- Username
- uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Also I forgot to add - I look like shit as a result, I have no motivation to dress nicely anymore, my skin is awful, I drink loads, my makeup routine is no more, I don’t sleep enough, I’m isolated and have no idea how to find more work cuz I never hear back so I gave up. I’m late a lot and have to make up time, every day drags and I am not productive of professional anymkre
It’s not about the job. It’s about the “snowball effect” everything has been slowly piling up to the point where it’s out of control. You can take that control back. That’s your decision. That’s your choice. Keep paddling against the current and keep fighting the rapids or go in a different direction. Take baby steps and change the habits. Spend your time and energy on YOU. Get to bed on time, limit drinking, get up early exercise and spend time getting ready. Get to work 10 mins. early for YOU. Stay positive and happy for your well being!
I’ve tried to apply for jobs and it always seems futile when o hear nothing back. I’m tempted daily to just get up leave and never return. I see no other way out
Why not improve yourself first and then quit the job. Make a plan and follow it. There’s no easy answer or solution, but you can always better yourself and your outlook on things.
I can relate to your post so much :(
Most jobs are soul sucking, but we need them to support our lives outside of the office. What can you do to improve your life outside of it all? Reinvest in old hobbies? Find new ones? Reconnect with friends? Make new ones? Redecorate? Fix this up? During your work day, try practicing mindfulness. If you can plug into some headphones a few minutes a day you can even do guided meditations with the Stop, Breath & Think app. You can also do something on the side to build new skills that could take you to a new job. This could be night classes, online classes, or self taught skills.
In having suicidal thoughts. And i wouldn’t ever do anything to myself but I sometimes wish a bus would hit me or something to end my pain. It’s a dark feeling. My ex that played with me and I thought was gonna be my husband is secretly married with two kids, and was chasing his ex after a drunk outburst I had from depression. He put me through mental abuse and I was jobless and financially dependent on him. Deep on the inside I felt like I didn’t deserve better than him because when I was working multiple jobs and in debt once a friend told me to try a sugar baby site. I couldn’t make it past two disgusting sexual encounters in a motel room and a bar basement. My dad has beat me up at the time and was emotionally abusive so I was in a rebellious period of my life where I wanted quick money to leave the house, except I was only conned and not paid and just used. I feel like if I ever open up to anyone ever again I will be rejected and judged from my past. I met my ex while trying to start a new life in Dubai and he sent me back to the US for a break after abusive fights erupted. I discovered his secrets and he broke up with me saying he lost feelings and was faking after my drunk outburst. I still can’t find a job in my field and am working as a cashier at a grocery store. I got offered an off the books job that pays more money and my mom is so controlling and a perfectionist she told me if I did that I wouldn’t have my car, so now I’m walking 40 min to my grocery store job in the suburbs. I’m so overwhelmed with depression and stress. My entire life fell apart. I have zero self esteem left.
I have not held a job in nearly a year now. Not since my son came home from the hospital. Something makes me unable to be away from my house and not feel overwhelmed by the anxiety it causes. I am exhausted and tired and more stressed than ever. My husband has started verbally abusing me and making me feel like everything is always my fault. If he loses something I am the first to be blamed for it and he doesnt let up until it's found. If I am the one to find it it fuels him more to tell me how I am a thief and a liar when I haven't done anything wrong. I have started to question my value as a person and I have a pain in my chest that leaves me feeling suffocated and unable to function. I spend so much of my time defending myself and feeling unsure whether or not I should defe d myself at all. I'm losing my mind. I finally found a new job and yesterday when I got to work I had a message from my husband saying that I stole his medication and I had such a horrible panic attack that I passed out in my car. I woke up and was almost two hours late for work so then I freaked out and I was too afraid to go inside to work. I called the HR department and explained everything going on so I have to see a doctor and get their paperwork turned back in before I can return to my job. I'm worried that even if I do get the forms filled out that I still will lose my job. I am so worried. Rent hasn't been paid yet this month and I have been so stressed out that I have virtually shut down altogether. I have no motivation to do anything and I am having to watch my little boy suffer through all the fighting and all the crying. I actually chopped off my own hair this afternoon. I was fed up and I don't know why I did it but my husband was recording my panic attacks and getting a video of me freaking out made it obvious to me that he doesn't care about me anymore other than as something to entertain himself when he is bored. He has become someone I can't trust and it gets tiring having to protect myself and who I am at all times. I don't know how to get out of this situation because I have literally no money and I have no friends in this town. I guess I'm just looking to feel accepted somewhere. I feel like a failure and a let down. I feel like something is seriously wrong with me.
So im 20 and I’m the assistant manager at my job, I constantly work with customers and I struggle with my role and a manager. I constantly feel like I’m less than and like I can never be good enough which is why I need constant reassurance. It replays in my head over and over like a broken record “you’re a failure” “not good enough” “you don’t deserve this role” to the point where I have to take a 10 to calm myself down. It’s exhausting, KNOWING I deserve this role but THINKING I’ll never be good enough. Anybody else struggle with this at work ?
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