My ocd seems to have shifted. I used to really be afraid of psychosis and honestly still am, but now I can’t stop questioning life. I keep wondering how we came to exist and why everything looks the way it is. Like trees, animals, water etc. I keep thinking about infinity and size and it scares me. I keep creating all these theories about life and they’re very intrusive. I’m scared I’m going to believe them and go crazy. My biggest fear is just going crazy ? is this still just ocd/depersonalization?

Yes, this is existential ocd; i spent 2 years reading endlessly about nature of the self and what all this is; could not go a moment without trying to attain enlightenment as taught by hinduism. I would suggest telling the thoughts, "i don't know exactly what existence is, but that is okay." And then move to another activity for a while. You will likely have to do this many, many times for your brain to get the message. Good luck!

Do you mind if I ask you what you experienced those times? The theories is what kills me. They give me panic attacks. I’m always thinking things of like multiverse stuff or that we’re all bacteria on this planet. These thoughts make me panic or depressed because of my fear. It makes me feel like nothing is real. Did you experience that?

Hi! This can be a troubling topic for many. I believe in God and that we were created by Him. Yes, that means God had to always exist but how did He even come to be? I truly do not know the answer to this but I know He has always existed. If He didn’t exist how could humans exist? How could dust, debris, rocks and so on in the Big Bang possibly be “intelligent” enough or even able to create life? I’m sorry if I confused you even more but please think about this! Also, please remember that you are SO immensely loved by a God who died to know you. This life is full of daunting questions but I hope you can find comfort in God for those questions you can’t seem to find answers to and for anything and everything else??????!!!

Omie, i would continously ask "who am i"? Try to achieve a thoughtless state to experience true reality. My anxiety came mainly from trying to mimic the lives of certain hindu saints. Cleanliness, organization, etc. If i bent, dirtied, or smudged a spiritual text or picture i would have terrible anxiety. Lots of checking my home/belongings to ensure they were just right, like saints would live. Looking back it was actually all so ridiculous