Seeing so many post on POCD,HOCD,TOCD and others. Makes me feel so bad and realize how sick ocd can make us. It’s so sad honestly, breaks my heart. I just want this stop and we could just all heal. I’m personally afraid that hocd won’t ever stop. I feel like some days it’ll make me ruminate and other I’ll feel calmer but the question is still here. To awareness of it will still be there. I’ve have hocd for 5 months. Sometimes I truly think I’m lesbian. Others I’m just like “but I can’t be, I have feelings for boys and like doing sexual things with them” but I just keep going back and forth. Trying to look Into certain things I do and why I’m doing them. I’ve never developed feelings for a girl. I feel so guilty and bad to be going through this when I have a boyfriend. I feel like I’m doing him wrong. And it sucks so bad. I enjoy being with him I feel myself happy with him. Yet I still worry about this. Also, is there still anyone here with hocd? I haven’t seen many people on here. I’d like to get some advice or not feel alone I guess. Thank you.

Still here and I feel exactly the same, just remember you are not alone ??

The only thing we can really do is accept uncertainty. Yesterday, I had a bad relapse and did some of my worst compulsions (flipping coins for “answers”) because I was so sick of not knowing. At some point, I kept repeating that I was bi just so I can get over this and because it “made sense,” despite me not actually being bi. I know everyone repeats the same thing like “accept uncertainty and the fear itself” and while it helps a bit, your mind continues going back and forth. What I do in order to let off some steam is kinda say how you’re feeling aloud. Like find something to “talk” to and basically scream at. I was in my kitchen so I yelled at my decorative plant and basically told my “H-OCD” off

Oh I can relate to you with the whole flipping coins for answers! I do it with an online magic 8 ball! Most of the time it says no but yet I can’t stop doing it just to be 100% sure. Thank you guys for replying.

It makes you feel insane for a second but I felt a lot better once I got everything off my chest. I learned that sometimes, it’s okay to be angry, like this disorder isn’t frustrating enough. I’ll always be around if you need me ❤️

I haven’t experienced HOCD as much as other themes but tonight it got me. I was watching tv and a lesbian woman was on the tv and I instantly felt attracted to her and had intrusive images. Then the panic set in because I love my incredible boyfriend more than anything on this earth. I suffer from cheating OCD the fear of cheating on him. He’s amazing. So this HOCD added to the cheating ocd and now I feel like I’m in a panic. I remember being a teen or young adult (20/21) and thinking I was attracted to another female on the tv but I actually think I enjoyed the sexual images that my brain created of her. This was long before I met my boyfriend. But now the ocd is latching onto that memory and freaking me out more. I feel guilty even typing that. I would really appreciate any help guys xx

Me too! I also do yes/no buttons, random wheel spinners, and yes/no tarot’s online as well. And same here, it said “no” most of the time, “Straight” and sometimes “bi.” It took a lot in order for me to stop doing those because those things are used for small decisions such as what you’re going to wear or where you wanna eat. I also used it for my other obsessions as well. And no problem!

Yeah @advice, exactly! When I had the thought years ago that this celeb’s character was attractive and had sexual images that didn’t bother me but I felt aroused me, I didn’t care! But now - I feel guilty even typing that because I love my boyfriend so much that I now fear of being gay or bi!! How do I calm my head down guys? It’s 2am and I’m up early but I’m ruminating and ruminating!! Xx

@ ELO I can relate, about a year ago I wouldn’t have cared if I was lesbian or bi. But now that I have a boyfriend I fear it so much. It might just be that if we were we’d love them. and that’s another fear isn’t it.

@Esosa yes!!! Uhh I do it with anything still, like “if this says ... then I’m lesbian, if it doesn’t then I’m not” like why do I decide to torture myself this way.

Omg 2am??? Go to sleeep! Just accept the uncertainty. If you love your boyfriend you can’t be gay, and even if you were bi you can still love your boyfriend. And don’t let that trigger you.

Thank you @advice! I’ll try and sleep! Goodnight and stay strong!