- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
The research is a compulsion. If possible try not to act on that or you're going to work yourself up big time. Try to limit your time researching and see if you can go a whole day with out it. If you can't. Try to do 8 hours or 5 hours. Start where you can and keep increasing your time away from research. YouTube is full of bs people trying to make money, and most of those people don't have proper training. It's not the place to treat your ocd. You're in the right place on this app. Vent it out here.
- Date posted
- 5y
Im so sorry to hear youre feeling so horrible! Looking up videos like that is a compulsion, but as we all know, compulsions never truly make us feel better or make the intrusive thoughts go away. In fact, they can make it much worse. In the future Id recommend fighting the urge to look up those videos, avoid doing the compulsion (which is EXTREMELY HARD but the more you try, the closer you come to winning against OCD). To handle the anxiety, I like to use the app called “Clear Fear”. It has great exercises on there to immediately calm anxiety, even anxiety caused by OCD. Hope this helps!!
- Date posted
- 5y
One mentality I take is that if I can avoid my compulsions I'll feel better. Avoid doesn't mean eliminate. Don't look at is one big mountain, that makes things harder on your mind and can crate anxiety. Look at it as small hills you'll climb one by one. Right now just remmebr to avoid your compulsions. Even if you do act on them, dont beat yourself up. You're not going compulsion free. Just reducing them for now. Trying not acting on them. I acted on a compulsion I had this morning once. It's been almost 3 hours and I'm still fighting the urge. Am I going to give in? I could. Am I going to forget before I act again? I could. Accept uncertainty the best you can. I'm doing it right now and it's hard. My mind is racing. I can't control my thoughts. Nobody can. We all can control our actions though. I'm trying to focus on controlling those right now. Uncertainty is the worst feeling when my ocd kicks in. I'm trying to learn to live with it and it's helping me slowly reverse this. Im still not anywhere near where I want to be but I'm doing better because of this.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you very much for your realistic and logical answer, these kinds of answers help me the most. I know exactly how you feel because OCD is like hell. The fear of just finding out about the “true” own sexuality much later in life, the fear of lying all time to myself, the fear of being in denial... the fear of thinking “I must be gay” when a date with a boy doesn’t work as I expected it... the internet is like hell for HOCD, everything just really everything can be a sign if being gay when you google it...
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much I downloaded it right now and it seems to be really good
- Date posted
- 5y
And my huge respect for you trying!!
- Date posted
- 5y
I absolutely understand, I also got off all social media accounts and I feel better without social media, as you said it, too much uninformed people, too much opinions and not facts and too much people who think they‘re experts... same with forums... uncertainty is also my biggest problem and fear... I don‘t know why I have HOCD...or why I have OCD... it’s just making me sick
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you very much ...
- Date posted
- 5y
The internet is bad for my ocd and bad for my anxiety. I got off all social media because it was giving me anxiety. I'm not recommending this to everyone, but for me it helped. Seeing all the politics, sexual things, nudity, debates, even seeing people hate on movies and other stuff I like, all that made me take a break and now that I'm off it I don't think I'll ever go back. Too many opinions on the internet for me. I like facts. Yes and no. Uncertainty is the worst for me. The internet, especially social media, brought more uncertainty into my life so I eliminated it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I feel like a really terrible person right now, I keep replaying this, and no matter what I can’t remember what happened, it’s like my brain is purposely not letting me think about it. Without wasting any more time, I’ll get into it. Basically, I was at Walmart, and looking at cards with My Dad, I saw anime ones, took pictures of them for my sister, even ones that were anime kids, because I did my best to ignore it, so I looked at a Hunter x Hunter card, I stared at the black haired kid, being all like “ I’m glad I’m not having any thoughts about this, I’m glad I’m having normal thoughts and not thinking anything” I felt happy, then as soon as I looked at killua (white haired kid), everything collapsed. I don’t know what happened, my brain won’t let me remember. But I’ll give bits and pieces. I think that I had false attraction, and something in my head, said “oh, I wouldn’t mind being attracted.” “He is attractive, and I’m attracted to him.” “I remember a girl thinking he is attractive and he is” “ It’s not wrong to be attracted” “ I don’t care about his age” .. something along the lines of that, and now I’m panicking super hard, because I’m worried if I said those things, I feel like I ruined my life that I’m a pe//do and deserve nothing, idk what to do, I feel terrible… I remember when I was having the intrusive thoughts, I was panicking and was worrying, but it kept playing out, and I kept hearing things talk, it was drawn out too long, that now I feel convinced that I was saying those things, I tested it too, and I can confirm that I didn’t say that, but why am I still not convinced? I know I wouldn’t say those things, I was hoping the complete opposite would happen. My brain kept making me feel like it wasn’t wrong and it was okay. Maybe that’s why I’m so convinced I did that. I’m just spiraling super bad right now, I don’t know what to do or what to think, I don’t know if I said that or not… even if I did test it, I genuinely just feel like I said it, and I wanted it, because I still feel uncertain, I still feel like I said it, part of me just wants to be like oh I did and so I can move on, not because I agree with it, I just don’t know what else to do… I’m really scared.
- Date posted
- 22w
I was scrolling on here and now I’m having a panic attack. Someone posted resources and one of them was a NOCD article and I thought that was so great. I clicked on it because I like learning about this disorder and I love NOCD’s resources. But I read that one of the compulsions for pocd is watching cp? I thought that wasn’t a thing with POCD. I literally cannot breathe because I feel like this thing is now possible and I cant calm down. That was the first time I’ve ever seen that stated as a compulsion. I feel like I’m dying. What triggered my spiral in the first place was months ago someone contacted me and told me they watched it but claimed OCD and I felt absolutely horrified. I deleted my account and removed that person entirely. I am freaking out so bad I really can’t seem to breathe right now
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- Date posted
- 19w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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