christan

I’m a Catholic Christian and I love my religion so much. I have found that every now and again, my OCD becomes triggered and I find myself distancing from God & my faith, and avoiding (or trying to) avoid God because religion starts to give me anxiety or trigger my OCD. Lately, like the past week and a half, I think I’ve been doing well. I’m still anxious (and talking about it makes me anxious too, so I guess this is kind of an exposure), but I’ve been trying to keep practicing my faith nonetheless. I’m proud of myself, I’ve been able to keep my OCD at bay and continue to live my life and practice my faith. I even have anxiety right now, but instead of dwelling on “what if?”, I’m trying to continue telling my OCD “so what?” I would just like to know, what do you guys do to deal with moments of anxiety or fear or irrational thinking?

OCD often makes me feel distant from God. I often feel unforgiven, unloved, and even hated. In my head I often view God as someone who hates me and who is always constantly disappointed in me. My relationship with him feels like an Obligation now more than a relationship. I’m always on the cusp of becoming an atheist, but I always draw myself back because I don’t want to give up my faith so fast, even if it’s been 4-5 years of living like this. I’m often at war with myself daily. There is never a day that I feel as though if I do one small thing whether it be buy something or eat something that I’m going to end up in eternal damnation. And even though I know it’s only OCD and it’s cognitive distortions, I still feel uneasy.

Is anyone else here a Christian dealing with ocd? I could use some support because I've been having a hard time growing close to God ever since my ocd started getting bad. I deal with a lot of religious intrusive thoughts such as being unforgivable, or being cursed or possessed. What's some advice?