- Username
- katia
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My attraction came back completely. And it happened when I stopped caring about it anymore. I just let it go. I stopped pressuring myself to feel anything. I had a hookup or two with guys where I just let myself feel nothing and didn’t do any compulsions about it. I accepted that I just wasn’t going to feel anything and that was okay and I could still do whatever I wanted. And then I met a guy I was immediately interested in and it just flooded back in very strongly. We started dating. I had one or two instances where I thought my attraction might leave again, but I just reminded myself that that was okay and all I had to do was go with the flow. If I stopped feeling attracted to him long term, I could always leave. I chose to be brave and to accept the bad without dwelling on it or judging it. And then things just started working again like they used to before HOCD. I hope this helps.
You can’t know. But you can stop doing mental compulsions to try to figure it out and choose to sit with the uncertainty. It will be hard at first but better for you in the long run.
Ugh ur comment gave me life honestly fr like I’m the same I feel like cmon I just want my attraction, like before even if an ugly guy talked to me I would have feelings like it’s so crazy
Goodddd its crazyy how much i relate. Im In the exact same state like same i still feel like i fight hocd but im not like anxious anymore but i still dont feel like myself snd numb because i miss the attraction. I also feel so stuck. Im not scared but im just pissed i dont have the attraction back because everyone says the attraction is gone because jts under layers lf anxiety but what if the anxiett is gone. Than the attraction ishould be back right? Well i havent felt anyhting. Im sometimes scared i will fall back jnto my okd paterns and that i will become super scared again but for now im just like... feeling weird. Not like myself but not like super extreme hocd sufferer. I just want the attraction back so i can be fully me again. At least this stage is more comfortable because i dont worry all The time. But its also worse bevause soemtimes im scared that i secretly accepted im gay and thst thats why im feeling less anxious now. Ugh im a whole ?
No I like men a lot .
Lmaooo My ass cried like a lil baby every night bevause i knew i would never meet him. I was sooo into thst boy. Now when i see him a see a whole homeless guy. I see all them Girls thirsting over him and im there like ??? i wish...
Bro like I’m gonna say this it’s a bit embarrassing but it’s ok when I was like 8 years old I used to act like I’m kissing all the members of 1D like shajsgjaushaka bitch what was I thinking like what happened to my brain when I thought I was gay lmaoooo
Addfhhjklk i did that tooo ngl. Also i pretended to be jade and kiss beck from victorious lololol and what u said bout that girls would say just go love a boy. Sooo true. U dont understand like i been forcing myself 24/7 bc i wanna catch feelings bc im soo empty. so weird tthat before this i had like 2992 crushes on boys and i catched feelings sooo fast for a boy but now... my brain convinced me im gay. What jn the world
Is that like ur private acc bc im thinking of making one too
Yeah therapy but sis i aint tellin my parents im already one annoying ass child and if they hear this they forreal gonna be done with me and unown me lol but i cant pay for therapy myself. Do u also feel ljke u got social anxirty bc of dis and scared to meet girls and all that so im scared to work with people
@pureolife damn i aspire to be like you. U act like its nothing aahah for me its sooo hard to just not care. Im going to try anyway thank you :)
Once you’re over it, summarizing it to someone else makes it sound simple. But it’s anything but when you’re going through it. I had to sort of hit bottom and surrender. It was a really hard time in my life. But once I did, life just got better and better. And then after awhile I could recognize that I was actually better. And happy.
I don’t have a formula or quick fix. I just know you have to accept the uncertainty of it all. Accept that you may not be attracted to men. Accept that you may be gay. Accept that your life may be different than you thought. And then just live your life anyways. Go on a date with a guy, even if you may not feel attraction the way you “want” and even though you “might” be gay. Accept those possibilities and do whatever you want to anyways. Don’t dwell on the feelings or thoughts that arise or don’t arise. Just enjoy whatever it is you can enjoy. Maybe it’s just their sense of humor or the movie you see together. Maybe it’s just companionship. Don’t force your feelings. And eventually they will flow naturally again.
It came back when I did both. You can’t only address one part. You have to face all of the fears.
Oh got it now so sorry if my question bothered u u are so amazing and u rlly helped me sm❤️❤️❤️
I don't know but I would like to know. Maybe u need a proper partner ?
Nah gurl I don’t get attracted to no men lmao and that’s why I’m asking been single my whole life
How old are you ?
16
Wait what is ur ocd and ur situation? I also experience loss of attraction to man
I had no attraction to men in this age too.
