confusion is something I’ve never dealt with before, and it’s starting to take an emotional toll. If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate any advice or insights on how you worked through it. What helped you find clarity? Someone mentioned that my anxiety might be OCD-related, though I’m not familiar with OCD in this context. I’d love to hear from anyone with experience in navigating these kinds of thoughts or anxiety. I’m open to any personal stories, resources, or guidance on how to approach this situation, both for myself and in communication with my partner. I want to better understand what I’m feeling without being overwhelmed by fear. Thank you in advance for your support!
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