- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My attraction came back completely. And it happened when I stopped caring about it anymore. I just let it go. I stopped pressuring myself to feel anything. I had a hookup or two with guys where I just let myself feel nothing and didn’t do any compulsions about it. I accepted that I just wasn’t going to feel anything and that was okay and I could still do whatever I wanted. And then I met a guy I was immediately interested in and it just flooded back in very strongly. We started dating. I had one or two instances where I thought my attraction might leave again, but I just reminded myself that that was okay and all I had to do was go with the flow. If I stopped feeling attracted to him long term, I could always leave. I chose to be brave and to accept the bad without dwelling on it or judging it. And then things just started working again like they used to before HOCD. I hope this helps.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You can’t know. But you can stop doing mental compulsions to try to figure it out and choose to sit with the uncertainty. It will be hard at first but better for you in the long run.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ugh ur comment gave me life honestly fr like I’m the same I feel like cmon I just want my attraction, like before even if an ugly guy talked to me I would have feelings like it’s so crazy
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Goodddd its crazyy how much i relate. Im In the exact same state like same i still feel like i fight hocd but im not like anxious anymore but i still dont feel like myself snd numb because i miss the attraction. I also feel so stuck. Im not scared but im just pissed i dont have the attraction back because everyone says the attraction is gone because jts under layers lf anxiety but what if the anxiett is gone. Than the attraction ishould be back right? Well i havent felt anyhting. Im sometimes scared i will fall back jnto my okd paterns and that i will become super scared again but for now im just like... feeling weird. Not like myself but not like super extreme hocd sufferer. I just want the attraction back so i can be fully me again. At least this stage is more comfortable because i dont worry all The time. But its also worse bevause soemtimes im scared that i secretly accepted im gay and thst thats why im feeling less anxious now. Ugh im a whole ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
No I like men a lot .
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Lmaooo My ass cried like a lil baby every night bevause i knew i would never meet him. I was sooo into thst boy. Now when i see him a see a whole homeless guy. I see all them Girls thirsting over him and im there like ??? i wish...
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Bro like I’m gonna say this it’s a bit embarrassing but it’s ok when I was like 8 years old I used to act like I’m kissing all the members of 1D like shajsgjaushaka bitch what was I thinking like what happened to my brain when I thought I was gay lmaoooo
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Addfhhjklk i did that tooo ngl. Also i pretended to be jade and kiss beck from victorious lololol and what u said bout that girls would say just go love a boy. Sooo true. U dont understand like i been forcing myself 24/7 bc i wanna catch feelings bc im soo empty. so weird tthat before this i had like 2992 crushes on boys and i catched feelings sooo fast for a boy but now... my brain convinced me im gay. What jn the world
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Is that like ur private acc bc im thinking of making one too
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah therapy but sis i aint tellin my parents im already one annoying ass child and if they hear this they forreal gonna be done with me and unown me lol but i cant pay for therapy myself. Do u also feel ljke u got social anxirty bc of dis and scared to meet girls and all that so im scared to work with people
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@pureolife damn i aspire to be like you. U act like its nothing aahah for me its sooo hard to just not care. Im going to try anyway thank you :)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Once you’re over it, summarizing it to someone else makes it sound simple. But it’s anything but when you’re going through it. I had to sort of hit bottom and surrender. It was a really hard time in my life. But once I did, life just got better and better. And then after awhile I could recognize that I was actually better. And happy.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I don’t have a formula or quick fix. I just know you have to accept the uncertainty of it all. Accept that you may not be attracted to men. Accept that you may be gay. Accept that your life may be different than you thought. And then just live your life anyways. Go on a date with a guy, even if you may not feel attraction the way you “want” and even though you “might” be gay. Accept those possibilities and do whatever you want to anyways. Don’t dwell on the feelings or thoughts that arise or don’t arise. Just enjoy whatever it is you can enjoy. Maybe it’s just their sense of humor or the movie you see together. Maybe it’s just companionship. Don’t force your feelings. And eventually they will flow naturally again.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It came back when I did both. You can’t only address one part. You have to face all of the fears.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Oh got it now so sorry if my question bothered u u are so amazing and u rlly helped me sm❤️❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I don't know but I would like to know. Maybe u need a proper partner ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Nah gurl I don’t get attracted to no men lmao and that’s why I’m asking been single my whole life
