- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
No I think those people will be ok. The police don’t have an alarm that flashes up whenever someone types something in on google. I totally get you. I have a fear of doing it because it’s something I find so so distressing and horrible. I work with children so it’s an area that is super sensitive to me - hence why OCD latches on sometimes. My brain knows I never have or would. But OCD likes to say ‘what if....’
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand this and have suffered with the exact same thought!! I read a lot about people searching for it to test themselves. It really made me feel bad for them because that’s such an evil compulsion for OCD to give you :( I had the fear that I’d done the same thing! But obviously I never, ever have. But my brain would say ‘what if you have done it but forgot about it or repressed it???’ So scary but there’s so many people who relate to you! You know you’d never do anything like that
- Date posted
- 5y
I felt so bad for this person also because they were clearly suffering so much and I felt so sorry for them. But then I keep thinking and thinking, would those people have been arrested because of looking up child pornography?! because it was the ocd and not what they like/want/are etc
- Date posted
- 5y
I always wonder that too. I once read a post from a woman who went to the police because she felt bad for typing it in. The police said she should go home and stop worrying. I think they use their common sense and know whether people are actually dangerous or not. I have never personally done it but I feel sorry for those with POCD who have. They must see such awful things, I can’t even imagine :(
- Date posted
- 5y
I hear ya. I’m definitely always worried the police are coming to take me away forever and I’ll ruin my entire life, marriage, family, friends Fun fun fun stuff! Sometimes need to laugh. Reading OCD help books is beneficial too
- Date posted
- 5y
Exactly what a shame! I’ve never personally done it either but then I obviously doubt that etc etc. Do you think police would arrest people for looking it up? So sad.
- Date posted
- 5y
Been dealing with this exact strain of thought for 2 years since watching an episode of Black Mirror (those who have seen it, know it all too well) It’s really tough at times. I’m terrified I’ll look it up one day. It’s a peak and valley type ordeal. My ERP is typing it into Google without hitting search. Letting it sit there and feel that fear that I could accidentally click search One thing that does help at times too is just saying “thanks thoughts” “thanks brain for keeping me safe” “good to have you in there” Like I said. It’s up and down. Focusing on whether police would arrest me or not makes it worse - definite form of reassurance. Just need to accept that could go to jail. If it ever gets real bad, sometimes just writing the words down on paper helps relieve it too
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s true. Well done for continuing your work, that’s an amazing achievement that you find on despite the OCD. I work with men with dementia so that is bad for my harm OCD. Thanks for your responses AB-xoxo!
- Date posted
- 5y
Sorry to hear that you deal with this jluby1993. You’re so strong. I’ve never seen black mirror but I think that would be a trigger for me. I think it’s just the thoughts of what happened to that person who watched it and tried to pleasure themselves to it. So my ocd does make me scared that I’ll look it up as well as it’s not something I would ever ever want to do. The uncertainty of police thinking things etc about internet history is I guess something I need to sit with. However, Well done for doing ERP!
- Date posted
- 5y
Do you think police would be understand if OCD and the themes like POCD? I’d hope so. I just can’t shake that poor person who tried to pleasure themselves over illegal content out of my head.
- Date posted
- 5y
No clue. I wish I knew - I guess that’s why we’re on here
- Date posted
- 5y
Very true, jluby1993
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
At the beginning of this year, I experienced false memories for the first time about watching bad stuff online, which I have never done in my life. I then turned to hours upon hours of googling and researching about it and reading articles about it. I'd sometimes google the same articles or topics multiple times a day. I then also remembered that I watched a clip once from Big Mouth (not knowing they were teens at the time). I became so afraid that I was being watched by the authorities or my ISP simply for doing research that I impulsively deleted my Google activity and became extremely paranoid that I was a bad person and a criminal, even though I'd never ever had these types of thoughts before. Then felt bad afterwards because I was like omg what if i am bad because what if it seems like I'm trying to hide a crime. I just really hate myself rn. I know we shouldn't ask for reassurance, but I'm more just pondering this, does this make me a bad person? Is there anyone else who has experienced something similar? Does this mean I still have OCD? or am I truly just only worried about how other people see me? Even while typing this, I'm asking myself, what does this all mean.
- Older adults with OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Real Events OCD
- Young adults with OCD
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- POCD
- Date posted
- 16w
I’m worried about times when Child P*rn or suspicious porn videos have come up in the past. I tend to use Twitter for porn and it’s not the most moderated app out there but I was never looking for videos or pictures or anything related to that. Unfortunately stuff still has popped up and I’m just worried about if my reaction was perfect because I have intense POCD I want to say it’s nearly as severe as it can get so I just feel as if I remember times when something suspicious came up and I stayed for a moment to make sure I wasn’t attracted or maybe left and came back to be sure I was safe and didn’t like it and I’m afraid this counts as seeking out or engaging in illegal content that would get me in trouble. I’ve never once looked this stuff up and anyone who creates saves distributed or likes this stuff I believe deserves prison time for life but I’m just so worried that I didn’t react in the way I should’ve I’m 20 years old so I’m relatively young and I’m jus worried about what this means about me any one else deal with anything similar?
- Date posted
- 10w
so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?
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