- Username
- Loranqadri
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Exposure
Have doing exposures these few days as I need to go yo the university and I return home totally collapsing and crying, why my mind doesn’t want to release the thoughts?
Have doing exposures these few days as I need to go yo the university and I return home totally collapsing and crying, why my mind doesn’t want to release the thoughts?
Our brains evolved over millions of years to protect us from danger and keep us safe. Hearing the crack of a branch in the forest and making the split second decision to run for it is what kept our ancestors alive long enough to allow us to exist today. With OCD our brains are continuing that longstanding job of keeping us safe by looking for threats, but they're misfiring, creating fear and guilt, and generating intrusive thoughts and images in a misinformed effort to keep us safe from a threat that isnt there. Its why OCD feels so real, because to that primal part of our brain it is. Its also why our brain doesn't want to let these thoughts go, because it sees them as a mortal danger to us. Its also what makes you and every other OCD sufferer so so brave. To get through it you have to learn to sit with these very real thoughts and feelings that are screaming at you to respond with the same urgency they would have shouted at our ancestors in order to get them to run from a Tiger. Really its genuinely incredible how brave people with OCD are when doing these exposures. It would be like asking any regular person to stand completely still and do nothing while a Tiger lunges at them, thats how brave you're being.
@FightOCDwithme Thank you very much for your kind words 🙏
What a great explanation! The best I've ever read on this community board. Might I add that ERP therapy may make us feel worse before we see improvement. Simply put, OCD is fighting to keep you on its treadmill. But it WILL get better if we work on it. Recovery tends to be messy, not linear.
Every therapist I had so far told me I HAVE to do exposure therapy, when I refused one even ended the treatment. My current therapist is an absolute angel, but when it comes to compulsions all she ever says is that I should try to stop. Everytime I do my therapy “homework” and try to resist urges I get extremely overwhelmed and end up feeling worse about the situation etc. and avoiding it even more. I told her that and now she wants me to actively engage in such situations IN therapy, which I’m absolutely dreading but I’m not sure how to communicate that I’m positive this won’t help me.
+18 TRIGGER WARNING I’ve been trying not to post as much on here, but it’s been a rough time facing these thoughts on my own. I’ve been trying to force myself to move on and not take my thoughts so seriously but it’s hard not to sit with them. Basically, to try to cope, I’ve been watching expose videos on internet drama and those who have been “cancelled”. Sometimes, though, it can just get to be too overwhelming as I start comparing myself with the people in these videos and I just want to cry because I’m just so disgusted with myself. I’m starting to question what’s real or not, if I’ve hurt people in the past or not, and separating my thoughts from my actions. I don’t trust myself anymore. I can’t find happiness in anything. I just keep pushing my friends and family away because every little thing triggers me. Sleep is the only time that I can find peace. Because then, I know that I’m not hurting anyone—including myself.
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