- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
The research is a compulsion. If possible try not to act on that or you're going to work yourself up big time. Try to limit your time researching and see if you can go a whole day with out it. If you can't. Try to do 8 hours or 5 hours. Start where you can and keep increasing your time away from research. YouTube is full of bs people trying to make money, and most of those people don't have proper training. It's not the place to treat your ocd. You're in the right place on this app. Vent it out here.
- Date posted
- 6y
Im so sorry to hear youre feeling so horrible! Looking up videos like that is a compulsion, but as we all know, compulsions never truly make us feel better or make the intrusive thoughts go away. In fact, they can make it much worse. In the future Id recommend fighting the urge to look up those videos, avoid doing the compulsion (which is EXTREMELY HARD but the more you try, the closer you come to winning against OCD). To handle the anxiety, I like to use the app called “Clear Fear”. It has great exercises on there to immediately calm anxiety, even anxiety caused by OCD. Hope this helps!!
- Date posted
- 6y
One mentality I take is that if I can avoid my compulsions I'll feel better. Avoid doesn't mean eliminate. Don't look at is one big mountain, that makes things harder on your mind and can crate anxiety. Look at it as small hills you'll climb one by one. Right now just remmebr to avoid your compulsions. Even if you do act on them, dont beat yourself up. You're not going compulsion free. Just reducing them for now. Trying not acting on them. I acted on a compulsion I had this morning once. It's been almost 3 hours and I'm still fighting the urge. Am I going to give in? I could. Am I going to forget before I act again? I could. Accept uncertainty the best you can. I'm doing it right now and it's hard. My mind is racing. I can't control my thoughts. Nobody can. We all can control our actions though. I'm trying to focus on controlling those right now. Uncertainty is the worst feeling when my ocd kicks in. I'm trying to learn to live with it and it's helping me slowly reverse this. Im still not anywhere near where I want to be but I'm doing better because of this.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you very much for your realistic and logical answer, these kinds of answers help me the most. I know exactly how you feel because OCD is like hell. The fear of just finding out about the “true” own sexuality much later in life, the fear of lying all time to myself, the fear of being in denial... the fear of thinking “I must be gay” when a date with a boy doesn’t work as I expected it... the internet is like hell for HOCD, everything just really everything can be a sign if being gay when you google it...
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much I downloaded it right now and it seems to be really good
- Date posted
- 6y
And my huge respect for you trying!!
- Date posted
- 6y
I absolutely understand, I also got off all social media accounts and I feel better without social media, as you said it, too much uninformed people, too much opinions and not facts and too much people who think they‘re experts... same with forums... uncertainty is also my biggest problem and fear... I don‘t know why I have HOCD...or why I have OCD... it’s just making me sick
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you very much ...
- Date posted
- 6y
The internet is bad for my ocd and bad for my anxiety. I got off all social media because it was giving me anxiety. I'm not recommending this to everyone, but for me it helped. Seeing all the politics, sexual things, nudity, debates, even seeing people hate on movies and other stuff I like, all that made me take a break and now that I'm off it I don't think I'll ever go back. Too many opinions on the internet for me. I like facts. Yes and no. Uncertainty is the worst for me. The internet, especially social media, brought more uncertainty into my life so I eliminated it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
- Date posted
- 15w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
- Date posted
- 12w
So I’m afraid that I have HOCD, but at the same time that I might also be homosexual. Is that possible? I have all the typical compulsions… checking for attraction, analyzing thoughts, analyzing the past, analyzing emotions, searching the internet. Is it really HOCD? When I see anything related to LGBT, I get strongly triggered. Sometimes I observe how my body reacts around people, but most often I check with ChatGPT to calm myself down, although it doesn’t last long—it depends. I also compare myself to other straight women who look like lesbians, or to lesbians who look like they’re straight. I had a phase where I was analyzing my body… whether I have too much hair, whether I have an Adam’s apple, whether I act like a lesbian without realizing it. I also have the typical intrusive thoughts like “did something from the past actually mean something, or is it a sign?” “am I just lying to myself?” “what if I’m in denial?” “what if I’ve ignored signs my whole life and lied to myself?” “what if I’ll never be able to fall in love with a guy?” “what if there are too many signs and proofs and it’s true?” “what if it’s not HOCD at all?” And much more. But now I’m scared that it’s both—that I have HOCD and that I’m homosexual. I’ve cried multiple times because of this and it’s been going on for 7 months. Some days are better, some are worse. And there’s so much ‘evidence’ that I won’t even list now—over these seven months I’ve found so many things from my past and dreams that I feel like there has to be something to it. I’ve also had around four panic attacks because of this. And I truly believe I have HOCD and that I’m also homosexual, which is killing me and it feels horrible. I just want to be sure that im straight and be at peace. When im doubting and thinking that im a lesbian i feel like im not at peace and i hate it. But u feel like i just need to accept it but i don’t want to and i just want to have a boyfriend, kids but im scared that it’s not possible for me because im lesbian and i actually just think that i want a boyfriend but in reality i don’t. Ughhhh help me.
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