I kissed a man first time when I was 18 haha. before I thought it's disgusting Hahah
What.. the thing is. I used to have attraction. A lot like i loved guys so much. But it just dissapeard
Jajusuina are u gay? I don’t mean anything just asking
Pureoflife is right
Hocdsummergirl my experience is hocd and it makes ur attraction for men disappear
Pureolife when u recovered from hocd how did it feel like when u started to recover how did the attraction came back plz tell me I feel like u know a lot about ocd I see a lot of ur comments
And now u still like em with hocd
I would like to know too bc i see very rarely that oeople find themselves back and that they like boys as much as they used to again. I truly crave attraction to men again bevause my life now just aint it
Omg hocdsummergirl same like I just want it back but u know what give me hope u know that women called Chrissie Hodges ? Shes getting married soon and she used to have hocd so like wow I feel so happy for her and I hope the same is gonna happen for me and u too
@katia thay does gives me hope. For me its seems Impossible to get the same amount of attraction back because i was boy crazy but now i csnt even develop a simple crush. Its so horrible like every girl Is out her egetting boyfriends and im here like... im not even attracted to guys. But i miss the warm feeling guys gave me so much. I truly hope for us one day we get to marry a man we truly love and its not forced.
Hahahaah i knowww its so Insane. So true like an ugly ass boy would give me attention and then id still catch feelings. Harry styles litteraly was my husband ( not fr fr but u know:p) and now.. emptynss. Just anxiety when i see boys because i know girls are feeling things that Im not feeling. And i miss those feelings because they made me feel alive and like me. They made my identity and now Im losing myself.
Omg Harry styles bitch same when I was very lil I had a crush on him lmaoooo
Omg fr it’s so funny that we wish like if u tell someone they are gonna be like da fuck just go love a boy like nah u don’t understand just go away lolllolol
Frrrr but u know like I’m not scared of the thought of being gay anymore u know feel like I recovered but it’s worse than before bc it feels like I’m not living like I’m not gay or straight ik u don’t feel the same ur still fighting hocd but no I’m not like not scared at allllll but I don’t have my attraction back I feel stuck it’s so weird
Gurl u have an insta
Omg wtf finally someone like me I’ve been searching for someone like me omg u honestly scared me when u said the attraction is under all the layers of anxiety or whatever omg I’m scared now
Someone told me that but i asked her that i feel no anxierty sonwhy didnt attravtion come back, she said because there still is anxirty but subconsiously. So she said time will heel me so basically inshould be patient. I have been “patient” for 4 months now? but oh well. Anyway i have insta but i dont post lol i do have snap where i post but idkkk i never shared contacts w persons from hocd bevause im hella scared somebody finna find out. Whsts ur @?
It’s xkatia_xo
I honestly feel like what the gurl said to u it true but we don’t know how to expose our selves maybe we need therapists or maybe meds and then therapy
Omg pureolife ur a goddess I love u literally thank u sm but I have a question so like when u recovered from hocd u didn’t get it back u got it back by facing ur fear of not getting attracted to them
I didn’t get what u said :)
The doubt tried to slip back in once or twice. But I knew that surrendering was what I had done before and as hard as it was, I just had to keep doing it. I stopped running from the fear. And facing it after that got easier and easier until it stopped scaring me to do it anymore.
Yeah but what fear being gay or not getting attracted to men
All of it. Whatever you fear.
Yuh so sorry but u didn’t understand what I was saying I meant when did ur attraction came back when u got over the fear of being gay or when u faced the fear of not getting attracted to men
Plz I need ANSWERS GUYS WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF THE THOUGHT DOESNT BOTHER ME ANYMORE I RLLY DONT THINK ITS “RECOVERING” BC U CANT RECOVER JUST IN SECONDS U HAVE TO DO ERP THERAPY IM DO CONFUSED HELP
I suffer from many forms of OCD, but P and Z are by far the worst. What makes me wonder though, is my high libido. It might have to do with my biological clock ticking, or with me focusing on feelings in my groinal area to check, if I get aroused by children and/or animals, and/or me getting aroused through tensing my muscles there, whenever I have a P/Z OCD thought, or urge. I don't know and I try to not think about it too much, in order to not feet the OCD monster. What strikes me as odd, is that the slightest thought about sex seems to turn me on, like not false OCD arousal, but real, not that I'm in to children, or animals, or elderly, or family members, but as I said anything slightly sexual seems to turn me on. When I hear moans of pain, that's bad, too. There is nothing sexy about it. This "everything turns me on" feeling had never been there before P/Z OCD started and it didn't start right away, but developed later, I think after I got the pacemaker for deep brain stimulation for people with treatment resistant OCD. The pacemaker made me more aggressive, causes me to talk much more (too much for most) and might be also responsible for the higher libido. Can anyone with POCD and/or ZOCD related to what I am experiencing? Does anyone on here also has a pacemaker for DBS?
Hi everyone! I just wanted to see if anyone else felt the way that I did about something related to SO-OCD… I’m finally discovering that I might have this sub genre of OCD and have had it for a very long time. I have always felt awkward around other women especially in more intimate situations (like changing in the same room, laying in bed together or giving compliments about looks). All of this hit me like a ton of bricks when I got into a relationship with my boyfriend 2 years ago and our sex life started to decline after about 9 months of us being together. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and I obsess over finding out why I have grown not attracted to him sexually. Am I a lesbian? Am I just depressed? Am I falling out of love with him? Was I ever in love with him? The list goes on and my obsession with it grows stronger. I’m so scared I will have to break up with him because I do love him and love spending time with him. I’m scared to start ERP therapy because I’m worried I’ll realize that it’s best to just let him go 😭
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond