- Date posted
- 1y
New subtype for me?
I had the fleeting thought of what it would be like to be a woman, and now I'm overthinking about being possibly transgender.
I had the fleeting thought of what it would be like to be a woman, and now I'm overthinking about being possibly transgender.
Been there myself, way more than a fleeting thought at times. Epr techniques work for this as well
I haven't been able to talk to my therapist for months. She's been heavily booked. So I'm kinda on my own with this theme
@OCDwontownme This and soocd and other "taboo" themes seem to freak us out more than others. But, the same ERP tools work. Accept uncertainty. Just let it there, maybe I do, maybe I don't. I was obsessed I was gay, and am past that now by just allowing it for some time. That doesn't mean agreeing with it, just allow it. It'll pass. Trust the tools
@Someone99 How do you do that
@Confused Are you familiar with ERP, exposure, response, prevention at all?
@Someone99 I aspire to be like you. I struggled with POCD for a while but was able to get over that and with health ocd. However soocd is the one that has been stuck for years!
@TBdiz89 Thank you for the kind words. It's a daily walk for all of us. So many on here are hot hard with soocd because it seems to be tied to our hormones, desires, drive, etc. For me it was difficult but it did ease up as I remained consistent with the tools. Didn't feel right for a little while but I thought I have nothing to lose, so here goes ... And it helped. Trust the tools you used with the other themes. One may not always work, or ever work, so alternating helped me, and maybe you can even discover a new tool that may help you through this one?
@TBdiz89 Pocd is the scariest for me lol. Soocd lasts longer but yipe it's scary
@Someone99 *hit hard with soocd ...
@Someone99 No am not
Dealing with this as well, it definitely is freaking me out. Come after a thought during a soocd panic attack which lead me to think what if I turn trans. I have never thought this is my life or never felt different. I got ocd this year and started with harm/soocd/now I guess the new taboo theme tocd. It’s crazy how it ties in together but damn can’t believe my thoughts put me in such a hole. I haven’t started erp just yet, but open to ideas how to get myself back to knowing I’ll be ok and I can conquer this.
My boyfriend is ftm, and I’m very supportive of him and his journey with gender. It opened a lot of conversations between us about each others gender/sexuality. I’ve known for a long time that i’m pan, but I’ve struggled a lot with my own gender. My OCD causes me to doubt myself a lot, one day i feel hyper feminine and have no desire to identify as a man, but the next day I am extremely dysphoric about my body/hair/voice and wonder if I’m ftm as well? and then it goes away the next day. Some days I don’t even feel feminine OR masculine. I spend a lot of my time ruminating over if i’m trans, and abt the possibility of me spending the rest of my life either not knowing, or settling for whatever’s easiest for myself and everyone around me. I don’t know if I actually believe I’m a man, or if I’m pretending, or if it’s just in my head. Its like I don’t know what to trust since my opinion is different every day, and it feels like I can’t trust my own intuition. It’s starting to affect my sex drive, my sleep, my self confidence, and my self image. It’s really confusing me and I’m wondering if anyone can relate or has some advice. Thank you:)
Is it normal for this theme to legit make you feel like you’re the opposite gender and that’s what you want to be and it’s very convincing? And you just keep getting images and scenarios in ur head of you transitioning and actually going through with it? This is sooo scary and i don’t feel like myself at all anymore. It’s making me not feel like a woman or myself of how I’ve always been my whole life. I’m really nervous and scared, it’s really make me feel like this is my true feelings/ self ): it’s causing me to feel weird k. My own body and feel weird about my body parts. Like my brain is literally thinking as a trans person would feel or think like wtf??? Is this normal?!? Pls someone let me know. & and it’s making me feel like I’m attracted to woman all the sudden and i keep getting flashes of that in my head. I’m in a relationship and im scared this is gonna ruin things bc the way this theme is making me feel and my body. Ugh ihml, need some advice. Has anyone experienced exactly this??
Last night I took my meds to help me sleep and I kept waking up throughout the night with thoughts like “I’m really a lesbian now” or “I’m ok with it now, this is what I prefer”. I really feel like everyday for a couple of days now, I’ve woken up feeling more and more like my preferences have completely changed. The first few days was major anxiety, panic attacks, then I had a really bad double-bind and reversal spiral, and I became a little bit calmer since then. Now I feel like I’m managing the thoughts without anxiety or panic like I’m used to, but now it feels like I really want them and that I’m ok with it. Like I don’t care anymore. But the thing is, in between all of the mini spiral episodes I’ve had, I had these little moments of clarity like “I’m not giving up on my fantasies of men” or “I’ve always wanted men, that doesn’t just change”. But last night I’ve had really sexual dreams that I’m having trouble interpreting. I had one where I think it was me sleeping with a guy, but I woke up frantically because I think the roles got reversed, but I’m not sure. Another one I was a random woman with a husband, but I think the roles got reversed again so I woke up immediately. Both times it felt like arousal. Obviously I still care somewhat if I’m still here asking, but my brain or maybe me (I’m really not sure anymore) is telling me that I’m a lesbian now and I prefer it. It’s like I don’t care and want it now. It’s like I’m not even feeling confusion about it. I don’t know if it’s because of the meds, I’ve been distracted (family in town), because I’m in maybe quieter stages after two bad spiral episodes, or because I’ve really changed. It’s literally like I think being a lesbian will be enjoyable now but I don’t want that, even if my brain (and body apparently) keeps telling me that. I was told that ocd doesn’t change who you are, but now I’m worried that what I thought was background noise leading up to another spiral was suppressed self discovery (I’ve had two major soocd episodes in my life: late high school and now a few years later).
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