- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
The research is a compulsion. If possible try not to act on that or you're going to work yourself up big time. Try to limit your time researching and see if you can go a whole day with out it. If you can't. Try to do 8 hours or 5 hours. Start where you can and keep increasing your time away from research. YouTube is full of bs people trying to make money, and most of those people don't have proper training. It's not the place to treat your ocd. You're in the right place on this app. Vent it out here.
- Date posted
- 5y
Im so sorry to hear youre feeling so horrible! Looking up videos like that is a compulsion, but as we all know, compulsions never truly make us feel better or make the intrusive thoughts go away. In fact, they can make it much worse. In the future Id recommend fighting the urge to look up those videos, avoid doing the compulsion (which is EXTREMELY HARD but the more you try, the closer you come to winning against OCD). To handle the anxiety, I like to use the app called “Clear Fear”. It has great exercises on there to immediately calm anxiety, even anxiety caused by OCD. Hope this helps!!
- Date posted
- 5y
One mentality I take is that if I can avoid my compulsions I'll feel better. Avoid doesn't mean eliminate. Don't look at is one big mountain, that makes things harder on your mind and can crate anxiety. Look at it as small hills you'll climb one by one. Right now just remmebr to avoid your compulsions. Even if you do act on them, dont beat yourself up. You're not going compulsion free. Just reducing them for now. Trying not acting on them. I acted on a compulsion I had this morning once. It's been almost 3 hours and I'm still fighting the urge. Am I going to give in? I could. Am I going to forget before I act again? I could. Accept uncertainty the best you can. I'm doing it right now and it's hard. My mind is racing. I can't control my thoughts. Nobody can. We all can control our actions though. I'm trying to focus on controlling those right now. Uncertainty is the worst feeling when my ocd kicks in. I'm trying to learn to live with it and it's helping me slowly reverse this. Im still not anywhere near where I want to be but I'm doing better because of this.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you very much for your realistic and logical answer, these kinds of answers help me the most. I know exactly how you feel because OCD is like hell. The fear of just finding out about the “true” own sexuality much later in life, the fear of lying all time to myself, the fear of being in denial... the fear of thinking “I must be gay” when a date with a boy doesn’t work as I expected it... the internet is like hell for HOCD, everything just really everything can be a sign if being gay when you google it...
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much I downloaded it right now and it seems to be really good
- Date posted
- 5y
And my huge respect for you trying!!
- Date posted
- 5y
I absolutely understand, I also got off all social media accounts and I feel better without social media, as you said it, too much uninformed people, too much opinions and not facts and too much people who think they‘re experts... same with forums... uncertainty is also my biggest problem and fear... I don‘t know why I have HOCD...or why I have OCD... it’s just making me sick
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you very much ...
- Date posted
- 5y
The internet is bad for my ocd and bad for my anxiety. I got off all social media because it was giving me anxiety. I'm not recommending this to everyone, but for me it helped. Seeing all the politics, sexual things, nudity, debates, even seeing people hate on movies and other stuff I like, all that made me take a break and now that I'm off it I don't think I'll ever go back. Too many opinions on the internet for me. I like facts. Yes and no. Uncertainty is the worst for me. The internet, especially social media, brought more uncertainty into my life so I eliminated it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 17w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 17w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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