especially since ive recovered a lot from my bad episode of like religious “ocd” (im nto diagnosed) i feel like idk a part of me just wants my ocd compulsions back like i enjoyed all the control i had in my life and like i sort of liked how ill i was and thats so wrong to say but i dont know how to get rid of this feeling because ive had it for months atp
I understand - it’s bc OCD is a sense of familiarity to you. You’ve had it for so long that when OCD isn’t front and centre, things feel empty and out of your hands. I feel this way when I’m not stressed with school or work, it’s like idk who I am without it.
Yeah, I definitely get you. Sometimes I get very similar feelings, and it all feels very weird.
You think it could just be your brain trying to resort back to what it’s familiar with? Almost like an addict feeling uncomfortable when they’ve been sober for months at a time causing them to want to cave and go back to where they were comfortable at even if they know they’re better off now
@Anonymous ahh that makes sm sense
I consider myself recovered from OCD. i still have intrusive thoughts but they no longer upset me. some days i really dont even remeber if i had any thoughts. I am so thankful to be better because it was SO bad at one point. However lately i have been grieving the 2.5 years of my life that i lost to constant intrusive thoughts and compulsions. It makes me so sad that i wasted so much time stuck in my own mind. does anyone else ever feel this way?
i feel oddly calm with the thoughts, though they still stress me out a bit but a lot less. i almost feel too comfortable. i also feel doomed, like even if i recover i will be someone i don’t wanna be.. like it’s becoming more than ocd
i had really severe obsessions and compulsions in august 2023-december 2023 but i was able to use skills i learnt to move past it and regulate myself and i still get intrusive thoughts but i dont obsess over them anymore bc i know how to deal with them but then theres always that feeling of feeling invalid and like bc it was such a short period of time i was faking it or im not alloweed in ocd communities because its not coming up as severe obsessions 24/7 and sometjmes i find myself slipping back into obsessions but quickly rid myself of it within a few hours. i dont mnow what this is it's almost like i wish to be hurt again so ill be believed
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