- Username
- katia
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My attraction came back completely. And it happened when I stopped caring about it anymore. I just let it go. I stopped pressuring myself to feel anything. I had a hookup or two with guys where I just let myself feel nothing and didn’t do any compulsions about it. I accepted that I just wasn’t going to feel anything and that was okay and I could still do whatever I wanted. And then I met a guy I was immediately interested in and it just flooded back in very strongly. We started dating. I had one or two instances where I thought my attraction might leave again, but I just reminded myself that that was okay and all I had to do was go with the flow. If I stopped feeling attracted to him long term, I could always leave. I chose to be brave and to accept the bad without dwelling on it or judging it. And then things just started working again like they used to before HOCD. I hope this helps.
You can’t know. But you can stop doing mental compulsions to try to figure it out and choose to sit with the uncertainty. It will be hard at first but better for you in the long run.
Ugh ur comment gave me life honestly fr like I’m the same I feel like cmon I just want my attraction, like before even if an ugly guy talked to me I would have feelings like it’s so crazy
Goodddd its crazyy how much i relate. Im In the exact same state like same i still feel like i fight hocd but im not like anxious anymore but i still dont feel like myself snd numb because i miss the attraction. I also feel so stuck. Im not scared but im just pissed i dont have the attraction back because everyone says the attraction is gone because jts under layers lf anxiety but what if the anxiett is gone. Than the attraction ishould be back right? Well i havent felt anyhting. Im sometimes scared i will fall back jnto my okd paterns and that i will become super scared again but for now im just like... feeling weird. Not like myself but not like super extreme hocd sufferer. I just want the attraction back so i can be fully me again. At least this stage is more comfortable because i dont worry all The time. But its also worse bevause soemtimes im scared that i secretly accepted im gay and thst thats why im feeling less anxious now. Ugh im a whole ?
No I like men a lot .
Lmaooo My ass cried like a lil baby every night bevause i knew i would never meet him. I was sooo into thst boy. Now when i see him a see a whole homeless guy. I see all them Girls thirsting over him and im there like ??? i wish...
Bro like I’m gonna say this it’s a bit embarrassing but it’s ok when I was like 8 years old I used to act like I’m kissing all the members of 1D like shajsgjaushaka bitch what was I thinking like what happened to my brain when I thought I was gay lmaoooo
Addfhhjklk i did that tooo ngl. Also i pretended to be jade and kiss beck from victorious lololol and what u said bout that girls would say just go love a boy. Sooo true. U dont understand like i been forcing myself 24/7 bc i wanna catch feelings bc im soo empty. so weird tthat before this i had like 2992 crushes on boys and i catched feelings sooo fast for a boy but now... my brain convinced me im gay. What jn the world
Is that like ur private acc bc im thinking of making one too
Yeah therapy but sis i aint tellin my parents im already one annoying ass child and if they hear this they forreal gonna be done with me and unown me lol but i cant pay for therapy myself. Do u also feel ljke u got social anxirty bc of dis and scared to meet girls and all that so im scared to work with people
@pureolife damn i aspire to be like you. U act like its nothing aahah for me its sooo hard to just not care. Im going to try anyway thank you :)
Once you’re over it, summarizing it to someone else makes it sound simple. But it’s anything but when you’re going through it. I had to sort of hit bottom and surrender. It was a really hard time in my life. But once I did, life just got better and better. And then after awhile I could recognize that I was actually better. And happy.
I don’t have a formula or quick fix. I just know you have to accept the uncertainty of it all. Accept that you may not be attracted to men. Accept that you may be gay. Accept that your life may be different than you thought. And then just live your life anyways. Go on a date with a guy, even if you may not feel attraction the way you “want” and even though you “might” be gay. Accept those possibilities and do whatever you want to anyways. Don’t dwell on the feelings or thoughts that arise or don’t arise. Just enjoy whatever it is you can enjoy. Maybe it’s just their sense of humor or the movie you see together. Maybe it’s just companionship. Don’t force your feelings. And eventually they will flow naturally again.
It came back when I did both. You can’t only address one part. You have to face all of the fears.
Oh got it now so sorry if my question bothered u u are so amazing and u rlly helped me sm❤️❤️❤️
I don't know but I would like to know. Maybe u need a proper partner ?
Nah gurl I don’t get attracted to no men lmao and that’s why I’m asking been single my whole life
How old are you ?
16
Wait what is ur ocd and ur situation? I also experience loss of attraction to man
I had no attraction to men in this age too.
I kissed a man first time when I was 18 haha. before I thought it's disgusting Hahah
What.. the thing is. I used to have attraction. A lot like i loved guys so much. But it just dissapeard
Jajusuina are u gay? I don’t mean anything just asking
Pureoflife is right
Hocdsummergirl my experience is hocd and it makes ur attraction for men disappear
Pureolife when u recovered from hocd how did it feel like when u started to recover how did the attraction came back plz tell me I feel like u know a lot about ocd I see a lot of ur comments
And now u still like em with hocd
I would like to know too bc i see very rarely that oeople find themselves back and that they like boys as much as they used to again. I truly crave attraction to men again bevause my life now just aint it
Omg hocdsummergirl same like I just want it back but u know what give me hope u know that women called Chrissie Hodges ? Shes getting married soon and she used to have hocd so like wow I feel so happy for her and I hope the same is gonna happen for me and u too
@katia thay does gives me hope. For me its seems Impossible to get the same amount of attraction back because i was boy crazy but now i csnt even develop a simple crush. Its so horrible like every girl Is out her egetting boyfriends and im here like... im not even attracted to guys. But i miss the warm feeling guys gave me so much. I truly hope for us one day we get to marry a man we truly love and its not forced.
