tips on how to not be codependent?

Specifically how can my fiance best support me without offering reassurance? I'm trying to encourage myself to grow and keep trying ERP, but I'm not sure how I can include my partner in a healthy way. I plan on talking to my therapist about it soon, but I wanted to hear thoughts from people who have been dealing with it themselves.

I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.

So i had really bad pure ocd but recently it’s been sooo much better but i’m in a relationship and me and my bf dated before about 2 years ago then we broke up and now we are back together but i’m having an issue where i will try to go back years and find something i did wrong and i really do not want to find anything to feel wrong about or guilty specifically something i may have done wrong to my boyfriend but the thing is i’m a good girlfriend and i’m very loyal so i don’t want to ruin something for me because of my past if that makes sense like i can’t remember doing anything wrong but my brain keeps going are u sure let’s look at all your interactions with people and it’s so annoying i just wanna live my life in the present does anyone have any tips