False Memory OCD and actual memories

I got pure o. I don't think that's really the correct term but you get what i'm talking about. I would say that i have it because my ocd just picks and chooses what subtype it wants to bother with me today. Right now, i'm suffering with real event ocd and, hopefully, false memories. But i think i might have cracked the code on it. So my real events and false memories are pretty much private related, which makes it worse because there's no evidence or proof. There are some memories (real events) i can think about and accept that they happened. I still feel guilt and shame but i have closure from it. And there's the other memories (hopefully false memories) that i look at and just cannot wrap my head around. They feel so real like they actually happened and it gives me so much stress, but i sit there and think and think and think on it to see if it actually happened. Btw, these false memories come from my real events but in different situations and times. Like if it was true, i would accept it. Whether or not it made me feel guilt or shame, i would still accept it happened. This is what i think i figured out. I can look at a memory and know for certain it happened. I don't need evidence or nothing. The false memories make me question myself if it did happen. It's still very vivid and looks so real like a real memory, but i just can't be for certain if i did that. It makes me feel like i'm in denial of my past. Sometimes they both work together. A real event can happen but false memories can use its work to detail out the event, tryna make it much worse than it was. Or you can be thinking of a false memory but real events can try linking with that false memory to making you think you did do that. If this makes any sense or if what i’m saying is correct or i’m just crazy, please tell me. All advice is welcome. Thank you

Has false memory OCD affected you so badly that you feel that a lot of your memories period are unclear, vague, fuzzy and can’t recall correctly?

I basically can’t stop thinking about the false memories and I’ve been thinking about them non-stop since I’ve woken up today. I keep picturing the images / the false memory and I focus and fixate on the images and they feel so so real and realistic and when I think of them I get a feeling of “clarity” and a genuine sense of knowing and belief that deep down I know these memories are true and have happened and that I’m just in denial and lying to myself and you by saying that they’re false memories when in actuality I know they’re real which is also really frustrating and makes me feel uncomfortable. On top of that as I’m writing this message my stomach won’t stop turning and it really hurts and I just want to cry and my brain says that I’m experiencing these physical feelings because I know I am lying and just in denial and that these physical symptoms are proof that I am lying and just in denial and I just don’t know what to do or how to calm down. I really don’t want these memories to be true and I want them to be false more than anything in the world and I am not lying when I say I don’t know whether or not they’re real and I’m not lying or pretending they’re false memories but the more I say that to myself the more it feels like a lie and I’m just terrified at the thought and idea of them being even 1% true because why wouldn’t they be? Is it really possible to fabricate entire memories or doing sexual things to and with another person that are that detailed and realistic :/ My brain says things will only get better once I admit to the false memories and stop lying to myself and stop being in denial and stop using false memory ocd as an excuse and just admit to them because I know deep down I have done them and that they’re true which is why I feel a deep sense of clarity about them and that I am just continuing to lie to myself, to my girlfriend, to my therapist and to my family when I say I don’t know whether I have done anything sexual to or with this person because deep down I know I have I just don’t want to admit it so I’m continuing to be in this heavy state and cycle of denial because I don’t want to accept what I have done. I just want this to end. I just want confirmation that I have never done anything sexual to or with this person and that these memories are entirely fabricated by my ocd and have no basis in reality but I don’t even think that’s possible. I’m so done.