- Date posted
- 1y ago
Harm OCD
Does anyone also get intrusive Thoughts that are targeted to one person. I’m having intrusive thoughts of harming my mom. I definitely don’t want to but the thought kind of just sits in my head all day. Any tips?
Does anyone also get intrusive Thoughts that are targeted to one person. I’m having intrusive thoughts of harming my mom. I definitely don’t want to but the thought kind of just sits in my head all day. Any tips?
Yes very common! I had a period where all my intrusive thoughts were about my brother, the way I combatted it was spending time with him and doing things that I deemed “scary” - like sitting next to him or making food with him standing next to me. Ocd sucks because it’s one of the only disorders where you have to continuously have to put yourself in anxiety provoking situations 😔 but it does get easier once you teach your brain that you don’t care about the thoughts
@LJP05 Did your thoughts stick In your head all day long? And do you have any tips for that? Because it seems like the thoughts are in my head rent free 24/7.
@Anonymous Yes I had them in my head 24/7 for about 6 months, the only way I managed to get them under control was going back to school (so basically just keeping myself occupied), since relapsing with my ocd I’ve started medication which has really helped but also doesn’t help everyone - maybe a good idea to look into! I really just advocate keeping yourself busy and not letting your ocd stop you from doing things you want to do
@LJP05 Yeah tried Prozac but that made me feel like a zombie all day.
Hi there! I struggle with harm OCD too. It’s a horrible hell but I have found a lot of hope and coping strategies that have eased my anxiety. First of all please know that you’re a good person and that your thoughts are just simply thoughts. I recommend reading the book “the wisdom of anxiety” it helped me SO much in understanding my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. In addition to the book I recommend seeking therapy from an OCD therapist who can gently guide you back to yourself. One thing I practice is sitting with the discomfort. Don’t shame yourself or panic yourself into hysteria. I always say “I see you thought and I acknowledge you but I’m going to continue on with what I’m doing” and the more I practice this the less anxiety I felt.. I eventually learned to giggle at them because of how outrageous they are. If you aren’t opposed to medication I’m on Zoloft which has been quite a life saver. I hope these tips help. You’re not crazy and you’re certainly not alone!
Does anyone else get “I hate you” thoughts towards their loved ones? For me specifically it’s towards my mom. I have harm OCD and it tends to be directed towards my mom. I have always been close to my mom, she’s my best friend and I know I do love her. I had not ever questioned my love or closeness to her before. However, now with this flare up, I keep getting “I hate you” thoughts whenever I’m with my mom. Even just looking at her can bring this thought into my head. I don’t feel anxiety towards it, but it does make me feel sad and down. I ruminate about how I truly feel, like I’m testing my feelings towards her - do I really hate her? Have my feelings changed and I know longer love her? I have told her this before, out of guilt and seeking reassurance, and she knows I have OCD, but it makes me feel guilty to tell her that since I know it makes her sad. So I guess my main question is, does anyone else get these kind of thoughts? And then do you question your feelings and just feel hesitant to even be around the person?
My OCD wants to keep switching “themes” on me, but once again it always concerns my mom or family. This time it’s sexual-related. The one I experience the most is the harm-related thoughts towards her, thinking I want to hurt her or thinking she abused me in the past (she did not) so that’s why I have these thoughts. My mind is always trying to see if there are deeper meanings to these thoughts and how I really feel. Yesterday my thoughts started going towards - “what if I’m attracted to my mom?” I was reading a book and it was a romantic scene and an image of my mom popped into my head. I tried to just dismiss it since I know we can’t control what comes into our heads, but I of course ruminated about it more and it has become a full-blown obsession. I have started wondering if I really am attracted to her or not, do I want to be in a relationship with her, am I just denying my feelings, etc. It sounds so disgusting and disturbing to share these things, but it’s difficult to disengage with this kind of thinking. Like it’s too disturbing to just let it go. Which leads to other worries like what if I can never be in a real relationship because I will just keep having these thoughts, what if this is true and how will I live with myself, what if my mom sexually abused me as a kid and that’s why I’m having these thoughts, etc. I know I’m going down the rabbit hole, but I just keep coming up with more and more “reasons.” Trying to go about my day and not pay them any attention, but it has been difficult to focus on anything else. Which then makes me wonder if I’m actually just fantasizing now and not actually obsessing.
I’m so tired of my OCD changing “themes.” And no matter what it changes to, it’s always directed towards a specific person - my mom. My mom and I are very close. I consider her my best friend and we live together. I can share anything with her and she’s very supportive. I’m 32 now, but harm ocd started when I was 15 and she was the main target back then as well. I had a bad flare up this year and the harm thoughts came back, but about a week ago they turned into sexual thoughts. Graphic thoughts and images about incest. These thoughts typically make me feel panic and dread, and just an overall depressed feeling. It has made me uncomfortable to be around my mom, since I can’t even look at her without a sexual thought or image popping up. Even watching a romantic scene in a show, listening a romantic song, etc. My brain wants to put an image of her in my head. Even me fantasizing about a man that I’m attracted to will replace the man with my mom. They just keep popping up. So this of course makes me think I actually want these things, and are actually fantasies. I have started to wonder if I’m in actual denial or that these are my true feelings. I have never been a relationship before due to not having much interest in it plus my mental health issues started as a teen, but someday I would like to get married. But now I’m thinking maybe I’ve never pursued a relationship with someone else because I’m actually in love with my mom and want to be with her, but I can’t so I’m just suppressing my feelings. And I do love my mom, but I question myself is this just platonic or familial love? Also questioning our relationship in general now - is it unhealthy or too dependent? It makes me feel doubt, since I have never really been in love before with someone else so I have nothing to compare it to. Always just crushes or finding a man attractive, and I identify as straight. But I also have not thought of my mom in a sexual way before, so I’m hoping this is just my OCD acting up. Even thinking about a future relationship with a man is making me feel nervous, since I think if I have feelings for my mom, will I ever be able to be in a serious relationship someday? If I’m with someone will I actually just picture her? It makes me feel hopeless, like I can’t help how I feel and what if these things are true? Would I act on them? My brain even made me think, “you want to ask your mom to be in a sexual relationship with you and/or want her to ask you.” I feel like such a pervert for writing that, like a truly disgusting person. I know I don’t want these things to be true, but what if they are and I can’t help how I feel? Again just feel doubt and uncertainty, that I’m in denial, and not to mention just feeling like a very sick individual.
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