- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
SUICIDE OCD
Starting my OCD journey tomorrow with NOCD. I’m so ready to get tips and tricks and send this OCD Flying out of the park! Anyone with suicidal OCD that’s newly starting and want to chat?
Starting my OCD journey tomorrow with NOCD. I’m so ready to get tips and tricks and send this OCD Flying out of the park! Anyone with suicidal OCD that’s newly starting and want to chat?
I have suicidal ocd and it is so hard!
@emmaelliott21 Do you have instagram? We could chat!
@JessieB Sure, it’s emmaelliott21
@emmaelliott21 Just requested you!
Currently struggling with this. I’m 4 months postpartum from my daughter and just moved to Hawaii. My thoughts are so overpowering of suicide, but then I’m like “I would never do this, I’m so happy, what is happening why am I thinking this” and I usually always get random thoughts of “how would I do it” and then I go “I wouldn’t do it because I don’t want to die”…. Pls tell me I’m not crazy haha
@KenzieRae96 Yep! That’s how the old brain is tricking us. Right now I barely get thoughts unless I find myself looking for them. But I do have the terrible anxiety everyday.
Pretty new to NOCD but very new to this particular theme 🥲
@Anonymous Yea it’s a real pain in the rump roast!
@JessieB No joke! I reallllly despise this one. I've been obsessed with worrying I have depression
@Anonymous Same! Exact same. My most troubling thought has been why are you making appointments, planning future events, buying stuff. My brain did the why do that you won’t be here. Now I don’t even get the thought. I just get a zing of anxiety. So dumb! Errrrrrr
@JessieB YES! man ocd is so unoriginal lol like I will be tired (from something totally explainable like poor sleep night before or hormones) and I will think "omg...they say ppl with depression have fatigue, it must be that" and spiral
@Anonymous Yep!!!! When I get anxiety I want to lay on the couch and relax. And first thing I think it’s welp! You prolly have depression. 🤦🏼♀️🙄
@JessieB Literally same. I saw a news story friday about a woman that committed suicide bc she had post partum depression and I spent the weekend crying bc I told myself I couldn't have children then in the case I ever develope that. My husband is very understanding but even he was like "honey...cmon" lol
@Anonymous Oh yes. The poor husbands lol. Mine too. He now does the “I’m not gonna reassure you.” lol. Perinatal OCD is when I first realized my thoughts were intrusive. Very scary. But I think I just ignored them and they went away. That was 11 years ago. So not really sure. I do remember googling my thoughts bc it scared the 💩 outta me.
@JessieB Ugh I remember the first moments when I realized I was getting scared of my own brain. If you want to chat more about it you're welcome to dm me on insta! mo.millan 😊
@Anonymous Will do!!!
@Anonymous Sent a request!
Hey! It's definitely a really hard one and probably the scariest one I've gone through. My main theme is health related but out of no where the suicide theme came up. I'm glad you're in therapy, it changed my life and my therapist saved my life. You got this, trust in yourself and remember all of the tools they will teach you to help manage this. I went from being terrified of being alone and feeling trapped in my own mind to feeling like myself and feeling a lot more prepared when shit hits the fan!
Hi everyone, I’m Andrea and I am a member of the Intake Team here at NOCD. In junior high, I was known as the “aneurysm girl” because I was convinced any small headache meant I was dying. At just 12 years old, I read something that triggered my OCD, and from that moment on, my brain latched onto catastrophic health fears. Any strange sensation in my body felt like proof that something was seriously wrong. I constantly sought reassurance, avoided being alone, and felt trapped in an endless cycle of fear. Over time, my OCD shifted themes, but health anxiety was always there, lurking in the background. I turned to drinking to numb my mind, trying to escape the fear that never let up. Then, in 2016, everything spiraled. I was sitting at work, feeling completely fine, when suddenly my vision felt strange—something was “off.” My mind convinced me I was having a stroke. I called an ambulance, launching myself into one of the darkest periods of my life. I visited doctors multiple times a week, terrified I was dying, yet every test came back normal. The fear never loosened its grip. For years, I cycled in and out of therapy, desperately trying to find answers, but no one recognized what was really happening. I was always told I had anxiety or depression, but OCD was never mentioned. I was suicidal, believing I would never escape the torment of my mind. It wasn’t until 2022—after years of struggling, hitting rock bottom, and finally seeking specialized OCD treatment—that I got the right diagnosis. ERP therapy at NOCD was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Today, I’m 34, sober, and living a life I never thought was possible. Do I still have hard days? Absolutely. But I am no longer a prisoner to my fears. The thoughts still come, but they don’t control me anymore. They don’t dictate my every move. Life isn’t perfect, but it no longer knocks me off my feet. If you’re struggling with health OCD or somatic OCD, I see you. I know how terrifying and isolating it can be. But I also know that it can get better. If you have any questions about health & somatic OCD, ERP, and breaking the OCD cycle, I’d love to tell you what I’ve learned first hand. Drop your questions below, and I’ll answer all of them!
i am starting NOCD therapy on monday and was just curious on others’ experiences! what happens in your sessions, generally speaking? how do you feel during and after? i’m excited but also nervous to start. i’ve been in talk therapy for years with minimal improvement with my ocd, so im hopeful to start feeling better.
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
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