- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Treatment has to be prioritized in you want to heal. Once you do, you’ll see so many aspects of your life improve, not just this.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Just wanted to say I’m so so sorry that you’re struggling with going back to your early past and ruminating , that’s a horrific feeling , I know that for sure ?? You should work towards accepting the possibility that those things did happen. If they did , you have to understand that you were extremely young at the time so it doesn’t make you a horrible person at all. Little kids do things like that a lot , it can be called playing doctor. It can be a part of childhood development and there’s no reason for you to feel bad about it! Nor does it tell you anything about your sexuality. Also , it’s normal to look at a picture of a younger sibling and call them cute. I’ve done it before ! This is all common with OCD , but you should accept the possibilities that fear you and tel yourself that if your fears were true , you didn’t control to feel the way you do. As for God , as a Christian , I truly don’t believe he would ever hold any of this against you. He knows it’s troubling you and he understands your pain. Always here if you need anything ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Everything you described sounds like OCD to me. And it was brave of you to share your story. They say that the flip side of every OCD theme is a value. You probably value family, innocence, religion. Your brain was set up in a way that makes it so the things you care about most can become intrusive thoughts and your reactions to them can create obsessions. But it’s not your fault and there’s nothing to feel guilty about. You deserve compassion and care. Not judgment. It doesn’t sound to me like you were abused. It sounds to me like you were so adamantly against abuse that your brain wanted to keep being sure nothing ever happened. Can you reach out to an OCD specialist? A proper diagnosis can bring you some peace of mind and treatment can bring you relief that can greatly improve your life.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much ? You’re so sweet!!
- Date posted
- 5y
I even struggled with my sexuality and my gender identity. There have been so many times I got scared that I may have been trans. My anxiety can really work me up it’s crazy what the brain can. Do
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t know if I may have fixated on my younger brother. I also am not sure if that’s the right word. It just sucks not having any answers ever
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah for some reason I’ve always feared getting sexual assaulted. Like I remember growing up being super paranoid and afraid of men. That always stuck with me
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve tried but I get so busy with work and school it’s hard
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 17w
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
- Date posted
- 17w
i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.
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