- Date posted
- 5y ago
How old are you ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
16
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Wait what is ur ocd and ur situation? I also experience loss of attraction to man
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I had no attraction to men in this age too.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I kissed a man first time when I was 18 haha. before I thought it's disgusting Hahah
- Date posted
- 5y ago
What.. the thing is. I used to have attraction. A lot like i loved guys so much. But it just dissapeard
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Jajusuina are u gay? I don’t mean anything just asking
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Pureoflife is right
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hocdsummergirl my experience is hocd and it makes ur attraction for men disappear
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Pureolife when u recovered from hocd how did it feel like when u started to recover how did the attraction came back plz tell me I feel like u know a lot about ocd I see a lot of ur comments
- Date posted
- 5y ago
And now u still like em with hocd
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I would like to know too bc i see very rarely that oeople find themselves back and that they like boys as much as they used to again. I truly crave attraction to men again bevause my life now just aint it
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Omg hocdsummergirl same like I just want it back but u know what give me hope u know that women called Chrissie Hodges ? Shes getting married soon and she used to have hocd so like wow I feel so happy for her and I hope the same is gonna happen for me and u too
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@katia thay does gives me hope. For me its seems Impossible to get the same amount of attraction back because i was boy crazy but now i csnt even develop a simple crush. Its so horrible like every girl Is out her egetting boyfriends and im here like... im not even attracted to guys. But i miss the warm feeling guys gave me so much. I truly hope for us one day we get to marry a man we truly love and its not forced.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hahahaah i knowww its so Insane. So true like an ugly ass boy would give me attention and then id still catch feelings. Harry styles litteraly was my husband ( not fr fr but u know:p) and now.. emptynss. Just anxiety when i see boys because i know girls are feeling things that Im not feeling. And i miss those feelings because they made me feel alive and like me. They made my identity and now Im losing myself.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Omg Harry styles bitch same when I was very lil I had a crush on him lmaoooo
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Omg fr it’s so funny that we wish like if u tell someone they are gonna be like da fuck just go love a boy like nah u don’t understand just go away lolllolol
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Frrrr but u know like I’m not scared of the thought of being gay anymore u know feel like I recovered but it’s worse than before bc it feels like I’m not living like I’m not gay or straight ik u don’t feel the same ur still fighting hocd but no I’m not like not scared at allllll but I don’t have my attraction back I feel stuck it’s so weird
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Gurl u have an insta
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Omg wtf finally someone like me I’ve been searching for someone like me omg u honestly scared me when u said the attraction is under all the layers of anxiety or whatever omg I’m scared now
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Someone told me that but i asked her that i feel no anxierty sonwhy didnt attravtion come back, she said because there still is anxirty but subconsiously. So she said time will heel me so basically inshould be patient. I have been “patient” for 4 months now? but oh well. Anyway i have insta but i dont post lol i do have snap where i post but idkkk i never shared contacts w persons from hocd bevause im hella scared somebody finna find out. Whsts ur @?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It’s xkatia_xo
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I honestly feel like what the gurl said to u it true but we don’t know how to expose our selves maybe we need therapists or maybe meds and then therapy
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Omg pureolife ur a goddess I love u literally thank u sm but I have a question so like when u recovered from hocd u didn’t get it back u got it back by facing ur fear of not getting attracted to them
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I didn’t get what u said :)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The doubt tried to slip back in once or twice. But I knew that surrendering was what I had done before and as hard as it was, I just had to keep doing it. I stopped running from the fear. And facing it after that got easier and easier until it stopped scaring me to do it anymore.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah but what fear being gay or not getting attracted to men
- Date posted
- 5y ago
All of it. Whatever you fear.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yuh so sorry but u didn’t understand what I was saying I meant when did ur attraction came back when u got over the fear of being gay or when u faced the fear of not getting attracted to men
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- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
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- Date posted
- 11w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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