Hahahaah i knowww its so Insane. So true like an ugly ass boy would give me attention and then id still catch feelings. Harry styles litteraly was my husband ( not fr fr but u know:p) and now.. emptynss. Just anxiety when i see boys because i know girls are feeling things that Im not feeling. And i miss those feelings because they made me feel alive and like me. They made my identity and now Im losing myself.
Omg Harry styles bitch same when I was very lil I had a crush on him lmaoooo
Omg fr it’s so funny that we wish like if u tell someone they are gonna be like da fuck just go love a boy like nah u don’t understand just go away lolllolol
Frrrr but u know like I’m not scared of the thought of being gay anymore u know feel like I recovered but it’s worse than before bc it feels like I’m not living like I’m not gay or straight ik u don’t feel the same ur still fighting hocd but no I’m not like not scared at allllll but I don’t have my attraction back I feel stuck it’s so weird
Gurl u have an insta
Omg wtf finally someone like me I’ve been searching for someone like me omg u honestly scared me when u said the attraction is under all the layers of anxiety or whatever omg I’m scared now
Someone told me that but i asked her that i feel no anxierty sonwhy didnt attravtion come back, she said because there still is anxirty but subconsiously. So she said time will heel me so basically inshould be patient. I have been “patient” for 4 months now? but oh well. Anyway i have insta but i dont post lol i do have snap where i post but idkkk i never shared contacts w persons from hocd bevause im hella scared somebody finna find out. Whsts ur @?
It’s xkatia_xo
I honestly feel like what the gurl said to u it true but we don’t know how to expose our selves maybe we need therapists or maybe meds and then therapy
Omg pureolife ur a goddess I love u literally thank u sm but I have a question so like when u recovered from hocd u didn’t get it back u got it back by facing ur fear of not getting attracted to them
I didn’t get what u said :)
The doubt tried to slip back in once or twice. But I knew that surrendering was what I had done before and as hard as it was, I just had to keep doing it. I stopped running from the fear. And facing it after that got easier and easier until it stopped scaring me to do it anymore.
Yeah but what fear being gay or not getting attracted to men
All of it. Whatever you fear.
Yuh so sorry but u didn’t understand what I was saying I meant when did ur attraction came back when u got over the fear of being gay or when u faced the fear of not getting attracted to men
How do you tell if it’s real attraction or ocd ? I feel so confused about attraction and sexual attraction ever done I been getting incest ocd . Part of me knows it’s ocd and the other part is low key scared it’s not. I don’t want to have attraction toward my brother or any family members. I just want this to stop. I keep praying to god that I go back to the Naja I used to be and I don’t think he’s listening. Please help .
YALL I DON’T GET ANXIETY AT ALL ANYMORE LIKE I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE THOUGHT OF BEING GAY FEEL LIKE I RECOVERED BUT I WANT MY ATTRACTION FOR BOYS BACK LIKE WTF IK SOME WILL SAY I NEED TO WAIT BUT I WAITED FOR 4 MONTH LIKE I SHOULD FEEL SOME CHANGE ITS GETTING WORSE IDK WHAT GOING ON LIKE IF U RECOVER YOU SHOULD BE YOURSELF AGAIN AND GET BACK YOUR ATTRACTION AND ALL THAT BUT ALL THAT RLLY HAPPENED TO ME IS THAT I DONT GET SCARED OF THE THOUGHTS ANYMORE WHATS THAT PLZZZZZ SOMEONE TELL WHAT DOES THAT MEAN LIKE I BEEN WANTING TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON WITH ME SINCE FOREVER IF YOU FEEL TGE SAME PLZ TELL ME WHAT TO DOOO
Am I lesbian or it’s just hocd and libido issues? I (F29) don’t feel desire to have sex with my boyfriend (M32) and I am scared it’s because I am lesbian. We are together 3 years and we are also living together. I think I am more aroused by lesbian porn and lesbian fantasies than straight stuff and sex with men. I always dated men and I felt drawn to them, I also never wanted to be with a woman in real life and I was never attracted to a woman in real life, but I am scared I am just in denial and didn’t know about it or I always knew but didn’t want to accept the truth :-(. It’s not that I never wanted to have sex with men, but when the relationship starts to be serious the desire decreases. I really don’t know what to do. I love my boyfriend and don’t want to break up with him. It’s not a new topic for me. I deal with it already 4 years. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder 5 years ago, because I had panic attacks and some health ocd. After one year I started to be scared that I am a lesbian. I had a therapy and I talked about it with my therapists and they said it’s ocd, but I didn’t tell them the whole true about the porn and fantasies. In my country (Poland/Germany) the therapists are mainly familiar with health or harm ocd, so I don’t know if my therapists were familiar with these kind of thoughts. Also sometimes I think that even if it’s ocd it doesn’t mean it’s not truth. The only difference is that I am just more worried, scared and obsessed about it than other people who are questioning their sexuality. Also I even don’t know if it’s still ocd. It feels more like denial right now. Like I know the truth, but I just don’t want to accept it or I try to convince myself that for example it’s normal in long term relationship to not desire sex but the truth is it’s not normal if it happens all the time. I don’t really have ocd symptoms right now. At the beginning I was very scared and had to google all the time etc., but right now I just have pretty normal life. I am just still worried about it and ruminate though right now I try to avoid the whole thoughts and feelings all the time. And this is exactly what the people call denial. Knowing the truth but avoiding it… I don’t know if i have still doubts. It’s more like I know deep down what is the truth but I still hope it’s not the truth and try to convince myself that it’s everything ok but it doesn’t work because I am just a lesbian :-( TL;DR - I have sex issues in my relationship. I don’t feel desire to have sex and I am looking for a solution how to change it. Hopefully it’s because ocd and I am not attracted to women.
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