- Username
- I<3wolfie
- Date posted
- 1y ago
My family deserves the real me
I want to beat OCD/GAD? because I'm tired of being this shell of my former self. My brain has been hollowed out by the chainsaw of fears while my body remains fixed in place, unable to run. I once loved to sing and write. I once remembered conversations with others. I once was actually able to hold them myself. Now, I can barely complete coherent sentences without my thoughts veering off. My OCD leaves me exhausted. It's so hard to feel rested when you think something awful is going to happen all the time. I have started to affectionately call it Chicken Little Syndrome. However, it doesn't deserve any affection. I am supposed to be savoring the little songs my toddler sings or the jokes my husband cracks, but I am worrying about making ends meet or about inadvertently not being able to help my patients. Why did I have such issues with time management last shift? Why couldn't I focus on other simple tasks? People have shown me so much love and I can't even think of the proper way to respond, nevermind coming up with something clever, eloquent, or creative. I am a shell. A chainsaw of fear. My family is so good. They deserve to have me back.