POCD TRIGGER Years ago I once read someone’s post on another website who had looked up child pornography because their intrusive thoughts were getting them so much that they just figured that they were that way inclined. And they said that they pleasured themselves to this and then felt horrible and sick and guilty. I felt sorry for this person as they were clearly suffering from OCD and were not a pedophile. For some reason, this has entered my head today as I already have the fear of police scanning what I write on here and coming for me with them getting the wrong idea of me. Then I think the police would of definitely have went for that person as seeing that on their search list on their computer ID etc. Then came the fear of ‘what if I have done that and searched for that’. But that’s something you would know if you had done I’m telling myself.

No I think those people will be ok. The police don’t have an alarm that flashes up whenever someone types something in on google. I totally get you. I have a fear of doing it because it’s something I find so so distressing and horrible. I work with children so it’s an area that is super sensitive to me - hence why OCD latches on sometimes. My brain knows I never have or would. But OCD likes to say ‘what if....’

I understand this and have suffered with the exact same thought!! I read a lot about people searching for it to test themselves. It really made me feel bad for them because that’s such an evil compulsion for OCD to give you :( I had the fear that I’d done the same thing! But obviously I never, ever have. But my brain would say ‘what if you have done it but forgot about it or repressed it???’ So scary but there’s so many people who relate to you! You know you’d never do anything like that

I felt so bad for this person also because they were clearly suffering so much and I felt so sorry for them. But then I keep thinking and thinking, would those people have been arrested because of looking up child pornography?! because it was the ocd and not what they like/want/are etc

I always wonder that too. I once read a post from a woman who went to the police because she felt bad for typing it in. The police said she should go home and stop worrying. I think they use their common sense and know whether people are actually dangerous or not. I have never personally done it but I feel sorry for those with POCD who have. They must see such awful things, I can’t even imagine :(

I hear ya. I’m definitely always worried the police are coming to take me away forever and I’ll ruin my entire life, marriage, family, friends Fun fun fun stuff! Sometimes need to laugh. Reading OCD help books is beneficial too

Exactly what a shame! I’ve never personally done it either but then I obviously doubt that etc etc. Do you think police would arrest people for looking it up? So sad.

Been dealing with this exact strain of thought for 2 years since watching an episode of Black Mirror (those who have seen it, know it all too well) It’s really tough at times. I’m terrified I’ll look it up one day. It’s a peak and valley type ordeal. My ERP is typing it into Google without hitting search. Letting it sit there and feel that fear that I could accidentally click search One thing that does help at times too is just saying “thanks thoughts” “thanks brain for keeping me safe” “good to have you in there” Like I said. It’s up and down. Focusing on whether police would arrest me or not makes it worse - definite form of reassurance. Just need to accept that could go to jail. If it ever gets real bad, sometimes just writing the words down on paper helps relieve it too

That’s true. Well done for continuing your work, that’s an amazing achievement that you find on despite the OCD. I work with men with dementia so that is bad for my harm OCD. Thanks for your responses AB-xoxo!

Sorry to hear that you deal with this jluby1993. You’re so strong. I’ve never seen black mirror but I think that would be a trigger for me. I think it’s just the thoughts of what happened to that person who watched it and tried to pleasure themselves to it. So my ocd does make me scared that I’ll look it up as well as it’s not something I would ever ever want to do. The uncertainty of police thinking things etc about internet history is I guess something I need to sit with. However, Well done for doing ERP!

Do you think police would be understand if OCD and the themes like POCD? I’d hope so. I just can’t shake that poor person who tried to pleasure themselves over illegal content out of my head.

No clue. I wish I knew - I guess that’s why we’re on here

Very true, jluby1993