- Date posted
- 1y ago
How do i deal with chronic guilt
I accidentally misgendered my friend today. They recently came out to me as nonbinary and when I was talking in a group chat with them I called them a man. I immediately was going to correct myself, but then I didn't because I didn't want to just out them without their permission so I didn't. Anyway my friend messaged me about it and I apologized a few times and explained why I didn't correct myself, and I promised it wouldn't happen again. They're ok with it but I just feel the guilt eating me up. Everytime I make a mistake it feels like a stain on my person I can never remove, like I'm permanently tainted. I feel like such an awful person. The craziest part is im nonbinary myself. This friend has misgendered me before several times and I never really get upset with them, I've corrected them a couple times but I stopped because I felt obnoxious doing it so much. And I turned around and did the same thing. I feel so bad I don't know what to do with myself. I feel so anxious and I want to cry. Morality OCD is hell, every mistake I make feels like proof im some awful irredeemable person. And I feel bad talking about it because it feels like gaining sympathy to excuse bad things I've done. I dont know how to deal.